Page 7 of A Kingdom so Crimson

"Tell me,Levon. How did you and Jesri come to be acquainted?" I asked as I finished off my last piece, my stomach beyond bloated.

"We happened to meet at a tavern a few years ago," Levon began. "I was just a lad working for some…gentlemen who frequented that place. I was to be their guiding light when they needed the help home."

"A tavern?" Calum echoed, clearly surprised, and shot me a warning look. I returned his glance before focusing on my plate. "I didn't realize you ever went out drinking, especially not to a tavern."

Jesri had always considered himself above such lowly establishments and was known for his aversion to mingling with those of lower status.

Jesri smiled and patted Levon on the back. "There was a time I needed a guiding light myself," he said, glancing at Levon. "And it seems I found one." The two men shared a knowing laugh, exchanging an unspoken understanding that made my stomach churn.

"What exactly was this guiding light you were looking for?" I asked abruptly, knowing it would provoke Jesri.

It did, and he gave me a look of irritation but continued. "For you, Eliah."

His sudden comment sank unusually deep, and I wasn't sure how to answer. I wished I hadn't devoured my dessert as I aimlessly forked at the crumbs. I nodded as a sudden strike of frustration leaped from me, begging me to leave and escape the eyes of these men and the plans they refused to tell me—plans aboutmylife. I suppressed a grunt of frustration. Calum noticed my state and stood, clearing his throat.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Sir Alder. I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to experience Lady Eliah's charm in the coming days." He reached for my hand, and I eagerly accepted.

"I look forward to seeing you in training, my lady," Levon said, standing quickly after I stood myself. Jesri sat still, not caring to notice my leave.

I nodded and let Calum take me away, holding my head high as I pressed the demanding anger down. We reached the staircase, but Calum led me outside into the gardens instead, knowing I needed air—knowing exactly what I needed and when I needed it. It only infuriated me more.

The sky had deepened into a velvety purple, with flecks of light blue and orange still lingering on the far horizon. We walked in silence until a sudden chill swept through the garden, catchingus both by surprise. Calum pulled me closer, and I allowed myself to lean into his warmth, the familiar scent of musk and citrus surrounding me, with a hint of alcohol masked beneath.

"Cal, what does Jesri have planned for me?" I asked quietly, not letting my mind wander into such fantasies.

He shrugged. "I know as much as you do, El," he sighed, pulling me a little closer. I let him, realizing I might be leaving in a few days and wondering if I would miss him.

When Cal first attended court, he attracted many suitable ladies, leaving some with ruined reputations. He stopped acknowledging me altogether, abandoning me to his vicious uncle and Darius's men as he snuck in one woman after another. Rumors spread, tarnishing his and Jesri's reputation, and turning life into a dangerous game of walking on broken glass.

Only then did Cal remember my existence after Jesri punished him less severely than my easier punishments. And with that, Cal reeled me back in like a fish that had never seen the ocean, begging and flirting as we once did as children—creating a facade that was never real.

My skin shivered at his warm embrace, and I abruptly pulled away, knowing what this facade was. I gritted my teeth as anger and frustration ignited like a swarm of bees. The familiar metallic taste bit at the back of my tongue, sending an irritating itch down my spine.

"Tyran, El! Calm down," Calum hissed, cutting through the silence. "You'll be great at whatever you do because youaregreat at whatever you do. Just…control yourself and thisanger. It will be your downfall if you don't learn to regulate it."

I laughed heartily.

If I could control this random anger, I would have. It was the one thing I still hadn't mastered, and it was much more complex than yielding a bow or throwing a knife. It sprouted itself when I least wanted it, pulling at every tether of my heart and mind likean unforgiving force. It was a never-ceasing presence becoming an annoying friend who never left.

"Iwillmiss you, Eliah," Calum said softer, grasping my hand. I instinctively shook his hand off. His face contorted into confusion. "I will, El.No matter what you think of me, I will miss the company of you. And I…" his voice trailed off.

My heart stumbled, wanting to know what hetrulythought.

"No," I spat out quickly, looking into his golden eyes. "I don't believe you will."

I pivoted and walked away, leaving him in whatever confusion he was feeling. I was furious at him for pushing me to rebel and dragging me to that disgusting tavern, and even more so for how easily I fell back under his charm. But I wouldn't let myself fall into his traps again. I wouldn't open my heart to him, only to have it be broken like my parents did.

I had promised myself long ago that I wouldn't let anyone in, especially him. He would forget me soon enough, and life would go on as it always did—with me wherever Jesri saw fit.

3

Iawoke early the following morning with tear-stained cheeks and a gnawing headache that deepened my resentment. I grunted, shuffling out from under the thin covers, and rubbed my eyes to adjust to the grogginess of waking. After returning from dinner, I dismissed Aoife and fell into a puddle of tears on my moth-eaten bed. Jesri has belittled and demeaned so much of me forhisselfish and arrogant pleasures all my life that I've become accustomed to my numb reality of failure, pain, hopelessness, and anger. And now that I might be leaving this place, it feels…wrong. As if my excitement and hopes of freedom are only glimpses of dreams I fear will never come true. Like the wishes I had for my parents to return and save me from this life—That they still love me.

I clenched my jaw—they were just as arrogant as Jesri.

Taking a deep breath, I forced all my thoughts to quiet.

I stood up, the cold floor biting into my toes and jolting me fully awake. As I walked to the window, I pulled open the curtains to reveal the inky dawn, with dark shades of purple streaking the sky. The sight stirred a mix of emotions anduncertainties in my heart. I took a deep breath and looked up at the twinkling stars, hoping they saw me and understood the words I couldn't bring myself to say. Hoping they wouldn't leave me for long.

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