Page 27 of Muted

Me: That’s fair.

Me: Will you tell me why you don’t talk?

Susu: Ask me something else.

Damn. Luckily, my question didn’t upset her enough that she wants to stop talking. I decide to test my luck and push again.

Me: Okay… will you tell me if it’s for a specific reason or because you have a stutter or something?

Susu: Reasons.

Me: But you don’t want to tell me what those reasons are?

Susu: Not particularly. They’re MY reasons.

Me: Did someone hurt you?

I ask that last question quickly, a sick feeling rolling in my gut. Clearly there’s something in her past that’s affected her enough that she stopped fucking talking. Even though I don’t know what that thing is, it’s not a far stretch to realize that people don’t stop speaking when somethinggoodhappens.

Plus, shortly after I met her and started contemplating why she’s silent, I may have done a few internet searches and everything that I read screamedtrauma.

Me: I ask because I looked up reasons someone wouldn’t talk, and one of those reasons was because something happened to them, and they decided not to speak anymore.

Maybe if she knows that I’m not just asking out of curiosity, but that there is some level of care, she’ll change her mind. Susu’s stubbornness, though, is solid. I respect her that much more for sticking to her guns and not letting me persuade her. What she doesn’t know is that I’m just as stubborn.

Susu: Ask me something else.

Me: Alright… but will you eventually tell me?

Susu: Not today.

Me: Will you at least tell me if you’re safe?

I’m not sure why I asked that, but her lack of response raises my hackles.

Is she actually in danger? What the hell could have happened to a girl that young to put her in danger?

I press her to answer.

Me: Susu? Tell me you’re safe…

Susu: I’m safe.

Me: That took you a while to answer. Are you busy or falling asleep?

Susu: Not busy anymore. I had to take a shower and get ready for bed.

My cock twitches for the first time tonight when she mentions she was in the shower.

Fuck me, I bet she’s sexy as hell dripping wet, strands of wet hair clinging to her breasts.Christ, I need to get laid.

My head just spun a complete 180 over one text. I scan through everything we’ve just said and question her tone.Is it creepy to her that I’m texting her this late at night?I don’t want to keep responding if she’s only humoring me.

Me: Does it bother you that I’m texting you this late?

Susu: No. Truthfully, it’s nice. I don’t get to talk to a lot of people very often. If I’m awkward, I’m sorry… I’m not used to it.

Well,that’sfucking adorable and also really sad.Goddamnit Susu, why are you breaking my heart here?I want her to know that I understand that feeling. It’s not just her self-imposed silence that can create that sense of loneliness. Lots of people, for a multitude of reasons, can feel the same way.

---