Page 45 of Sensual Games

Lucian turned away, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. This explained a lot. The way he had avoided me. The way he attacked me when I first walked in here. He wanted one more screw for the road. He had to know I’d want nothing to do with him once I knew what he was doing behind my back.

“Let me call you back later tonight,” I offered Laney while my heart ached at the sound of her soft sobs. “And I promise, everything will be all right. We will all be fine.”

“I really hope you’re right,” she mumbled miserably as I ended the call and released a long, shaky breath.

Finally, his voice broke the silence. “I can explain.” That would be the first thing out of his lying mouth, wouldn’t it?

I let out a faint, shaky laugh, standing near the door while he stared out the window from the center of the living room. We may as well have been miles apart when, just minutes ago, we were entangled in each other. “Please, give it a shot. I can’t wait to hear it.”

“I did everything I could. I spent the past two days trying to find a way to justify keeping everyone on, I swear it.” He turned, and his beaten expression satisfied me for a heartbeat. “I swear to God. I don’t want this.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? How long have you known?”

He lifted a shoulder. “Does it matter?”

He couldn’t have hurt me worse if he hit me. That shrug. “Which question are you answering?”

“About how long I’ve known, of course.” He had the nerve to act exasperated. “As for why I didn’t tell you?—”

“I can answer that one.” I snarled. How could I ever think I was falling for him? The slimy little weasel, this cowardly little shit. “You didn’t tell me because I wouldn’t fuck you if I knew you were planning on letting most of the team go when you told me it wouldn’t happen.”

“That’s not true!”

“Right. So that’s why you were all over me the second I walked in here. No important talk, no sitting down with me, offering me a drink, holding my hand while you walked me through this. You wanted to fuck. After that, you could give me the news that I no longer have a fucking job.” I was shaking so hard it was tough to speak, but I had to get every word out. He needed to hear it. I needed to say it.

“It’s not like that!” he bellowed. “Let me get a word in edgewise, for God’s sake!”

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” I had to get out of here. I couldn’t breathe. My blood was on fire, and I was a second away from throwing up all over the floor. My job. I was going to lose my job. I would have to find something else, but what if I couldn’t? The market was shit. Mom needed me.Mom.What was going to happen to her?

“Would you please let me explain?” he asked, taking the first steps toward me. When I backed up against the door, he stopped, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. Poor baby wasn’t used to being denied.

“What is there to explain?” I asked with tears in my voice. “This was how it was always going to be. Damn, how can I be so stupid?” I didn’t know who I was more disappointed with. “I have to go. I can’t look at you.”

“Listen! I put my name down on that list, not yours.” My mouth fell open, and he continued in a rush of words, “I don’t want the job. The only thing that made me want it was being there with you. You’ll do much better at it than I ever could. I named myself as one of the team members who had to go.”

“Oh, get real,” I spat. He dropped back a step, his mouth falling open. “You actually think your father would accept that? Right, like he’s going to let you go and keep me, all because that’s what you think should happen. You still don’t get it, and you never will. You were born with a safety net. He will not desert you.”

“I’mnot desertingyou.”

“It doesn’t matter if you are or not! I’m alone either way.” Saying those words had a strange effect on me. It was one thing to know something but totally different to say it out loud. “You could’ve told me about this. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I… I don’t know.” He shook his head, running a trembling hand over his hair. “I couldn’t find the words. I thought once you knew I put my name on the list to keep you on, you would know I wanted to protect you.”

“Nice gesture,” I admitted. “But that’s all it is. A gesture. It doesn’t mean anything real.”

“Who says?”

“I say!” Hot tears flowed freely down my cheeks, and I wiped them away, angry at them, angry at me. “You don’t live in the real world. And that’s why we cannot work. Do you think just because you tell Daddy you want things a certain way, that’s the way they’re going to be? Because that’s how your life has always gone.”

“And you’re telling me I’m the one who doesn’t understand reality when you think it’s all so simple?” He barked out a cold, nasty laugh. “Is that what you think my life is?”

“I know it is! You come from this world where people are something to be used, bled dry, and tossed aside when there’s nothing left. And still, somehow, you think you can make things better just because that’s how you want them.” Throwing my arms into the air, I concluded, “You’re blind. You’re blind to the way things really are, blind to the lives of the people who work for you. God, Lucian.”

“That’s not me anymore,” he insisted with desperation in his voice. “You’ve changed me.”

“Easy to say,” I spat.

“It’s true. This wasn’t my idea. I wracked my brain for two days, trying to come up with a way to keep everyone on, but I’m not the CEO. He’s set on what he wants, and that’s it.”

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