Page 44 of Laugh

I know I should feel nervous, which maybe I do a tiny bit, but I’m not scared. It all just seems right, like this is how it’s supposed to happen. This is our next step, and it makes the whirlwind that is Beau real. Placing my keys in his hand, he grabs mine and tugs me along behind him at a clipped pace. We pass one of my neighbors as they exit my building and I barely have time to wave hello as he ignores them and keeps walking, focused on getting to our destination.

“Beau?” I ask, huffing out a breath.

He pulls up short, then looks down at me, giving me his full attention.

I can’t control the chuckle that escapes. He actually seems impatient and like I’ve inconvenienced him. “We don’t have to run. I’m pretty much a sure thing… just saying.”

Dropping his head, his shoulders shake with silent laughter. “Sorry, happy girl. I just felt this need to get you home so I can have you all to myself behind closed doors.” Stepping closer to me, he tilts my chin up and holds it while he smiles sweetly at me. “This is all on your terms, whatever we do or don’t do. Okay?”

Nodding, I push up on my toes to lay a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you, but just so you know, I’m good with all the things.”

He kisses me fast and hard with a low groan, then releases me to spin around and continue tugging me to my apartment.

Before I can process what’s happening, I’m standing in front of him inside my dark apartment.

Okay, now I’m a little scared. And by a little scared, I mean a lot scared.

A tremble rolls through my body and I try to cover it up by shifting awkwardly on my feet as I consider all the things that could go wrong.What if it hurts? What if I’m terrible in bed?Oh my God, what if he can’t get it up because when he sees me naked, he doesn’t find me attractive or thinks I’m funny looking?

Beau moves closer and lifts his hands to frame my face. Taking a deep breath, he leans down and presses his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. “Happy, I can see every single thought that’s going through that beautiful head of yours.” Then, he whispers, “Don’t be afraid. I’ll be so good to you.”

When I swallow back my nerves, I bring my shaky hands to hold him the same way he’s holding me. “Sorry, I just had a moment. I trust you.”

He blows out a relieved breath, then lets me go. I assume he’s going to pull back. Instead, he squats down a bit quickly to lift me up and asks with a head nod toward my room, “That way?”

“Uhh… yes. That is definitely the way to my bedroom.”

Beau flashes his teeth in a wide grin, then carries me until we’re next to my bed. Another bout of fear races through me when he sets me on my feet, but this time I’m able to remind myself that it’s not Beau I’m afraid of. I’ve written countless sex scenes, but it’s all information gleaned from other smutty books I’ve read over the years. How it’s actually going tofeel?That’s the scary part to me. The unknown.

Touching his shirt and pressing against his chest, I can feel his heart beating almost as quickly as mine. Knowing that he’s just as nervous as I am calms me down.It’s like we’re in this together. A silly thought because, ofcoursewe’re in this together, but it’s like we’re on the same page on a different level. This feels like…more, and I think he feels the same.

Beau lifts his hand and places it over where mine is resting on his chest and covers it, pressing my palm more firmly against him. I take a deep breath, steadying myself as I wait for the next part. We could be tearing our clothes off and attacking each other, but I need him to take the lead here. My false confidence can only get me so far in life, but at this moment, I’m lost and relying on him to show me how to do this.

After a light squeeze to my hand, he lets me go to reach above his head and tug his shirt off.Good God, I really do have Thor standing in my bedroom.My eyes roam over his shoulders and pecs, taking in the lines of cut muscles. At first glance, it looks smooth, but up close, I can see the light smattering of hair that leads down to a thin line running down his stomach. Dropping my eyes, I follow the path to where it disappears behind his pants. My eyes widen when I notice the large bulge at the front.My God.I’m really going to do this.

Chuckling softly, he steps forward, pressing his body against mine. There’s no forgetting what I just saw when I can feel it pressing against my lower stomach now. I lean my forehead against his chest, my nose pressed against his skin to breathe him in. He smells like cedar and man with a hint of whatever cologne he uses. So,sogood.

Beau wraps his arms around me and balls the fabric of the dress I chose to wear today in his fist at my lower back. He pulls at it and when I feel cool air at the back of my thighs; I realize he’s inching it upwards.Tilting my head back, I raise my arms so he can continue tugging until my face is briefly covered as he removes my dress. My clothes join his shirt on the floor next to us while we both stay locked on one another’s eyes.

I shiver when his gaze eventually drops. He leans back to look at my bra and panty clad body, taking in every inch of my skin the way I did him. Goosebumps erupt over my skin when he runs his fingertips across my chest, fingers walking along the swell of my breasts. I drop my chin to watch and smile when I notice he’s following the path of my freckles dotting my skin.

“I like that your freckles made it here too. Your body…” He blows out a gust of air, and rumbles out, “You’re stunning, Haddie.”

“Happy,” I whisper back, feeling a whole plethora of emotions, one of them being relief that he likes what he sees.

Groaning, he quickly strips his pants off and steps out of them as he walks me back until we tumble onto my bed. A small squeak escapes me when we land. Blushing furiously at the ridiculous sound I made, I cover my mouth with both of my hands to ensurethatdoesn’t happen again.

Beau wastes no time pulling them away, then presses my hands to the side of my head so he can look down at me. His eyes roam over my face before falling to my lips where they stay as he repeats, “Happy.”

“Captain.”

It’s all I can think to say with the way he’s looking at me and the feel of his weight covering me. I know when I’ve read other books, some have mentioned what it feels like, but I’ve never had the experience to truly understand what it’s actually like. How it makes me feel coveted and secure, completely safe. I would have compared it to a hug before, but it’s so much more than that. We’re cocooned in this little bubble with his arms braced around me, shielding me from the real world.

“You’re wandering away from me again,” he teases, dipping down to brush his lips over my brows. He moves his mouth lower to kiss my eyelids when I close them.

I press my lips together to fight off my smile. “To be fair, this time my mind was wandering aboutyou.”

“What in particular were you thinking about?” This time, he’s more curious than teasing. I don’t think he’s fishing for compliments, but even if he were, I’d give them to him.

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