Page 39 of Tempting All The Way

“I get it. You don’t have to worry. I won’t become like a stage-five clinger or anything, Xavier. We can be adults about this.”

“Shardonnay, shut up and sit down,” I say, my voice far more gruff than I intended it to be.

Her hands land on her hips and her lips tighten. “Say please,” she says.

“Pleasesit down so we can discuss things without someone jumping to conclusions. That someone being you.” I point to her.

“Fine,” she says, walking over to the couch and flopping down.

I take the seat next to Shardonnay, turning my body to face her. I don’t know why this is so fucking hard. I’ve had trials that have been less nerve-racking. I’ve come up with closing arguments that are nothing short of award-winning, yet telling Shardonnay how I feel, what I want us to be—well, I’ve got nothing. I’m speechless.

“Fuck, this is hard. I’ve never had to do this before, so bear with me here.” I run a hand through my hair.

“You’re making me nervous, Xavier. What is it?” Shardonnay asks.

I laugh at the irony. “Babe, you have no idea the nerves I have right now.” I look around the room, and my eyes land on the wet bar. “Do you want a drink?” I ask.

“Nope, just rip the Band-Aid off and say whatever it is you have to say. I can handle it, whatever it is.”

“I want this arrangement to not be an arrangement anymore,” I tell her. I watch as her reassuring smile falls. “No, that didn’t come out right. What I meant was… I want more. I want this.” I gesture between us. “To be more than just an arrangement. I want to… date? That doesn’t even seem like the right word. Um, I want us to be anusand only us. All the time.” I shut my mouth because I’m making such a fucking mess of this speech.

Shardonnay smiles. “You want to be my boyfriend, Xavier?” she asks.

“Yes.” I nod.

“What qualifications do you have for the position?” Her voice turns into her business tone, the one I hear her use while answering the phone at the office.

“I’m really good at holding your hair back while you throw up.” I shrug.

“Huh, I’m not so sure that you’ll be the best fit for the position. Have you ever been a boyfriend before? What’s your level of experience?” She smiles.

I know she’s playing a role here, but damn do I feel like I’m being put on the spot. “No, but there’s always a first time for everything, right?”

“Wait, seriously? You’ve never been in an actual relationship? Why?” Her eyebrows draw down in confusion.

“Well, for the past six years, I’ve been obsessed with my little sister’s best friend. I guess you could say I’ve been holding out for her.”

“You couldn’t stand me,” she says. “You were always so gruff and barely said two words to me every time I was at one of your family’s events.”

“I hated that I wanted you. First of all, you were so fucking young. And the fact that I wanted you, even then… I was disgusted with myself. I hated myself, not you.”

“You know I’m still a lot younger than you. We’re at such different places in life, Xavier. Do you honestly think this can work? Us being anus?”

“I have no doubt. It doesn’t matter what stage of life we’re at, Shardonnay. Whatever your dreams are, they’ll become my dreams. I will do anything to help you achieve all of the things you want to achieve.”

She stands and starts pacing the living room. “I’m not a charity case, Xavier. I don’t want your money. I don’t want you opening doors for me that wouldn’t normally be opened. I’ve worked for everything I have. I plan to get through life by doing that, by working hard.”

Guess I touched a sore spot. That’s something we’ll have to dig into further. At a later date. Because I have money. Money I plan to use to shower her with the finer things in life. She’s going to have to learn to accept it.

“Babe. Calm down. Relax. At no point have I ever thought of you as a charity case. And as for money, I don’t care if you don’t want it. I know you have things you want to accomplish, and when I say I will support you and do anything I can to help, that’s not me just offering to bankroll you or using my family name for your benefit. That’s me saying I will be here as your biggest cheerleader, supporting you in any way—every way you may need.” I walk over and wrap my arms around her. “That’s not to say Iwouldn’tgive you money or utilize my family connections if that’s what’s needed. All you have to do is say the word.”

Shardonnay has tears running down her cheeks. Using my thumb, I brush them away.

“Don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I’m not. I just… I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She sniffs.

“Well, shit, you must hang around real assholes if I’m coming across nice, babe.” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

---