Page 40 of Treachery

“I need to go first,” she asserted as butterflies began nibbling on her insides.

His face red, he snapped his mouth shut. She knew it took a lot for a man like him, one used to taking charge, to let someone else take control. But she appreciated the effort.

Sweat prickled the back of her neck, and she swallowed.

“Three years ago, I won three million dollars at a casino. I knew that, while it was a blessing, there would be people who’d take advantage, so I hid it from everyone. Not surprisingly, the people I went to the casino with, people from work, knew, and they had no problem spreading the word. And that word followed me to Pennsylvania, because a friend of a work friend put in a good word for me at Emerald Greens.”

His mouth still sealed shut, Locust crossed his arms and sat back, his gaze intent on her, listening.

Swallowing again, nervous as hell that he was going to think she was an idiot, she continued, “At first, nothing really changed. I put the money into an account under my mother’s maiden name, and just left it there. I didn’t need it, not really, I was making enough to live on, so that money was more like a cushion or emergency raft when unexpected things happened.” Heaving a heavy sigh, she closed her eyes, visions of dark hair, dark-eyed man filled her mind. “A few months after I moved here…I met Joe.”

Nadia’s eyes widened at the sound of the deep, aggressive growl rumbling from Locust’s chest.

“I can already tell I’m not going to like this, baby,” he objected, his nostrils flaring, and the veins in his neck seeming to thicken.

She pressed her sweating palms against her knees. “Joe was well-dressed, charming, and he seemed to come out of nowhere. He ran into me at Starbucks, literally, accidentally spilling his drink all over me. He was the picture of contrite and apologetic, begging to let him make it up to me by going to dinner with him. Charmed by the handsome face and the effusive act, I agreed.That night, he pulled out all the stops; it was like he knew I was a body-conscious wallflower, who was starving for attention. He’d done his homework, you know? He knew all the flaws to poke at until I couldn’t picture myself without myperfect boyfriend.”

Locust growled again, this time his face was hard, his eyes glinting with malice. Was that jealousy or something else?

“After a couple of weeks of the charm and seduction and the ‘we were meant to be together’ act, he started with the ‘I forgot my wallet,’ and the ‘can you spot me a few bucks,’ and the ‘I saw this pair of shoes I need for work.’ It started out in little amounts I could pay using my regular income from work, but it quickly graduated to hundreds, then thousands.” The blast of shame immolating her chest made her groan, closing her eyes against the humiliation. God, she really had been such a desperate loser.

“Hey, now, none of that, baby,” Locust interjected. She snapped open her eyes to see him grab her hands from her legs and cup them in his own. “I can see the look on your face, and you have to know that it wasn’t your fault.” He lifted their joined hands and pressed her knuckles against his cheeks. They were on fire, shame and self-loathing darkening his eyes. “None of it was your fault. Not with Joe and not with me.”

Not knowing that to say, she simply nodded, then sighed. She let him hold her hands in his lap, and pinned her eyes there, too caught up in her emotions to meet his gaze again.

“It wasn’t my fault…I know that, but it doesn’t stop the anger at myself…that I let him into my life, so desperate for what my parents had that I overlooked all the red flags. It wasn’t until I got three credit card bills—maxed out—for credit accounts I never opened that I realized what was going on. Apparently, he was dating one of the girls I went to the casino with the day I won. She blabbed all about it, and Joe thought he could use that as a way to move on up. He dumped her, followed me to PA, ran his scam on me at the Starbucks, and then plied me for all thebling he could, thinking I’d never find out, or, if I did, I’d be so happy having him in my life, I’d just let it happen. I did neither, though?—”

Locust snorted, amusement and pride in that single sound.

“I called the cops, told them about what happened, and they opened a fraud investigation. Not surprising, I wasn't the first woman he’d charmed and then cashed in on. Once he caught a whiff of the cops looking into him, he split. I haven’t heard from him since.”

His hands around hers squeezed, the pressure almost enough to make her cry out. She looked up at his face, and gasped. The level of self-hatred in his eyes made tears burn the backs of hers.

“I’m no better, am I?” he asked, his voice a raspy husk of a voice, nearly empty save for the grief.

She pulled her hands from under his, but grasped his tightly. “You wanted different things, but…you both used me,” she replied as honestly as she could. There was no purpose in sugar coating anything, especially since the point was to get it off her chest. His hands trembled beneath hers. “You hurt me, so much more than he did, because I loved you.”

At that admission, a sound, such as a wounded animal would make, wheezed from his throat.

He pinched his eyes shut, his chest rising and falling in uneven pants.

Rip off the Band-Aid; just get it over with!

“With Joe, what I felt was weak, fed by desperation and fear of being alone. With you, though…I fell so hard, so fast, so deeply it was like my heart and soul were woven into yours, and I didn’t know who I was without you.”

“What the hell have I done?” he murmured so softly she didn’t think he meant for her to hear it.

Every nerve ending in her body shot to life, the agony, the sorrow, the rage, the humiliation of his betrayal sprouted anew, but this time it came with the urge to scrape it from her soul, from the depths of her where the pain lived.

Yes, Locust—James—was hurting in her telling, but it needed to be said, he needed to hear what he did to her, how he made her feel, how he tore her to pieces, changing who she was.

“You will never understand the depths of my pain,” she breathed, the words wobbly. Tears cascaded down her face. Locust’s face turned white in an instant, his eyes wide and filled with terror. “You made me believe in a future with you, you made me believe that I meant something to you, that I was safe with you, that my heart meant something to you, that you would guard it, protect it, cherish it—but you were who I needed protection from. You came to me, met me, knowing you would betray me, and you still did it, you lied to my face, day after day, you fucked me, then held me in your arms afterward like it meant something to you, when all along it was a duty.” Anger flickered to life in her chest. Sitting forward, her tears drying on her cheeks, she demanded, “Did you laugh behind my back about the lonely, fat loser who actually believed you were attracted to her? Did you plan when you would fuck me so you could take Viagra first? Did you have to fight the urge to puke when you were done, while I was basking in my love for you?”

“No!” he shouted, shooting to his feet, nearly tearing her hands from her wrists in his rush. “No, that’s not what happened—none of that is true. Not a goddamn word of it!”

Pacing, the thrust is fingers through his hair, dislodging his ever-present bandana. He looked wrecked, like he’d just got off a month-long bender.

“What am I supposed to think, Locust? You targeted me, used me, all so you could get information on my step-brother. You weren’t using me for money like Joe, but the end game wasthe same, you wanted something from me, and you used my pathetic need for love and affection against me!”

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