Page 36 of Storm

“Do you think you’ll find some time to come home for a visit this winter?”

“I’m not really sure. I’ve got some things going on here that may be pretty big, so we’ll have to play it by ear.” Sticking my tongue out, I concentrate to unlock Petal’s apartment door. Fucking Tatum has been on my ass lately, so my opportunities to be here haven’t been as often as I like. Visions of her bathroom sink fill my head and I grin, just knowing I won’t be able to restrain myself. I haven’t been able to yet.

My mom continues chatting as if she didn’t hear me. “I’m sure the Cadelles would love to see Tate as well. The two of you could fly back together. Kathy said that she’s barely spoken to him for months now.” I roll my eyes when the fake sniffles start up. “After you boys just up and left without a word, it’s like all of our worlds just stopped. We’d never been more scared, worried you boys would just DIE on the opposite side of the world.”

As soon as the door creaks open, I hold my phone again, shutting the door with my foot. “You all know exactly why weleft, and honestly mom, dying wouldn’t have been such a tragic fate at the time.”

Her gasp is loud, but I don’t have time to pretend like nothing ever happened. “That’s not fair! I did the best I could for you. I’m not sure why you feel the need to always throw it back in my face. You’ve always been like this, you know that? Ungrateful for the sacrifices I made when?—”

“When you decided to get drugged out with my abusive father to the point he overdosed, then shacked up with Mr. Cadelle on the side for money to fund your drug addiction? Is that the sacrifice you made for me? Or was it when you forced me to hide from my father by locking me in closets when he was raging, then forget about me so you could get your drug fix? You fucked my childhood and ruined the Cadelles’ home life. Why the fuck Kathy ever chose to stay with that man is insane to me.”

“Ezra,” she cries out, but there’s no real emotion behind it.

“No. You turned Tate’s dad into a mean, vile, disgusting pig of a man, and that home became a nightmare for my best friend. So, I promise you, Tate will definitely not be on board with coming home. I haven’t decided yet if I will because like I said, I’ve got something going on here I need to sort out.”

Needing to calm my anxiety down, I head into the bathroom first, bypassing her bedroom, which is normally my first stop. Snatching the loofa hanging from the faucet in the shower, I hold it to my nose and breathe in deeply. Her scent immediately fills my lungs, and my heart rate begins to slow.

Instead of responding to anything I’ve said, my mom, like always, focuses on the only thing that won’t make her feel like a piece of shit. “What do you have to sort?”

“Nothing you need to know about. I’m not going to share, anyway. I need to go.”

Ending the call, I take another few moments to continue calming and settling my mind with my mom’s voice still stuck inmy brain. Distractions are what I need right now. I gently rehang her loofa, then spin in the small bathroom to see if anything’s changed.

There’s a new tube of toothpaste on her sink, a different brand than she used to have. I open her cabinet and see nothing out of the ordinary, then squat in front of the lower cabinet and glance inside. A new package of toilet paper is now there, along with a larger stack of hand towels. She must have done laundry since I was here a few days ago. I love how meticulously she folds them, like in one of the home good stores.

The box of tampons is now shoved toward the back, the seal still unbroken. I frown and pull it out.Did she just replace her other box?Frowning, I place it back. Without shutting the doors, I lean to the side and grab her trash can and pull it to me. Sitting on my ass, I pick through the half full bin and find a plastic wrapper toward the bottom.

“What th—” My mouth falls open and I drop the package into my lap, staring with absolute disbelief. “Oh,mi pétalo, youhavebeen hiding something!”

Carefully, I pick the item up and slide the plastic out further. It’s a digital test and quite obviously says PREGNANT on the display screen.

Everything in my head silences, and I am frozen in my spot, eyes unblinking as I read the word over and over again. Eventually, the words blur and I realize my eyes have watered over. Touching my cheeks, I pull my hand away, finding tears shining on my fingertips.

“Huh?” I blink and more heated tear drops fall and I start to panic.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.I can’t take care of a baby!Oh Jesus, what if it’s mine?

Then, out loud, I say, “What if he’s messed up like me?”

My heart rate soars to the point of pain and I gasp for breath, shoving my fist hard against my sternum in an attempt to massage the ache away. Fumbling for my phone, I drop it twice before I’m able to hold it steady enough to call Tatum.

It just rings, then rings some more, then even longer.

“FUCK!” I scream out, slamming my palm against my forehead. “Think you fucking idiot!”

Kevin.

Dialing Kevin’s cell, I immediately start rambling the moment I hear the change in sound when he answers. “Kev! What if he’s messed up like me?” I cry into the phone. Without giving my friend a chance to answer. “There’s no way she can be safe on her own. The tamponshaven’t been USED!”

“Ezra, I need you to calm down. What’s going on?” His steady and sure temperament normally fills me with comfort, but not this time. I’m not an idiot. I know my head’s all messed up from deployments and my dad. My fucking dad.

I could be a fucking dad.

“Kev, what if I’m like my dad?” I choke out, then rub my palm into my eye and groan loudly.

He sighs into the phone, but not as if he’s annoyed with me. More like pity. I don’t want that either. “I’m not sure what that means to be like your dad, but Ez, I need to know if you’re safe right now. Have you called Tate?”

My shoulders fall. I’ve never filled anyone in on my dad, so of course he wouldn’t know. “Yeah,” I sniff, wiping my eyes and jumping to my feet. I hear noise toward the entrance of the apartment and pull my phone from my ear. “Shit, I’ve been here so long. I’m gonna make safety my first priority. I can fix him later if it comes to that.”

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