Page 50 of The Sleight Before Christmas

“Speaking of wild—” Brenden spouts, and I clear my throat loudly after catching all three of our wives descending the staircase in my peripheral. It’s as they approach that I start to notice Erin can’t look at Brenden, or rather isavoidinglooking at him. And Whitney ... is not walking right. Serena sniggers behind them, catching my eye and winking as all three women wordlessly head straight into the kitchen toward the coffee pot.As the quiet lengthens with no greetings exchanged, I begin to sense the start of a cold war. Glancing between Brenden and Eli, I see their posture tensing as their collective eyes lower.

“You dumb bastards,” I say. “You let your egos win and busted yourselves.”

“Let’s hear you sayfive minutesnow,Bee,” Eli hisses, butchering his pet name for Whitney as his eyes trail his wife into the kitchen.

“Lack ofball servicenot a hot topic for you today, huh,traitor?” Brenden mutters after his own wife before looking between us. “Probably because she wrote them a fucking sonnet.”

“We get it,” Eli cuts in, “you got ball service last night.”

“And you’re a saint? Do you want to tell me why my sister is walking like a fucking baby goat this morning?”

Eli grins into his coffee mug as I issue a grave warning. “You don’t get your wives back while they’re drunk.” As if in afterthought, they both look at me, fear quickly replacing their smug expressions. “You don’t do that, boys. And you’re about to learn the hard way as soon as they get caffeinated.”

I draw the sign of the cross in the air over each of them as they both pale. As if on cue, ramblings sound from feet away before a sinking feeling filters through the air.

“Oh, Eliiiiiii,” Whitney calls, mimicking ‘Here’s Johnny’ fromThe Shining. A paling Eli turns to address her call just as Whitney pulls the butcher knife from the block. “Want to help me in the kitchen, honey?”

“I would,” Eli audibly gulps, “but I-uh, already told Thatch I would chop the wood—”

“And make pantakes?” She laughs maniacally, probably from some inside joke they share, as Eli goes ghost white. Brenden’s no better for wear as his jaw inches down. Glancing over, I catch Erin full-on glaring at him over the top of her coffee mug.

“Told you,” I chuckle as both men turn to me. “I’m going to chop wood and leave you two to the house. But HAVE A NICE DAY!”

They both jump back, recoiling in horror as Whitney grabs the sharpener from the block and begins scraping the knife down it theatrically.

Glancing up, I give Serena the ‘come hither finger’ and head into the den. As I’m wrapping up, she meets me there, giggling. Both of us giddy, I lift a finger to my mouth and lift my chin in indication for her to turn back.

From our vantage point, we get the most epic view of the stare-off happening between the livid ladies in the kitchen versus the gents currently pissing their pants in fear at the table. The lingering silence hysterical before I open the sliding door and whisk Serena outside. She immediately starts to shiver as she rubs her hands together.

“Oh, this is too fucking good, Thatch!” Serena says. “And you know what, for once, I’m glad it’s not us doing the bickering.”

I pinch her chin. “We don’t always bicker.”

“Uh, yeah, we do,” she counters instantly.

“Okay, we do, and yeah, this time it isn’t us.”

“Just let me revel in it,” she says.

“Gotta admit, I love it when our code trumps other codes, and it works to our advantage. And I wouldn’t change shit, Serena.”

“Me neither, babe,” she shivers again, and I warm her hands between my gloves. “Okay, I’m freezing, I’m going to head back in.”

“Before you do, I just wanted to say,” I run my gloved finger down her cheek before tracing the top of her pajama top, “I’m sorry I was a little too buzzed toproperlythank you last night.”

“The show was enough, honey,” she rolls her eyes, and I chuckle. “Besides, I thought you were holding out?” She shivers again, and I lean in and take her lips soundly.

“There areother waysto thank you, Mrs. O’Neal.”

“Hmm,” she says.

“Babe, real quick, where did Gracie disappear to last night?”

“She was in the Raggedy Ann room,reading.”

“Oh . . . reading?”

“A starter book. Good news is, she hasn’t stopped. Without her phone, she’s hooked.”

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