Page 43 of Don't Look Back

Just once, she could have hugged the woman and told her how bright and beautiful she’d been at seventeen and how grateful Freya was to have her in her life now.

She didn’t want to lose her before they could have that conversation. Kira was the only person who remained from Freya’s old life, when she had a family, before she became a covert operator.

Freya’s husband, Cassius, entered her office. He took one look at her face and said, “What’s going on, Frey?”

His concern triggered another tear. Or maybe it was just her complicated, secret history with Kira. She swiped at it. “Nothing.”

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Liar.” He nodded toward the folded letter she gripped tightly. “What’s in that letter? This isn’t the first time you’ve held it and cried.”

She let out a deep breath. “I…I can’t tell you. It’s not my letter. Not my story to tell.”

Should she have burned the letter when she found it? Whyhadshe kept it?

Because Kira lost Apollo too.

Freya had felt so alone in her grief. Her brother’s girlfriend had been a nightmare to deal with. In spite of the fact that Apollo clearly didn’t deserve her, Kira had known him for years and loved him. Her grief had been deep and real.

When she’d read the letter all those years ago, she’d felt a connection to Kira.

“Fine. But whose story is it?”

“Kira’s.”

“From when you were kids?”

“Yes.”

“If it’s about her father, it’s relevant.”

“It’s not. But damn, I’m so worried. Rand will be with her the next time she meets with her so-called cousin.”

“That could be dangerous.”

“Not if she doesn’t know. As long as she believes he’s who he says he is, she’s not in danger from him. He’s obviously using her for something. This way, we can find out what that is.”

“When she learns the truth, she’s going to be angry at you, but Rand’ll be the one to pay for it.”

She felt sick at the idea of spiking things with Rand for Kira. But this was what she did. She was an operator who knew the game and how to get the best results. To protect Kira, they needed intel. To get that intel, they needed Kira’s sweet unworldliness to work in their favor. But it came with a steep price. “I’m afraid when all this is over, Kira’s going to hate me more than she already does.”

In her mind, she gave the real truth she couldn’t share with Cassius:I’m afraid she’ll hate me more than she hates my brother.

Apollo was Freya’s brother.

Herdeadbrother.

To say Rand was stunned was an understatement. Freya had never mentioned her brother. Or her parents. But then, Freya never talked about her life before the CIA. She didn’t really talk about the CIA portion of her life either, but Rand had first met her and her husband in Djibouti before they were a couple. He’d been on several ops that she’d orchestrated or facilitated during the months his team had been deployed to the Horn of Africa.

She’d been one of the best in the field intelligence-gatherers he’d ever worked with. He respected her, but she’d been hard to like back then. Of course, this was true for most special operators, especially ones in positions like hers, where secrets and manipulation were paramount to getting the job done. It wasn’t until after she’d left the CIA that they’d really become friends.

He tried to imagine the well of pain she’d suffered at losing her family all at once just before her eighteenth birthday. Now he understood the cold operative she’d been a little better. But it was Kira’s loss and pain that mattered here and now. “Apollo was a dick, you know.”

She nodded. “I know. Still hurt at the time.”

It still hurt hernow, or she wouldn’t have invoked his name when she was delirious after being abducted.

She’d looked at Rand and thought of Apollo. That had to mean she’d also felt the chemistry that had burned bright the day they met. But Kira’s words that day had also revealed her deep distrust.

And oh hell. Now he understood how seeing him with Staci would have an extra edge of pain, even though he and Kira weren’t seeing each other, secretly or otherwise. When he’d asked her out on Tuesday, she’d deflected, mentioning his girlfriend. He’d figured she meant Staci, but she also could have been probing, asking if he was the kind of guy who had a girlfriend but hit on other women.

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