Page 37 of A Kingdom so Crimson

"You wouldn't understand," he snapped.

"Then help me understand, Levon! I'm tired of being kept in the dark. Help me understand—"

"I can't!" he exclaimed, his voice rising, silencing even my breathing.

We stood in silence for a few heartbeats, feeling the tension swell between us.

"Can't, or won't? They are twoverydifferent things," I murmured. He stroked his hands through his hair, his sleeves still rolled up from cleaning, and shook his head. "What are you not telling me?" I sat back down on the seat, trying to make sense ofeverything. "Whythis Match to begin with?" My voice flooded with desperation.

"Eliah," he sighed, rubbing his temples as he settled beside me, his scarred hands in plain view. He glanced up, meeting my eyes. "I'm notkind," he paused. "I've done things—dark things—that I have to live with," he stopped again, his gaze becoming heavy. "Some things are best left in the past, Eliah. But thisanger—you don't realize how quickly it can take over, turning everything good inside you into something dark. I've seen it happen to myself, and I don't want you making the same choices I did."

His words hit me like a punch, and my mind flashed to the Spellcasters and the massacre of all those innocent Magics. I swallowed hard, almost choking on the weight of his confession.

I hadn't expected him to be so honest. He was clearly trying to make amends, to be better—that explained his work in the kitchens and his kindness to his staff. But that didn't mean he had the right to dictate my life or control my choices and emotions.

I placed a hand on his arm, noticing how the light in his bright eyes had dimmed, replaced by a hollow look of regret.

"Levon, you're not here to be my protector. Your job is to train me for the Match, not shield me against things thatmighthappen. What I need right now is to know what this Match truly involves," I breathed, matching his heaviness. "I have to win—It's my only shot at breaking free from Jesri."

He stared at me, absorbing my words in silence before taking a deep breath. I pulled my hand back and stood up, the anger still boiling inside me, ready to explode. "I need to know what I'm up against. You can either tell me or I'll figure it out myself." I turned, yanked the door open, and slammed it shut behind me, frustrated that my room was so close to his study—I needed more space to cool off.

The uncertainty weighed heavily on me, stifling and relentless. I was desperate for answers, even though I knew they might reveal truths I wasn't ready to confront.

I needed air. I needed to get out and take control of my life, even if only for the evening, and explore the town on my own terms. I waited until his footsteps faded down the hall into silence before I changed into my training attire. Opting for a long black top and brown pants, I slipped one of the daggers I had stolen from training earlier into my boot as I tied the laces. After securing a satchel, I flung open the immaculate curtains to reveal a full moon illuminating the shadowy grounds below.

The sky was an inky black, dotted with dozens of shimmering stars and constellations, looking down at me with indignation for what I was about to do.

I cracked the window open, feeling a cold gust of wind rush in, sending shivers down my spine and raising goosebumps. Hastily, I searched for an overcoat and found one at the bottom of the armoire. It was patched with leather and lined with rabbit fur, instantly warming me up as I slipped it on.

I walked back to the window and looked over the glen, where tall trees framed the path leading to the town. In the distance, the lights glowed softly, hinting at the lively activity beyond.

I glanced down, assessing the distance and my footing before making my move. Gripping the window frame, I carefully lowered myself onto a narrow ledge, just wide enough for one foot. The thrill of rebellion surged through me with each cautious step.

At Jesri's estate, such recklessness would have been unthinkable. Darius's men patrolled the grounds so vigilantly that slipping out unnoticed seemed nearly impossible.

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips—Levon, on the other hand, was much less of a worrier.

I descended smoothly until my footing faltered, leading to a sudden fall. I managed to quickly grab onto another small ledge to slow my descent before dropping in a heap on the ground. Coughing for air, I quickly recovered and brushed myself off. With a grin threatening to escape, I started my run toward the town, containing the laughter that bubbled up inside me.

The cold air and high elevation stung my throat with each breath but propelled my legs and arms to move faster. The dirt beneath my feet crunched loudly against the stillness of the night as the moon illuminated my path. Tears streamed down my face from the cold, and the uncontrollable giggles from rebelling urged me to run faster.

With arms outstretched, I twirled, letting the gentle wind lead the way.

I came to a halt, crouching down to catch my breath. As I covered my mouth to stifle my giggles, I couldn't help but reflect on the freeness. With Jesri, it took all of my control not to defy him, to assert my independence, and to prove that I was not his to control. I allowed him to believe he held sway over me, allowed him to perceive me as his prized possession, all thewhile knowing that my liberation was inevitable. I would never return to that life, never to be his pathetic ward.

A sudden rustle to my right jolted me into silence, halting my laughter and leaving me breathless. I immediately scanned my surroundings, my heart pounding as I recognized how vulnerable I was on the long, rocky road. The darkening sky and dense trees surrounding me seemed to close in, intensifying my sense of how utterly alone I was.

My thoughts returned to Levon's warning about the prowlers from our first run together. He had never given specifics about what might be lurking in the shadows, but the vague fear he had instilled was enough. The dread in my chest grew sharper, and I felt a surge of panic. I had no intention of staying around to find out what dangers lay hidden in the darkness.

Drawing my dagger, the skin on my neck pebbled as another flurry of movement rustled behind me. Regret flooded me—I should not have done this. How utterly foolish of me.

A deep snarl reverberated from the ground to my left, sending a shiver down my spine. Every fiber of my being urged me to flee, and my heartbeat echoed loudly in my ears. I crouched low, regulating my breath to silence and sharpening my senses. With cautious steps, I advanced, straining my eyes to pierce through the darkness of the thicket.

What in Tyran wasI thinking? I huffed, annoyed at myself. Iwasn'tthinking, that was the problem.

As more movement stirred behind me, branches cracked loudly. Whirling around, I extended my leg to steady myself. The rustling of several bushes and branches revealed that I was vastly outnumbered.

The movements quickened, accompanied by the menacing sound of snarls and the snap of saliva. My thoughts returned to the beasts in my evaluation, realizing they made a similarnoise that made my skin crawl. Clutching the dagger tightly, I prepared to flee or fight.

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