Page 20 of Muted

Turning my phone in my hand, I eventually open it up and find Susu’s number in my contacts. I check the time and realize it’s been almost two hours since she left the bar. I ignore the warning that I shouldn’t bother her at this time of night and open up a new text thread.

Me: Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you sounded really great tonight.

When I notice I’m holding my breath, I exhale noisily, tempted to go back a minute to remind myself I’mnotfourteen years old. Once my message delivers, I stare at the screen, waiting for those text bubbles to show up.

I’m just about to shut my screen off and roll over to sleep when they dance across the bottom. It’s ridiculous, but I actually feel my cock jerk under my sheets.What the fuck, dick? They’re DOTS.

Finally, her text pops up. It’s shorter than I expected compared to the amount of time she was responding. I purse my lips, realizing that she must have written something, deleted it, then sent this.

I don’t leave her hanging as long with my response.

Susu: Oh… Thank you. :)

Me: How long have you been playing piano?

Her answer comes quicker this time, thank God.

Susu: I started lessons when I was 7.

Me: Shit, that’s young. How old are you now?

Susu: 23

My thumb hesitates over the keyboard, unsure what I should say back.Fuck… seriously? Twenty-three?I knew she was young, but I honestly ignored that and just assumed she was older. But reading the number and establishing as a fact that I’m fuckingtwelveyears older than her makes me feel like a slimy piece of shit. My goddamn cock doesn’t seem to care, fully hard after her second text. I’m still debating what to say when her next text comes through.

Susu: You?

Me: I’m 35… quite a bit older than you.

Just the feeling I get from writing that out tells me exactly what I need to remember. Iamquite a bit older than her. She’s just starting out and I’m fucking jaded, settled into my life now.

I know that this doesn’t mean anything, but I’m honest enough with myself to admit when I’m interested in someone. This needs to be halted in its tracks immediately before I do or say something I regret.

Quickly, I type out another text as those damn bubbles dance across the screen, teasing me with her answer. Both of our texts show up at the exact same time.

Me: I should let you go. I just wanted to tell you I enjoyed listening to you play tonight. You’re very good.

Susu: Is that important? To text me, I mean?

Fuck, I don’t know how to answer that question.Isit important? It’s not important if I was simply texting her with no ulterior motive, but my dick and my head both know that I want to engage with her in some way beyond just this.

Holy shit. This is the first time I’ve actually ‘talked’ with this woman!I barely have time to process that not only are we communicating, but it’s probably nice for her too, when her next text comes through.

Susu: Oh, okay. Thank you again. Have a nice night.

I can practicallyhearthe disappointment in her tone. She doesn’t push me to answer her questions. She doesn’t push to continue talking.

Susu accepts that I’m ending the talk without another word, so to speak.

I type out the only thing I know I should say.

Me: You too.

My internal voice immediately tears me down for it, too.Asshole.

Chapter 6

Pisco Sour

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