Page 71 of The Sleight Before Christmas

“Where did we go?” I ask.

“We grew up and became parents,” he answers instantly, mentally in the same place.

“I’ve taken you for granted,” I admit, my heart speaking for me as he palms my back.

“Same, baby, same. I see you too, now. For who you are now, and I love what I see.”

I palm his jaw and softly say his name to stop his wandering eyes and hands.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him sincerely. “I’m sorry I let myself stray so far from the girl you met. Let myself get caught up in my ideas—”

“Fuck that, Serena, I’m falling madly in love with the woman you are now. Maybe that’s a horrible thing to say because of what it implicates, but I don’t mean it that way.”

“No, baby, no. I completely get what you mean. I see you, too.”

“We’ve changed probably half a dozen times in our marriage, and I’ve fallen in love with every single version of you, Serena ... but we played those games back then to mask the truth.”

“Thatch,” my eyes water as I shake my head, refusing what’s in his eyes. “I was just remembering getting kicked out of your truck because it wasn’t like—”

“Shh baby, it’s okay,” he murmurs. “You know,” he says thoughtfully, “I made a decision a long time ago that changed everything. It was before I even laid eyes on you.” He gently strokes my cheek with his thumb. “A decision that started me on the path to you. It was a split-second choice to listen to the voice in my head, to my gut, and I’ve never once regretted it. I’ve only ever been grateful for it. But even though it led me straight to you—to a life with you—I never truly felt I deserved you or like I belonged in this family. I always felt like I had to earn it. Earn my place with you—with your father at that table downstairs. I felt like an imposter for so long.” He scrapes the tears running downmy cheeks with gentle thumbs. “It’s the one thing you could have used against me in a nasty fight that would have taken me out. Deep down, you’ve known that but have never used it.”

“Because I don’t fucking believe it, Thatch, and never will. You aren’t your family, your parents.”

“Yeah, well, you’re the perfect combination of yours,” he boasts, “mixed with the little devil I love, and thank fuck for that.”

He gazes into my eyes, the inside of his screaming of devotion, of forever.

“But for whatever reason, you and your parents adamantly decided tomake me fit.I feel it now, baby, my place with you all.”

“Only now?” I gape at him. “I can’t believe you’re saying this. Thatch, you’ve always—”

He shakes his head gently. “But I didn’t truly feel it. No matter how good your parents have been to me, it always felt like a mix of pity, too.”

“I hate that,” I refute, “I fucking hate it.”

“No, baby. It was a mental barrier I could never break through—until now. It’s taken me a long, long time, but it’s so fucking sweet. Honestly, it feels good. The wait has been worth it,” he flashes me a boyish grin. “I feel a little invincible.”

I smirk at the fact he’s growing hard beneath me. “Seems that way.”

“Like I’m twenty again,” he smirks as he shifts us, lifting me to straddle him.

“Oh my God, Thatch, we haven’t—”

“Fucked three times within an hour in a decade?” His eyes pool as he adjusts himself on his back and lifts me to hover over him. “Yeah, well,” he pumps his hips, lightly brushing against me, and I know I’m going to feel this for a week.

“You bring out the beast in me, baby. Always have. And it goes without saying that this,” he thrusts up, filling me in one go, “is yours and only yours, but if you need me to prove it again and again,” thrust, thrust, thrust. “I’m more than happy to. Any objections?”

I slowly shake my head as our eyes close at the connection. When I’m fully seated, I take control, riding him slowly as our tongues tangle and dance. Our words intertwine as our fingers explore, the diamond on my wedding ring glinting in the light of the bathroom as I glide it over his skin. The feeling of today surreal as I tip over and fall—right back in love with my husband as I have so many times before.

When we finally pull ourselves from the floor sometime later, knees red, backs aching, I bask in the love I feel for him—in the long road it took us to get here. Leaving behind the heartache and uncertainty of the girl I was.

Happily trading that scary time for the love and certainty we feel now versus back then. Our fall was scary in a way, and our road was unclear.

It’s far different now. I used to miss the road, the uncertainty, the danger, and the intensity of the connection in the beginning, but all I feel now is grateful. Grateful for the fact we’re more solid than we’ve ever been. Even more so for whatever split decision he made back then that led him to me.

After showering, Serena and I made our way downstairs to a much calmer, much more communal atmosphere. The vibe more fitting of the Collins family’s typical Christmas. It was almost like magic as we descended the stairs. Erin and Brenden seemed to have ended their cold war—or at least called a temporary truce. And on this blessed third day, Eli rose, but not at all like our messiah. Instead, more in the fashion of an old-school Dracula, sans the creepy arm placement. The faint remnants of a penis still outlined on his face and slightly bloated from the carbs he inhaled in between long naps, he came to, blinking rapidly as Brenden greeted him with a “welcome back brother.”

Even Ruby seemed to have forgotten her grudge for us as she handed me my prize-winning cup of snowman soup, declaring me the winner.

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