Page 4 of Muted

I look down at Susanna, relieved that she’s still out cold. Damn, she can really sleep through anything, and I appreciate Walston is keeping his voice low.

“Your granddaughter, yes. She’s been alone in her home for quite a few days, but it sounds like she’ll be okay. Obviously exhausted.”

His nose wrinkles almost imperceptibly, but I catch the look of disgust before he schools his features. “She’s… incredibly dirty. Why haven’t they bathed her yet?”

My irritation grows, causing my voice to come out sharper than it should. “Susanna went through an ordeal and is a bit attached at the moment. Nothing a little bath won’t take care of. She’s a sweet girl.”

He drags his eyes away from her and zeroes on me, his gaze still ice cold. “I’m sure she is,” he states. “Where is the mother?”

“Missing.” I don’t care for the way he’s asking his questions so clinically, like they aren’t real people to him.

Crossing his arms, he scoffs. “That woman is trash. I’m not surprised. She’s probably out getting high, whoring herself to whomever will give her a fix. Who do I need to speak to? I will take the child home with me.”

I shake my head quickly. “Just got off the horn with my captain. Her aunt is on her way here. She’s next of kin.”

“More trash,” he mutters under his breath. “Suit yourself. If you think they should place a child in a home that’s low income rather than one that can provide for her above her means, then suit yourself.” Arthur Walston buttons the sleeves of his shirt, then runs his hand down the front of his jacket, never looking toward the sleeping girl again. “You all have my number if you need me.”

With that, he turns and exits the room. The door doesn’t fully shut before it flies open again. A haggard woman comes running in, wild-eyed, as she looks around until her shoulders fall with relief as she finds Susanna sleeping in my arms. A pot-bellied man follows her, winded and wiping the sheen of sweat from his forehead.

“Susanna!” the woman cries, startling the little girl awake. “Oh my God!”

She lurches forward, scrambling to grab her from me, but Susanna starts crying, overwhelmed by the chaotic way this woman ran in here.

Holding her tighter, I stop the woman before she tries to pull Susanna away from me. “Are you Elaine? The aunt?”

Elaine doesn’t take her eyes away from Susanna, but she nods her head quickly, causing the tears to fall freely. “Yes. Yes, I am. This is my husband, Ronnie. Ronnie Fisher. My God, Susanna. I haven’t seen you since you were just a baby. Look at you, sweet girl. You’re so big!”

Susanna’s still crying, looking at her aunt through squinted, puffy eyes as she tries to understand what’s happening. “M-Momma?”

Elaine finally looks up at me. “My sister and I look a lot alike. We always have.” She turns to Susanna with a watery smile. “No, baby. I’m your Aunty Elaine. Can I hold you?” Her voice is pleading, and she holds her hands out to her, but Susanna leans away and buries herself deeper into the crook of my arm.

I can see the hurt flicker across Elaine’s face, but she keeps her smile plastered on as she sucks in a deep breath.

“Have you already met with—” I start to ask, but Ronnie answers before I’ve gotten the question out.

“We met with them downstairs already. We signed all the paperwork, and they said we can take her home once she’s been cleared and discharged. Thank you, Officer…” He trails off, asking for my name.

Clearing my throat, I soak in the way Susanna is clinging to me. “Cooper. Officer Kevin Cooper. Thank you for getting here so quickly. Looks like she’ll be in good hands until we find her mother.”

Elaine chews on her lip and looks at Ronnie. “I-I don’t know where she’s at. I haven’t spoken to my sister in over a year. They asked us, but… but I just don’t know what to tell them.”

“We’ll figure it out.” I blow out my relief slowly and then look down at Susanna Walston. “Susanna, honey. I’m going to give you to your Aunty Elaine. You’ve been such a big girl and I’m very proud of you.”

I know she doesn’t understand what I’m saying, and when I pull my arms away to tug her arms gently from my body, she cries harder, fighting to keep hold of me.

It feels as if a knife slams into my gut when I pull her free and forcibly have to remove her from me, helping Elaine take hold of her flailing body. Her screams pierce my chest, and the guilt fucking eats me alive.

“If you have any questions, you have my name and can reach me at the station. I’ll be available.” I ignore the way Susanna fights Elaine, who’s trying to whisper comforting words to the child.

Standing up, I shake hands with Ronnie before turning my back on the little girl and making my way to the door. Saying goodbye will only hurt her more and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to walk away if I don’t leave right now.

Rolling my shoulders back to ease my stress, I shut the door on the sound of her sobs begging me to come back. I don’t turn around. I force myself to keep walking toward the exit of the hospital, one foot in front of the other. The sound of my boots echoing through the vacant hallways as I pass through them.

They tell us when we get into this job not to get attached.

Today, I got attached.

Tomorrow, I’ll forget about her.

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