Page 26 of Laugh

“So chivalrous, but I’m a big girl. Thank you, though.” I’m really liking this nice thing he’s got going on, and I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

It’s not long before we’re settled at the table with his players, and elbow’s deep in work when I feel my phone vibrating. Beau’s eyes flick up to mine and he frowns when I pull it out of my bag. Smiling sheepishly, I turn in my seat to face away from everyone as I answer. It’s my dad, so Ihaveto answer.

“Hey, dad. I’m at the library, so I can’t really talk. What’s up?”

I can hear Beau redirecting the guys to give me a moment without ears listening in.

“Hey, pumpkin. I don’t mean to bother you while you’re working, but I feel like I need to address something with you sooner rather than later.”

Closing my eyes against what’s coming, I let out an inaudible sigh and can feel my shoulders dropping. “What new life lesson does Deborah want you to educate me with this time?”

Dad sighs heavily into the phone. “We need to discuss how you speak to her. She’s been your mom for most of your life–”

“Stepmom,” I interrupt.

“This is what I’m talking about. Just because she didn’t give birth to you doesn’t mean she hasn’t been filling the hole that your mom left in our family. When you continue to point out that she’s not your mom, it’s hurtful and, frankly, extremely insensitive. She loves you like you’re her own daughter. When I married her, she became a part of the family. Your constant reminder that she’s not your mother tears her apart every single time.”

“Dad. That’s not at all what happened on our call. She called to scold me for not pulling my weight like my ‘perfect’ sister. Then belittled my job, mycareer, like I’m simply wasting my time. Can you just take a minute and put yourself in my shoes? All I ever hear from her are insults designed to sound like helpful advice while pointing out how she thinks I’m failing. It’salwaysbeen like that. I’ve told you this. You act like you hear me when I try to explain. Then the moment you two sit down to discuss, she twists everything around to victimize herself and justify her bad behavior. How do you not see it?”

“Pumpkin, I thinkyouneed to take a minute and put yourself inhershoes. You need to stop bringing up your mom to her. Debbie feels like you do it intentionally, and it makes her feel like she’ll never compare in your eyes. It’s inappropriate, if nothing else.”

I’m so furious right now, I ignore the fact that my voice is rising, allowing the men around me to hear my humiliating argument with my father. “That’s fucking bullshit!”

“Language, Haddie. I’m your father and I don’t appreciate you speaking to me like this. I’m trying to be open and honest with you. These are things we should be able to discuss,” he scolds.

I fight off the tears that are forming and swallow back the lump in my throat. It’s impossible to get him to understand how I feel or to get him to even believe me. Deborah has manipulated him and got him all twisted up inside to such a degree that now he’s begun to think just like her.

“Why won’t you ever take my side? Why can’t you dig down deep and find just an iota of compassion formyfeelings about her?” I hate the way my voice wobbles when I choke out my last plea.

“Pumpkin, it’s not like that. I care about your feelings. This is why I’m calling you. We need to come up with a way for you two to get along. Maybe some one-on-one time where the two of you do something together. Bond over something you both have in common. She has such a kind heart. I wish you could see that. This battle between the two of you is putting a strain not just on our relationship, but mine and Debbie’s as well.”

Dad is pleading with me now. I have to fight my decision to stand firm to make a point that I refuse to roll over and give in, or deal with the guilt that he’ll have to suffer when she doesn’t get what she wants.

A warm hand in the center of my back jerks me back to reality, and I flush with embarrassment when I realize that I’m freaking crying in the middle of my workplace. In front of four football players and their coach, a man I just convinced myself I need to keep my cool around.

Beau’s deep frown doesn’t hold any ridicule or censure over my emotional display, thank God. There’s compassion behind his eyes when he wipes a stray tear from my cheek and he mouths, “Are you okay?”

Shaking my head at him, I scan the table and notice that his guys aren’t actually still sitting with us. The tables are cleared off like they were never there. Confused, I look back up at him. “Where’d they go?”

“Haddie? Who are you talking to? Where did who go?” my dad asks, muffled against my ear. Ignoring him, I wait for Beau to answer me.

“We wrapped things up, and I told them to finish up on their own since we’ll be meeting again in a few days.”

“God, I’m so sorry for this.” I’m horrified and kick myself in the ass for not just stepping away when I answered.Who does that?

“Haddie!” my dad barks into the phone. Holding a finger up to Beau, I decide I’m not going to let Deborah dictate my actions any longer.

“Dad, I need to go. I shouldn’t have answered to begin with because I’m working, so I’ll make this quick. Irefuseto stand by and let you make me feel guilty for the difficulties in your marriage with her because she doesn’t like something I said or did. I’ll make an attempt to not be rude, but that’s all you’re getting from me. What I will not do is stand by and let her make me feel like less of a person because I’m not the perfect daughter in her eyes. I willneverconsider her as a replacement for my mom. She never has been and never will be. I need to go. I love you.”

Guilt crashes through me when I hang up on my father. He’s not a bad guy, just misguided, and I hate hurting him.

A chill runs through my body for a completely different reason when Beau circles his palm on my back once more. Running it up to my shoulder, he lightly presses down then lets me go. “Come on, happy girl, let’s get out of here.”

My breath hitches when he calls me that, because I really don’t feel happy right now. Nodding quickly, I gather my things and shove them into my bag. This time, Beau doesn’t let me carry my things. He takes the bag by the straps and throws them over his shoulder and waits for me to walk ahead of him.

Once we’re in his car, he asks, “Do you still feel up for a side trip this afternoon or would you rather me just take you home?”

I’m so disappointed in myself because I know this is my only chance to spend any kind of time with him outside of working, but I just can’t. I’m on the verge of a complete breakdown and I need my pillows and wine and sappy shows before I dissolve into a fit of tears.

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