Page 77 of A Kingdom so Crimson

The maggot, the pressure. It was real and ready to brand me into submission, waiting for me to fail and to fear.

I pushed harder, letting the weight of my body ache against the pull of my legs with each thrust and bounce.

Control it, Eliah, because that will be all you have left,his words echoed in my mind.

Inhale, exhale.

The ache in my mind begged for more distraction while my lungs and legs begged me to stop. I hit the main foyer, gulping down air as the cool mountain stone licked my face with each breath. A few drunkards were slumped in scattered chairs, twitching in their sleep.

I turned and began walking back to the room, inhaling deeply to let the sharpness of the air dispel my thoughts. My heart slowed to its normal rhythm, faster than before, and I stood with a newfound confidence to take control of my life how I saw fit.

Finding our door, I pushed it open just as Levon swung it open from the other side.

His eyes went wide, and his clothes were in disarray. "Tell mewhen you feel like taking a run for the night when things are—" he started, then stopped abruptly, shaking his head. "You don't know how terrified I was waking up, and you were gone."

I wanted to retort with bitterness, knowing he'd be even more terrified when I began the tournament, but I held my tongue, feeling the desperate need for sleep weigh heavily on my body.

"I couldn't sleep."

He rubbed his face, fatigue evident in his eyes. "Get some because you won't have much of it soon," he said, retreating into Kaizen's room, firmly shutting the door behind him. I clenched my jaw and reached the privy to wash up.

Splashing my face with cold water, I scrubbed away the traces of fear and exhaustion as best I could with the standing washbasin. Hastily changing into a fresh set of clothes, I placed Kaizen's dagger within easy reach, and I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes, but sleep eluded me; my mind too noisy with anxious thoughts.

"Why did they show me that memory?" I grunted into the pillow, frustration seeping through my voice. I forced myself to still, battling restlessness as I focused on each breath. Counting seconds, I urged my mind to stay disciplined, wishing I had taken Levon's breathing training more seriously, especially if Kaizen said my life depended on it. But before I could continue my count, sleep overtook my body.

A soft tickle traced down my arm, and I jolted awake. My dagger was instantly in hand as Levon backed away, his hands raised in surrender.

"You must stop startling me," I groaned, replacing the dagger on the bedside table and flopping back onto the bed.

"How else was I supposed to wake you?" he mused, adjusting his tunic with a smile playing on his lips. I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

"Well, you must refrain from it when I'm asleep," I rasped, my tone sharper than intended.

He chuckled softly. "We should leave as soon as possible to arrive by sundown tonight. I let you sleep as long as I could." His hand reached for mine, but I hesitated, causing him to withdraw his hand and take a deep breath. "I'll meet you at the entrance. I need to see Jucam's mother before we leave. Kaizen's preparing the carriage and will meet you."

With that, he exited the room, taking out the last trunk of our things. I rose from the bed, gathering my hair into a braid, slipped on my shoes, and exited the room, ensuring the dagger was securely tucked into my boot.

Kaizen was eating at a table by the hearth in the main foyer. I approached him, scanning the room to note the absence of the previous night's drunkards, replaced by new faces.

He caught my eye and nodded towards Jucam, who was bustling behind his table. "He has food ready for you. Hurry and eat. We should have left an hour ago," Kaizen snapped as if our conversation last night had never happened.

I sighed, rolling my eyes as I approached Jucam, who quickly spotted me and greeted me with a bushy smile. "Morning, milady. Let me get you your food."

Returning his smile, I thanked him sincerely. "Your cooking is excellent."

Embarrassment tinted his pale cheeks. "The pleasure is all mine to give," he replied with genuine gratitude. He handed me a plate laden with fried meat and eggs, with a creamy vegetable sauce simmering over the whole of it.

I nodded my thanks and walked back toward Kaizen, who was now standing with his empty plate. He brushed past me, "Stay put until I come back."

I shot him a glare in response and settled into my seat, not bothering with the pretense of eating like a lady. Instead, I dug into the breakfast with eagerness. By the time Kaizen returned, I had finished my meal and watched as he laughed with Jucam. It was a rare sight to see him look genuinely happy.

He caught my eye, and his laughter and smile dwindled. He redirected his attention to Jucam and resumed their conversation as I collected my empty platter and walked over to them, returning it to Jucam and expressing gratitude for the delicious meal. Jucam smiled warmly, but Kaizen's expression returned to its usual seriousness.

Kaizen motioned for me to follow as we headed through the large stone doorway into the open fields, where I prayed a Breva wasn't lurking. The sun was now bright against the soaring Gap, dispersing the fog and leaving no place to hide except for the endless fields to the south. The carriage was loaded, and the horses stood ready for the last leg of our journey.

"Do you still have that dagger on you?" Kaizen questioned, pulling his leathers tighter, about to hand me another one.

"Is that even a question?" I rebuked, watching him unsheathe another slightly longer dagger with a small ruby pommel, the gem looking as mysterious as those from the lady back in the market. Its handle was interwoven with threads of golden vines that wrapped around to the steel, which was jagged and gleamed with a peculiar silver.

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