Page 70 of Laugh

“I’m going to be mad at you all day. Just… be prepared for that,” I warn, then sigh as I let the heat of the pulsing spray beat down on my tense muscles. “But God, this feels almost as good. Go away, I need to shower.”

With a laugh, he steps out and I take my time washing my hair and body,notthinking about how freaking awful today is going to be. Once I’m out, Beau and I move silently between the bathroom and his bedroom in companionable silence while we both get ready. Then, we’re on the road before the clock hits eight am.

I’m anxious to get to the hospital. I know where I’m going, so I don’t need to waste time trying to ask someone for information on Marcus. His parents got him transferred to the new hospital, which is only an extra twenty-minute drive. Beau took me over late last night so I could say goodnight and make sure his mom and dad had everything they needed for the long night ahead of them.

My heart is breaking for the two of them. Watching and waiting for your child to pass away has got to bethemost horrific moment of any parent’s life. Just the thought makes bile rise in the back of my throat. I appreciate them so much for allowing me to be involved in this private moment with them. They’ve always treated me like one of their own and the fact that they have kept me included the entire time means more to me than they’ll ever know.

Beau parks in front of the entrance and lets his car idle as he leans over to give me a much less heated kiss goodbye. This one is more comforting, and I’m already blinking back tears when I reach for the handle to get out of the car.

“Happy,” Beau calls to me, his voice quiet and filled with understanding.

When I look back at him, his eyes are studying me to see where my head is at. My smile is brittle, but I’m able to keep it there.

His smile is warm when his eyes soften. “We’ll get through this, baby. I won’t be long at my meeting and I’ll be back here right away. Text me if you need anything between now and then. I’ll even buy you snacks.”

My giggle is watery, and this time my smile is honest. Quickly moving forward, I kiss his chin. “I think I need a cupcake.”

With a sharp nod and a chin lift for me to get out of the car, he hurries me off. “Cupcake it is.”

As I get out, I lean my head down before I shut the door and tell him, “Thanks for being incredible. You’re incredible, do you know that? Best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

With a snort, he waves off my compliment. “I’m the only one you’ve had, but I like that I have that claim. Now go. Let me know how things are going when you get up there.”

“Bye, Cap,” I whisper, then shut the door. I wait until he’s pulled away before I turn and look up at the massive building, anxious to get in there, but also not ready to take that step inside.

One foot in front of the other. Beau will be here soon. Marcus is upstairs.

With that unhelpful little pep talk, I repeat it in my head as I ignore everyone passing me in the hall. Until I find myself knocking quietly on the door to Marcus’s assigned room. The door is cracked, and I can hear movement, so I peek my head in and find both Momma B and Mr. O’Brien sitting inside.

Mr. O’Brien is leaning back in his chair with his head leaned against the wall, eyes locked on Marcus, who’s sleeping in the bed. My eyes fill again when I find Momma B asleep next to my friend. Her head is laid on the bed near his knee and his hand is gripped under hers.

She doesn’t move as I come in closer to check on Marcus. He doesn’t seem to have changed much since last night. There’s no tension in his face, and he’s actually snoring.Snoringlike he hasn’t a care in the world where he’s at right now.

“He had a good night.” Looking back, I take in Mr. O’Brien’s haggard face. My breath blows out in a whoosh. I stroke my finger down the side of Marcus’s face, but he doesn’t react to my touch, then tiptoe to the empty chair and settle in next to my second dad.

Leaning my head on his shoulder, we both sit in silence and watch the two of them sleep. “How areyoudoing?” I whisper, not commenting on his quick intake of breath.

I can hear his teeth grinding as he works through his feelings, trying to answer. My eyes close in pain when he admits softly, “I can’t fix him. I can’t fix him forher.” His head tilts toward his wife. “It’s not right. A mother should never have to bury her child.”

Sniffing, I try my best to rein in my emotions so I can be here for him as he shares what he views as his failure. “Neither should a father,” I tell him. His body shakes, silently crying over my words. I have literallyneverseen this man cry.

“I just have to tell myself that this isn’t forever. Ihaveto believe that there’s something after all this because I can’t imagine the thought that we’ll never see him again. Heaven sounds like a good place for that boy.” His voice cracks at the end, causing Mrs. B to stir where she’s been lying for God knows how long.

Hiccupping back a cry, I nod my head rapidly, praying that he’s right. This time, there’s no hiding my tears from him when I whisper, “Heaven seems like theperfectplace for him.”

Momma B gets up and stretches her back, taking a moment to straighten up Marcus’s blankets before coming over to us to give me a hug. “Morning, sweet girl.”

“Good morning. You guys want me to go grab you anything? Coffee? Water? I can go get some breakfast from the cafeteria. I’m sure it’s still open, even though their food probably sucks. Powdered eggs arenotthe breakfast of champions, in my opinion.”

Grinning down at me, she cups my face and thumbs away the tears still on my cheek. “We’re fine, dear. Would you mind terribly if we ran home for about an hour or so? I think we’re both due for a shower and clean clothes.”

“Absolutely. Wait, what should I do? Do I need to know anything?” I look frantically over at Marcus, but he hasn’t moved. He’s still snoring like a trucker. I can’t wait to tease him because that man has always sworn up and down that he doesn’t snore.

I sit up as Mr. O’Brien stands, groaning when his back and knees crack after sitting in the same spot for so long. “The doctors have already been in this morning. He was agitated earlier this morning, so they’ve given him some morphine to help with that. There’s no timeline for this, but call us if anything changes and we’ll come right back.”

“Alright,” I say softly, my eyes locked on my best friend, and I find that I’m afraid to move closer to him. I drag my eyes away to look up at them. “Should I talk to him?”

“Yes, honey. I think that would be lovely.”

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