Page 42 of Treachery

He pinched his eyes shut, remembering her face the day he walked into the clubhouse to find her with Frost. The devastation in her eyes, the weird blankness in her expression…he had made her that way. He was the reason she was sobbing into his arms in that moment, and he knew that no matter how many times he said he was sorry, it wouldn’t matter. He had to prove it.

Maybe I should call church…hand in my kutte….

In his arms, Nadia sniffled, furiously wiping at her face with the sleeve of her blouse.

“Ugh, I hate crying,” she muttered wetly.

He sighed, pressing a kiss to her temple, and humming.

“I hate you crying, too, baby, especially when I’m the reason,” he spat, hating himself a little more.

Her red-eyed gaze glided over his face, and he could see the wheels turning behind her eyes.

Finally, she rolled her eyes and groaned dramatically, “I really don’t want to be angry with you anymore, Locust?—”

“James,” he interjected, despising the sound of his road name on her lips.

“What?” she asked, her lips pursing in confusion.

“You call me James.”

Again, she rolled her eyes. “We’ll reevaluate after tonight. As of right now, I’m still flipping back and forth in my head. We’ll see which one stays.”

He could deal with that…as long as she was screaming James before too much longer.

Down, boy! There’s still too much to unpack.

“I get why Frost would want the money for the club, but why, if it didn’t feel right, did you go through with it? Why, when you were supposedly falling in love with me, did you continue to do his bidding? Why, if you loved me and wanted an actualrelationship with me, didn’t you just sit me down, tell me the truth, and ask me straight out about my step-brother?”

All the words piled up on the tip of his tongue, but his mouth refused to open.

Her gaze pinned to his face, she must have seen the hesitation…the climbing panic. His heart raced, his chest burned from holding his breath, and his pulse was pounding in his ears.

Open your mouth! Tell her! No! She’ll think I’m a fucking loser like her fuck up of a brother and I can say goodbye to that second chance.

She hissed, sneering, “Are you serious right now? You invite me here, telling me you want to explain, but when it comes right down to it, you’re just a liar. Once again, I’ve fallen for your lies—” She shoved at his chest and moved to jump to her feet, but he grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her, crushing her to his chest.

“No! Please! Just…give me a minute!” he implored against the crown of her head. She wriggled trying to get free, but he was stronger, and he had so much to lose.

“You’ve had six months, Locust!” she said, her voice cracking with emotion. “You could have told me on the side of the highway where you first met me, or—hey, how ‘bout before you fucked me three weeks later?”

“I wanted to tell you,” he cried out, hating how weak he was in the face of Truth. She needed the truth, and he was terrified. “Once I realized I loved you, keeping my mission a secret made me sick; the guilt ate me alive.”

She snorted derisively, and he cringed.

He couldn’t lose her.

“I’ll tell you, just?—”

She shoved him again, pulling her head back to glare at him. “No! You tell me right now or I’ll walk, and I will never speak toyou again. You will be nothing to me but the worst time in my life, a stain, a mistake I will?—”

“I owe him,” he shouted, “he saved my life!” He hadn’t meant to blurt it out, but she was talking about leaving, cutting him out of her life completely, and that thought of that was so devastating, he knocked the truth right out of his mouth.

Shocked into silence, it took Nadia a few heart-pounding moments to utter, “What?”

He heaved a shaky sigh, flexing his arms which were still around her. She didn’t seem to notice, though, so he basked in it, the sensation of her being in his arms. Her chest against his chest. He sucked in a deep breath, inhaling her scent, bracing himself for what was coming.

“He saved my life, Nadia. I owe that man my life.”