Page 65 of Texting My Secret Santa

“I guess this is what they call a Mexican standoff, huh?” I shout.

Derek jogs away, probably knowing that Asher is on the verge of completely losing his patience. Asher clenches his fists. I take my hand from his arm, knowing that people from the office might see or might’ve seen the whole thing.

“Now what?” I ask.

Asher bites down. “We need to tell Dan.”

“No, Asher.”

“We have to get ahead of this. If Dan is going to find out, it can’t be like this.”

I think for a moment. “Derek won’t do anything. He knows it’ll be terrible for him, too. He won't risk that.”

“How sure are we about that?” Asher retorts. “I can’t have my best friend find outlike this. Not only will we have betrayed him,we will have done it twice. Dan will appreciate it if we go to him with the truth upfront.”

“We’re not telling him,” I persist. “We’ll have to meet with Derek and delete the videos.”

“So he can just get away with what he did?”

“Telling Dan isn’t just your choice to make,” I hiss. “Don’t touch me, Asher.”

He lowers his hand, looking hurt. I meantdon’t touch me,as in, people might see, and it’s too risky. It comes out sounding like the very idea of him laying a hand on me is repulsive on some fundamental level, as if I’m sickened by the concept of contact with my best friend’s brother.

I should be, but that’s never been the case.

“It’s time to shatter this fantasy,” he growls. “Don’t make me do this without your blessing.”

“I’d never forgive you if you did that,” I tell him. “You need to let me try to get Derek to back down. I should’ve guessed he’d try something like this.”

“None of this is your fault,” Asher says. “It’s mine. I should’ve known better.”

“Don’t say that. I’m not some naïve kid.”

“You’re a girl with a crush,” he says. “I’m older, more mature, experienced. I should’ve known better. I mean, hell, you’re avirgin.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I demand.

“It’s just an indicator of how much less experienced you are than me. I should’ve been mature from the beginning, but I made the mistake of not doing that. Now, I need to make a mature decision.”

I almost slam my hand against his chest. It’s only being in public that stops me. Only? Am I sure it doesn’t have something to do with how tempting he is, even now?

“Don’t tell Dan,” I plead. “Derek has tried to add me on socials several times. I’ll message him on there and ask to meet. We’ll both agree to delete the recordings. There’s a way out of this without ruining my brother’s life.”

“I can’t make any promises.”

“You can. You have to.”

Asher walks away. I almost scream at him. Suddenly, all the Christmas lights and the wintery atmosphere are out of my place.

I take out my phone and text him.

Me:I mean it, Asher. Don’t do it. You can’t do it without my permission. I meant what I said. I’ll never forgive you.

A minute later, he texts back.

Asher:Maybe you hating me is what we need. If you hate me, the temptation stops, the confusion stops. We won’t have to fight this battle constantly. Resisting each other won’t be an issue, not anymore.

Me:You’ll ruin my relationship with my brother. Can you live with that on your conscience?

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