Page 72 of Laugh

Beau picks me up like I weigh nothing and weaves us out of the room, trying to stay out of the way as more bodies flow into the room. The moment we’re out and in the spacious waiting room, the noise all stops. All I can hear is my heavy breathing and the pounding of Beau’s heart against my ear. Setting me down to my feet, he keeps his arms circled around me as I wrap my head around what just happened.

“Baby…” he says, trailing off, unsure what to say.

Then I hear Momma B’s agonized cry, cutting through the silence and ripping apart my heart. I sink to my knees with a strangled scream burning my throat. Feeling nothing but hurt and Beau’s arms as he sinks down with me, never letting me go.

Chapter 27

Grief is Real

Beau

You’d think that when someone passes away, there would be a lot that happens afterwards. But there’s this moment where you’re all just together in a waiting room with no direction, and no idea what you should be doing. The whole event is just… final.

Haddie, my happy girl, is irrevocably broken right now. I feel sick over the fact that I can’t take this loss away from her. There’s no making this better. No jokes I can tell her, no distraction I can provide, no bringing Marcus back.

When the O’Brien’s shuffled their feet out of the room, an hour after Marcus passed away, their shoulders were hunched, and they were hanging on to each other. Like they were the only ones who could hold each other up. They’re absolutely devastated, and I find I don’t have the words to express how sorry I am for their loss.

I’m an outsider, not having known Marcus for long. I feel like I don’t belong here and like I have no right to be witness to their most vulnerable heartache, but there’s no way I’m going to walk away. I promised Haddie I’d get her through this, and I’ve never felt more resolved and determined to do just that. It starts right now. Being here for her during this moment is the only place I should be.

Marcus’s parents wrapped her up as they cried together, with me standing slightly away while still gripping her hand. She hasn’t let me go since she collapsed in my arms, my emotions clogging my throat seeing the hurt written all over her face. She was finally able to slide her hand out of mine when they asked her if she wanted a moment to sit with him before they removed his body from the room.

Now, I’m standing in the doorway, watching my girl break again over her best friend’s body as she sobs into his chest. I can’t hear the words she’s whispering, and I refuse to ask what she’s saying. Those words are between the two of them. Intimate words shared between lifelong friends, one who’s left much too soon.

She’s not with him long after she says her goodbyes. Then she’s standing before me, staring up with a look of hopelessness and sorrow, pleading with me to do something.

“Let me take you home, baby.”

She nods, causing the tears to drip down her face faster as she steps into me.

Sighing, I hold her in the doorway and ask, “Do you want to go to your apartment, or can I take you to mine?”

“Yours.” Her voice cracks, but she’s able to answer. “You have a bigger bathtub.”

Chuckling, I rub her back while pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “A bath sounds like the perfect thing right now. Just hang on until then, alright?”

She doesn’t answer but allows me to lead her from the room. Haddie doesn’t look back to where Marcus is lying, and I send thoughts of farewells to him right before we say our goodbyes to his parents. After another round of hugs and promises to be in touch if they need help with anything, we eventually make it to my car.

The ride is silent as Haddie cries silently next to me. I know there’s nothing I can say, but I hate being so tongue-tied right now. At least a long afternoon of holding her is something I can do. I think I need it right now too. That was hard as fuck to be a part of. Witnessing the loss of life is something that stays with you forever.

When Haddie settles in the bath, I send some quick text messages to not only my mom, letting her know what’s going on, but I also text Addie to find out how she’s doing. Haddie spoke to her shortly on the phone while we were waiting for his parents to say goodbye. I also send a group text to her brothers to let them know where Haddie will be for the next few days. One last email to the staff at the library asking them to help with tutoring duties and covering her shift. I only have to wait a few more minutes for her before she’s shuffling out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel.

I quickly get up and pull the blankets back for her. She doesn’t hesitate to drop the damp material and crawl into bed. Following her in, I cover both of us up, burying our heads to keep the rest of the world out. She turns into me and weaves every limb between mine, pressing her face into my chest. I breathe her in, smiling at the fact that she’s used my shampoo and wash because she smells exactly like me.

With a gentle squeeze, I whisper against her ear, “I’ve got you, baby.”

Then… she breaks.

Her tears soak my chest with her gut-wrenching sobs as she falls apart against me, and all I can do is hold her, promising the world that I want to give her. She cries until her voice is rough and she’s struggling to catch her breath. She cries until she exhausts herself and she falls asleep in my arms. I just hold her. It’s all I can do until the emotionally fueled exhaustion drags me along with her. Neither of us moves, clinging to each other, thankful that at least we have this right now.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hot, wet heat. I’m consumed by it as I’m dragged out of sleep. It only takes me a moment to focus my mind on the fact that Haddie’s got my cock deep in her throat, laving her tongue across the underside, just below my head. Groaning, I glance down and find her completely invested, worshipping me like she can’t get enough.Jesus Christ, I’m already about to explode.

My head falls back, and I squeeze my eyes shut against the sensation of her lips sliding off with a pop. She brushes them across the tip, then I groan again when she sinks me back inside.

“Fuck, baby…” Trickles of thoughts from earlier today make their way into the haze of lust I’m engulfed in and I sit back up to check on her. “Happy, sweetheart. Are you–”

She pulls away, stroking me as she looks up with puffy, red-rimmed eyes. I open my mouth to tell her we don’t need to start this right now, but she doesn’t let me.

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