Page 14 of The Butcher

Now? I wish I had no idea what was going on because my body hurts in a way I have never felt before and I know the double dose means this is going to last a lot longer than I’m used to.

With a heave, my head lolls and I try like hell to keep the bile down.

It didn’t take much time for this heat to hit but they wanted to make sure it stuck before they sent anyone to me, and I’ve been suffering the entire time.

I keep trying to remember what my mother said in hopes it’ll help me take my mind off of the pain.

She told me sex isn’t always like this, just like a natural heat isn’t either. She was hopeful I’d get pregnant, and the alpha would want to keep me, that I’d get out of this terrible place and have the chance to live a normal life. That’s why she told me about what it was like for her when she was happy.

I think I’d like that.

To be happy. To find my match, to have them want to keep me. I think about it a lot. Daydreams. Fantasies about finding my mate or mates and staying with them forever. We’d do the normal things my mom described, like enjoying meals together, walking outside in the sun, sitting quietly by a fire while reading a book and sipping wine.

We’d make love.

When she thought I was old enough, Mom explained the difference between what happened to us here and the way things would be with my match. She told me that sex was meant to bemeaningful and beautiful, it should be fun and safe. It should be given, not taken, and between people who cared for each other.

That was hard to believe.

They hadn’t started breeding me yet, but it was coming, and I knew what my mother went through when they took me away to their version of school. I couldn’t imagine that ever being enjoyable, but she said it was when she was with my father. She said that’s how things are supposed to be.

Her time with him was brief, so little in the grand scheme of things but my mother talked so fondly of him and their short stretch of happiness, and she was grateful she was able to leave this place and experience it even if it didn’t last.

I’m not as much of a romantic, I guess.

Not most of the time, anyway, but at times like these, when my body is out of my control and my mind is still clear, I let myself believe it could happen to me. I stop using my daydreams to escape and allow myself to think that they could come true the same way they did for my mom.

If I don’t do that, my mind goes to such a dark place, and I get completely lost in the hopelessness of my situation. Especially now, when I’m faced with the possibility of an outcome as terrifying as the one, I saw my mother succumb to.

“Well, hello there, Red.”

My heart starts beating wildly in my chest as soon as I hear those words, the muscle banging against my ribs while I force myself to sit up.

“Why isn’t she ready?” Foster, the more dominant of the alphas, asks with an obvious smirk. “I thought she was going to be presented to us.”

I can hardly see, my eyes keep closing and when they’re open, everything is blurry, but I hear them. I can hear their footsteps, the fabric of their clothes as they walk into my stall. They each have such a distinctive sound. They carry themselves differently,their strides are varied, and the weight of both males is just as distinctive with each time their expensive shoes connect with the dirt floor.

“My fault,” Hall says with a chuckle. “I wanted to see how well the double dose worked.”

My brow furrows as I try to force my eyes open.

I’m not sure what that means, exactly.

The double dose clearly worked because my body is burning from the inside out, and my core is painfully begging for a knot. This is worse than anything I’ve ever felt, and I know as soon as they’re past the doorway, there’s a better than likely chance I’ll vomit from their scents.

I can hardly handle them on a normal dose, something about how Foster’s musky scent and Hall’s tangy one makes my stomach pitch every time they come here, and I’m not sure why. You’d think after two years of them trying to breed me I’d be used to it by now but I’m not, and when you add their scents with everything else about this new stall, I don’t think I can avoid getting sick.

“Get to it then.” The sound of Foster starting to remove his clothing has my heart rate picking up a little more.

It’s only been these two for the last two years and part of me is grateful for that.

I know what to expect with them.

They aren’t gentle when they succumb to their rut, but they aren’t cruel. Neither Hall nor Foster are mean to me, even when I’ve failed to get pregnant. I know they’re why I’ve been allowed to have more choices than some of the other omegas, why I’ve been given books periodically or get extra time outside. They’re incredibly wealthy from what I understand, and they seem to have some pull with the Harden family, so I’m not treated as poorly as I have been in the past.

But there’s a bigger part of me that knows if I don’t get pregnant this time, that if my last chance is a total failure, they aren’t going to bat an eye when I’m gone. Neither of them will do anything to stop it from happening, and they won’t take home an unproductive omega no matter how fond of me they claim to be, so this is my last chance.

My body immediately responds as I feel hands on my shoulders, pulling me forward before I’m thrown over Hall’s shoulder.

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