Page 40 of Always Heated

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“Hey, bitch, I’m here,” Ingrid teases as she enters the bedroom as if I didn’t hear her whole conversation with Travis.

They’re right; I’m struggling. Without work, I have nothing, and my world has been turned upside down. I’m essentially a freeloader, crashing with my boyfriend, who I absolutely don’t deserve. I don’t remember the last time I took a shower. The best I’ve been able to do is brush my teeth, and even that’s a chore. If it wasn’t for Travis, I wouldn’t be eating.

“Hey,” I grumble, pulling the comforter over my head.

She tugs it back and climbs into bed with me, spooning me like Travis does. “I’m sorry I don’t have a cock. Will you settle for your best friend?” I turn in her arms and hug her tightly, fighting back my tears. “Fine, I guess I’ll work on growing a cock for you.”

Through a choked sob, I ask, “Will it be pierced?”

Ingrid strokes my hair, hugging me tighter. “So much metal.”

We lay there for a few minutes until I finally break the silence and admit, “I don’t deserve Travis. I should move back home and let him find someone special.”

“What the actual fuck are you talking about? Cass, I know you hide your depression from me, from everyone. But this is actual bullshit, and you know it.”

“I had a marriage pact with Travis. He’s trying to fulfill it.”

“Do you honestly think that?”

I take a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “No, but it’s easier than the guilt I feel.”

“When was your last therapy appointment?”

“Before the fire.”

“Cassidy Rogers!” she shrieks. “I love you, your family loves you, and that man out there has loved you since we were kids. It’s timeyoulove you. I can’t help you with that, and your antidepressants can only do so much. You need to work through it with someone who is impartial. Where is your phone?” I glance behind me to the bedside table where it’s plugged in. She tugs the charging wire out and gasps, “Sixty missed calls? Here. I need a passcode or a face recognition thing.” I unlock the phone and she scrolls for a minute. “Seven hundred emails? I get that most are spam but…”

I tug the comforter under my chin feeling worse than I did before. Who else did I let down? In my own head, I close my eyes, hoping sleep will take me away from it all.

“Okay, no more online therapists. You have an appointment tomorrow morning in person.”

My eyes fly open. “What?”

“You heard me. Tomorrow morning. And don’t you dare think you’re going to get out of it. I’ll make sure Travis knowswhen it is so you don’t miss it. But as far as the whole Travis not deserving you thing, it doesn’t matter. He loves you, he’s choosing you, and it’s about time you choose yourself.”

“I hate you,” I groan.

“No, you don’t. Now, let’s get you in the shower and dressed. Everyone is coming to the house, not only for you; Travis needs his family too. He’s hurting, just like you are.”

“That isn’t helping, Ingrid,” I deadpan.

“It’s the truth. Shower. Now. And, no, I’m not joining you for sex in there. You scarred your brother, by the way. Poor guy wanted to tell you dinner was ready and had to hear his sister and his best friend fucking.”

I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me. “Serves him right, or have you forgotten when I walked in on you two.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just a little anal.” She rolls her eyes. “I promise you don’t have to see everyone today if you’re not up for it, but you need to take a shower and change your clothes.”

“Fine,” I groan as she drags me out of bed.

Once in the shower, I’m numb. Letting the water wash away my tears, I grab the dark gray loofah to scrub myself until I’m clean. As I’m washing my hair, Ingrid calls to me from the other side of the sliding door, “Do you need a vibrator?”

“No.” I laugh for the first time in days. “Doyouneed one?”

“Wow! This thing has fourteen settings! Who needs fourteen? I only use thezzzzzzzzone.”

I laugh harder. “I’m more of azzz zzzzz zzzgirl.”

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