Page 50 of Muted

You left the ropes, you only played.

You left me broken, broken, afraid of flying,

Slowly dying, always crying, forever trying,

From your love, and from your pain,

Stayin silence, I’ll never speak your name.

Love and pain, their duet so divine,

You were to show me, you were to go slow with me,

You instead became my decline.

Love and pain, an intricate dance we share,

In you I found solace, in you I faced malice,

In your whispers, a tender snare.

You left me broken, broken, afraid of flying,

Slowly dying, always crying, forever trying,

From your love, and from your pain,

Stay in silence, I’ll never speak your name.

I… I did not expect that. My thumb slides on the screen to go back to the top, where I read through once more. Then again. I go for a fourth, but her text message notification covers the line I’m trying to read.

Susu: It’s not done yet. You’re quiet… is it awful?

Me: Shh… I’m re-reading it.

Susu: LOL

I read twice more, then respond. It doesn’t matter what topic she’s chosen to write about and share with me, but I need to know if this is personal or just her imagination.

I’m not sure how to feel if it’s personal.

Me: Can I ask you a question?

Susu: Umm… sure? I’m sort of hating that you aren’t giving me any kind of reaction right now.

Me: I will. But answer my question first. Did you write this from experience?

Susu: Parts of it. I had the big feelings.

The big feelings. Love and pain. Her poem hints that the source of the pain was sexual in nature. Is that what she means, as well as the emotional pain? That part is obvious, but I don’t want to assume.

Me: He hurt you?

Susu: Yes.

Me: Emotionally or physically?

Susu: Yes.

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