Page 32 of The Sleight Before Christmas

I roll my eyes. “Follow our lead, and if you guys don’t mind, let’s try to keep cursing to a minimum. I know I’m the worst, but let’s just try. Do not undermine us. We’ll call for backup if we need it.”

“We trust you,” Ruby states, the concern in her voice evident as she keeps my gaze.

“With the actions we’ve decided to take, it might be hard to watch,” I warn them all.

“Yeah, well, desperate times,” Ruby says in support, “and I have a few old tricks up my own sleeve, my boy. If you need them.”

“I’m counting on it,” I wink at her. “You have permission to get ‘em, Grammy.”

“Is this why we haven’t taken them in months?” Whitney asks.

I swallow as Serena’s eyes water.

“Oh, sis, you could have told us,” Whitney consoles.

“We’re embarrassed,” I admit aloud, gripping Serena’s hand.

“Nothing to be ashamed of, do you hear me?” Ruby admonishes. “I’ve been there, as have many other parents. Brenden’s kids are freaks of nature in that respect,” she offers, and Erin smiles, taking zero offense.

“I’m the perfect father,” Brenden says before narrowly missing Erin’s killing blow.

“Any questions?” Serena asks.

Brenden holds his hand up, and Ruby snaps it back down with words alone. “I’ve hidden it so well this year, my baby boy, that your lips won’t be tasting that damned nog untilI sayit’s time.”

“Shit,” he utters. “Fine, but if we’re going to deal with Operation Crack Bebe’s kids, I’m going to needsomethingto take the edge off.”

“You touch my eggnog before I say the word, and I’m going to take something off you, son. I’m not bullshitting.”

“You know, you could make a double batch, so this conversation is moot—” he shrinks under Ruby’s glare. “Fine,” he grumbles. “I won’t touch it ... today. No promises about tomorrow.”

“Gravity,” Ruby says, ending their back and forth and unifying us with a single word. “Understood?”

All of us nod, and as everyone starts to file out of the bedroom, Allen palms my shoulder, holding me behind. “Tell me you know this is not your fault.”

I turn back to him and close the door, seeing his concern etched everywhere. “I’m trying not to blame myself. Serena is too, but ultimately, we are responsible.”

“You are and aren’t. As parents, we get to demonstrate and teach them the difference in what one decision looks like and warn them about others. I know how terrified you were when Serena got pregnant with Gracie, but you were a born father,Thatcher. And since have been a natural. A better father than me, if I’m honest.”

“I can’t see that.”

“You’re more attentive. Which I regret. Youarea good father, Thatch.”

“Thank you, and I promise, I’m trying not to take it too much to heart, but Jesus, it stings. Truth be told, I haven’t been so attentive since the business took off.”

“Hey, it’s sometimes hard to know how to balance if you don’t know where to. Just trust your instincts. But know that sometimes life has a way of giving us a taste of what we fear most to let us know just how little we need to fear it. There’s no real control, Thatch. I think that’s the scariest part of parenting. If I would have known how terrifying being a father was, and not just because the newborn’s head wobbles like it’s about to fall off,” he chuckles, “but every single day, Jesus, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done it, but my worst fear is—”

“I got a glimpse of it, Allen,” I relay, the image popping in again, “and I promise you I’m only more fucking terrified.”

“Want to talk about it?” He offers.

“I can’t, truly, I can’t. But when I can, I will.”

He nods.

“Thatch, Gracie doesn’t know any other life than the one you’ve provided and the way you taught her. If there’s a bad example for her behavior, you didn’t set it. Tell me you believe me.”

“I appreciate what you’re saying, I do, but my ears are fucking ringing. You’re screaming at me, Dad.”

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