Page 84 of Laugh

“Sorry, pumpkin. I’m just feeling out of sorts tonight. How have you been?”

Fake. It’s all so fake and he’s only changing his tune to put up a front.

“I don’t want to talk about how I’ve been doing, but we need to talk about some things that are going to change moving forward.”

Am I nervous about confronting him like this? Absolutely, I am. There’s never going to be a good feeling when you know that the words you’re going to say will hurt someone. I also can’t let myself be hurt anymore by giving in and rolling over just to make other people happy. Especially a person who I truly don’t like.

“What are you talking about, pumpkin? Change what?” He’s confused, but he wouldn’t be if he would ever take a moment to hear me.

With a deep breath, I say what I need to say with just enough gentleness to soften the blow, but also while staying firm.

“I won’t be coming to dinners anymore.” I hold a hand up when his brows immediately furrow, and he goes to argue. “I can’t be around her any longer. I justcan’t, dad. She’s manipulative, mean, and cruel. With every comment she offers up as pretend advice, it’s laced with gaslighting undertones and meant to make me feel guilty. I’ve shown you the texts. I’ve told you what she’s said to me. Yet you continue to urge me to ‘make nice’ and try to understandherfeelings while ignoring my own.”

“Haddie, I’m not wrong to want you two to get along with each other. Debbie has always tried to be there for you and loves you like her own flesh and blood.” It’s the same rhetoric that he always spouts, and I’m just over it.

Shaking my head sadly, I whisper, “No, she doesn’t. She holds you hostage to get what she wants, and she uses me to do it. Every time I cave and apologize for standing up for myself becauseyouasked me to, it takes a piece of me and gives it to her. She’s emotionally abusive toward the both of us by holding your happiness over my head. I refuse to live like that anymore.”

My dad stands up and moves closer to me, desperate to make me understand him. “No, that’s not what she does. Sure, sometimes she may say things in anger, but it’s never with intentions to actually hurt you. She’s got a beautiful heart, and I wish you could see that.”

“Dad,” I beg him, fighting off the tears that want to build, but I refuse to cry. “I wish you could see what she’s doing to you. You’re not happy, and you’re always wanting me to fix things foryou. Soyoucan have peace in your marriage with her. That’s not my job.”

He seems angry, but doesn’t know what to say to argue with me. Donny Byer doesn’t handle confrontation well. It takes him time to sit and process it out, then discuss it for hours with his wife until the two of them, together, can justify their behavior. That’s when he comes back with a defense that’s almost impossible to argue with.

“Listen, I don’t want to lose my relationship with you, but we need to try something different. A new normal.” Swallowing deeply, I continue. I know my brothers and Beau are listening, but thankfully, nobody interjects to tell me I’m overreacting. “I can’t be here anymore, not in this house. I can’t be aroundheranymore. Frankly, I don’t know if I can handle Amber, at least not right now, but I’m not including her in this.”

Dad isnothappy with me right now and I’m sure his mind is whirling on how to convince me to back off and persuade me I’m being ridiculous.

“I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing, Haddie,” he grumbles, refusing to agree.

“No, she’s not, dad,” Matthew pipes in. “Debbie is terrible to her and you’re incredibly judgmental because of Debbie’s opinions.”

Beau hasn’t moved away from me, but when his hand slides up my back to rest at the base of my neck, I glance up at him. He’s not glaring at my dad, but he is giving himthat look. “It took me twenty minutes in your presence to see it, Donny. Open your eyes and see what’s going on around you.”

My dad looks affronted by Beau’s words, and he stands up straighter. “So, what? What are you going to do? You’re my damn daughter. I’m not going to be okay with not being involved in your life.”

Shrugging, I tell him truthfully, “I have no idea. But I’m not going to come back here. We can talk on the phone as much as you want,which, by the way, works both ways. You’re perfectly capable of picking it up and calling me. We can meet for lunches or dinners and you’re welcome at my home anytime you want.”

He opens his mouth and I hold up a finger. “Butshewill not come with you. I’m done with her, dad. I’m serious and I need you to hear me. No more contact, no more lengthy text messages, no more accusations and blaming me for things that aren’t my fault.”

“But she’s my wife.” It’s his only defense and I feel bad, like I’m making him choose between us. I’m not. I’m just asking him for a relationship that doesn’t involve her.

“She is, but you have to understand. Her feelings are not my responsibility. Not when I was ten and not now. Your marriage isn’t either. That’s between the two of you.” Beau squeezes my neck gently, showing me he’s proud of me for saying all of this.

Dad is quiet, his eyes moving over my face. I assume, to see if I’m going to cave and take it all back. “I love you very much. We’re going to get out of here and Iamsorry for any hurt I’ve caused you. I don’t want that, even though I feel it needed to be said. Let’s work on our new normal and figure things out. I’ll call you.”

Stepping closer, I wrap my arms around his waist, squeezing my eyes shut when he doesn’t immediately return the gesture. After a moment, I feel his arms come around me and I sigh against him.

“I don’t like this,” he whispers into my hair.

I nod my head quickly in agreement. “Neither do I, but we’ll figure it out.”

“Love you, pumpkin.”

Pulling away, I give him a watery smile. It’s small, but I want him to know that Idolove him. “I love you too. We’ll talk soon.”

Quickly, I make my way over to my brothers and whisper my thanks for their mostly silent support and tell them I’ll call them later. Alexander promises to fill me in on the rest of the evening’s antics, but I shake my head.

“I don’t need to know.” And I really don’t. If I want this change, I can’t worry about what happens when we leave. “Love you guys,” I say, looking around them. Then tilt my head to the door for Beau, letting him know we can go now.

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