At least we have the excuse that we got hungry on our way home. I won’t have an excuse if I arrange something with just her and me.

CHAPTER 9

HOLLY

At work the following morning, I take my camera and tour the office, interviewing people about how their Secret Santa is going. Most people are keeping everything casual as they should be. Nobody mentions nicknames or about becoming borderline obsessively curious about their Santas.

Nobody mentions wondering if their Santa is their brother’s best friend.

What am I basing that on? He said, “Fake it until you make it.” That’s a common phrase. He talked about my body-image stuff and called it “black-and-white thinking”—again, a common phrase.

Somehow, I wish for it to be true while knowing I shouldn’t. Dan has been much happier and less stressed since Asher came home. It’s not like he was miserable before, but he’s got an extra spring in his step now.

When I swing by the product design department, Asher is elsewhere, having a meeting. Derek sees me and rushes over. Heseems less OTT than usual. I feel sympathy for him. Sometimes, I think he’s just trying his best to be friendly.

“Working on a new project, Holly?” he says.

“I’m interviewing people about their Secret Santa,” I tell him.

“Wow, that sounds awesome,” he grins. “Do you want to interview me? I don’t mind. I’ve got a free ten minutes. You don’t have to.”

“Uh, sure.”

Why did I say that? I couldn’t think of an excuse quickly enough. Also, I want things to be normal with Derek. I don’t want to lead him on either. It’s not fair that I’m thinking like this.

He sits at his desk, takes a comb from his top drawer, and methodically combs his hair. I don’t want to be judgmental, but it has American Psycho vibes—so much for not being judgmental.

I switch on my camera.

“Aren’t you going to use a tripod?” he says with a frown.

“I want a more naturalistic look,” I tell him, annoyed he’s telling me how to do my job.

“Oh, okay.” He puts his comb down. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m prepared to give you the best interview of your life … to really knock your socks off.” He grins. “Maybe even impress you so much you’ll let me ask you on a date. Hey, what are you doing?”

People around us are looking, no doubt wondering why Derek’s being so weird.

I switch off my camera. “Derek, I’ve talked to you about this. I’m not interested in going on a date with you. I’m sorry this isn’t the answer you want, but I’d like to keep things professional between us.”

“I was just making acomment,” he says in disgust. “There’s no reason to overreact.”

“I don’t see this as an overreaction,” I say brusquely. “You’ve asked me several times, and I’ve said no every time. I’m not sure why you think this time would be different, but it’s not. I’m going to interview somebody else.”

I interview one of his colleagues on the design team. Her name is Mia. Before I turn on the camera, she mutters, “I’m sorry about Derek. He can be a real ass.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

She gives a good interview with usable footage for sure. The only hitch is that Asher returns from his meeting about halfway through. He strides across the office with long, confident steps. Mia looks up as if she can’t take her eyes off him. Jealousy makes me want to scream.

I push it down and continue my work, but I can’t ignore it.

When I finish the recording, I see Derek has just left Asher’s office. Asher stands at the door, his hands behind his back, his built form filling the frame. His Christmas cheer from yesterday seems to have evaporated.

“Holly,” he calls out to me. “Can I speak with you for a moment?”

Derek glares at me as I pack my camera away. I’m also far too aware of Mia ogling Asher. I like her. She gave me some great footage, but her focus on Asher annoys me.

“What’s up?” I say, joining Asher in his office.