Page 28 of Muted

Me: I don’t talk to a lot of people either, so I get that.

Susu: I find that sad. Why don’t you talk to people?

Literally what I just thought. I smile as I quickly text back, and then enjoy the next twenty minutes of our back and forth. I like that she wants to know about me, almost as much as I want to know about her.

Me: Eh… I have friends but not everyone gets me, so when I’m not working, I tend to keep to myself. Outside of Chaz I mean.

Susu: Chester.

Me: LOL. Yes, Chester.

Susu: Why don’t people get you?

Me: I was in the military for a while, so not everyone knows how to react or talk to me about that. It’s more that I find it difficult to find things in common with people to talk about, so I like to keep to myself.

Susu: Are you different now than you were before you joined the military?

Me: Yes and no… I’m still the same person, but people are either afraid to ask me about my service, or they think that I’ve changed since I got back and don’t try to relate. Obviously, I’m different in some ways, but I think that comes with getting older as well as what I went through.

Susu: Everybody changes as they get older. I wish that wasn’t so hard for you.

Me: *snort* hard for you…

I cringe the moment I send that text but laugh out loud when I read her response.

Susu: *roll eyes* Apparently you’re still young in some ways.

Me: You said it, not me.

Susu: For 35, you sound a lot like 15…

Me: I have no shame. Tell me something about yourself.

Susu: Like what?

Me: Something you’ve never told anyone.

Susu: You first…

I debate what I want to say and decide to get more personal with her. The worst that could happen is she’ll end the conversation and it’ll just be another reason for me to text her tomorrow to apologize. The best? She’ll open up. Win-win.

Me: Hmmm…. I haven’t had sex since just after I was discharged from the military. It’s been almost two years.

Susu: Is that by choice?

I didn’t expect that question and need to stop being so surprised every time she says something different than what most would.

Me: For the most part. I haven’t found anyone I want to fuck for a while.

Me: Your turn.

Susu: You’re asking me the last time I had sex?

Me: LOL. You’re more than welcome to tell me, but I meant it’s your turn to share something.

Susu: Umm… I write song lyrics. Well, I write poetry with music in my head, so to me, they’re song lyrics.

Me: That’s something you’ve never told anyone before?

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