Page 75 of Laugh

I blink away my tears and mouth, “Thank you,” to my mom, who smiles while shushing the woman I can tell she’s already considering her own.

Without letting Haddie go, mom slides further on the bed and leans against the headboard to hold Haddie as she quietly cries against her. I can’t stay away any longer, wanting to hold both women who mean the world to me.

I crawl onto the other side of her and wrap an arm around my mom’s shoulder and Haddie’s waist. Mom leans her head on my shoulder as she silently cries along with her. After some time, when I think Haddie is asleep between the two of us, I roll my head to the side to study my mom. She has her eyes closed, but I know she’s not asleep.

“Thank you for coming, mom. I think this was good.”

“I’ll always be here for you two, honey. I feel so awful that you both are going through this. It’s never an easy thing to experience, and it sounds like he was much too young. But you’re never ready, no matter the age.”

Haddie doesn’t move, but her sweet voice interrupts us. “Can I tell you about him? About my friend, I mean?”

Mom chuckles softly and runs a firmer hand across Haddie’s head. “Oh, please do. I’d love to hear everything about him! Then I’ll get to learn a bit more about you as well.”

Haddie lifts herself off us quickly at that, looks at me with frantic eyes, and pushes her hair off her face. “Oh myGod!Beau, I met your mom and I look likeshit!” Then a look of horror crosses her face and she whispers, “I just swore in front of your mom. Fuck….Fuck!Why won’t I stop?” she cries out loudly.

Bursting out in laughter, I hold my stomach as I let all the pent-up stress flow out of me. I love that she just panicked over something so trivial.

Haddie’s face turns bright red with embarrassment as she glares at me, wiping the tears from her face. “It’s not freaking funny, Beau.”

Giggling, mom pats her on the arm and shoves my arm in annoyance. “My son’s an ass, dear. But you look beautiful to me, and you can’t say anything I haven’t heard before. Thankfully, he’s a good boy and listens to his mom. So, he’s going to get his butt out of here and make us some lunch. We’ll talk all about you, your life, your friend, and I’m going to dig for information about the two of you together.”

“Oh. God.” The sound of panic in her voice has the chuckles that were dying down erupt again. Haddie kicks me in the side until I move off the bed.

“I’m going,” I say through snickers. “Mom, don’t scare her away. I want to keep her.”

Haddie’s glare at me softens, and her lip quirks up slightly on one side. It’s not a laugh, but it’s a start. Hurrying out to the kitchen, I throw together as much food as I can, adding anything to the table that I think Haddie might want to eat. Her appetite has been next to nothing since we left the hospital, and I’m eager to feed her.

When I can hear the two of them softly talking in my bedroom, I slow down and take my time. I give them some much needed privacy as Haddie shares her heartache with my mom, and mom gets to know the girl I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with. Admitting that to myself brings a smile to my face. As I study the spread of food I’ve laid out, I nod once before heading back to them to announce lunch is ready.

Haddie is bundled up in a pair of leggings and one of my sweatshirts that’s about four sizes too big on her, but she hasn’t looked more beautiful than she does right now. Her eyes are still red and there are dark circles under them. Her hair is a mess, and she doesn’t have one ounce of makeup on her face. But there’s this small little area between her brows that looks less stressed, more relaxed. Like she’s been able to let go of a tiny bit of the pain she’s been feeling throughout her entire body.

We take our time eating lunch, Haddie eventually quieting as she tires from the past few hours with mom’s visit. My mom, bless her, takes over the conversation, sharing terrible stories of me in an attempt to lighten the mood. My girl doesn’t laugh, not yet… but the smiles start to come a little easier when she hears something extra ridiculous.

I’m about ready to call it a night when Haddie’s phone rings. She looks at the screen where it’s lighting up next to her and blows out a breath.

“It’s Mrs. O’Brien,” she tells me, not making a move to answer.

“Would you like me to answer for you?” I know she’ll feel bad if she doesn’t take the call, but I can tell she’s not ready for it.

Mom reaches a hand out and rests it on top of Haddie’s. “You should answer, sweetheart.”

With a deep breath, Haddie slides the answer button and puts the phone to her ear. “Hi Momma B. How are you doing?”

She listens for a moment and looks over at me the longer Mrs. O’Brien speaks. I can hear her voice through the phone, but not what she’s asking.

Finally, she nods slowly and answers. “I’d be honored to. Are you sure you only want me? You or Mr. O’Brien won’t want to speak?”

Another pause and she closes her eyes slowly, a tear slipping free, but my girl holds herself together. “Thank you, Momma B. I’d love to. Is there anything else you need? Anything I can do?”

Tilting my head to the side, I try to ask her what’s going on, but she holds a finger up to give her a moment. “Alright. Give my love to Mr. O’Brien. You guys hang in there and I’ll see you on Saturday, unless you need anything before then. Love you… bye.”

Mom and I give her a minute to mull over her conversation, then she looks up, finding me. “They want me to speak at his service. She said that since I knew him better than anyone else, I’ll be able to share with everyone who he was.”

“I heard you ask about them speaking. They aren’t going to?” I’m happy for her to get to talk about him, but also worried that this is going to drive her back into her dark place.

Shaking her head slowly, she says, “No. She said they want to just listen and use that time to say goodbye with everyone else. They want to keep it simple.”

With a squeeze to gain her attention, Haddie looks at mom when she asks, “How do you feel about that? Is this something you’ll be comfortable doing?”

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