Page 39 of Love In Translation

“I’m sorry, Rheo,” Fletch told her, placing his hand on hers. He rubbed the inside of her wrist with his thumb. “You don’t like being out of control or failing, do you?”

“Does anyone?” she asked, trying to be flippant and missing it by a mile.

Abi left the booth and bent to kiss Rheo’s cheek. Her lips brushed her ear and Rheo heard Abi’s instruction to talk to him,dammit. Rheo pushed her half-eaten waffle away. She stared out the window onto Main Street. At this early hour, the roads were empty, and lovelier for it. It was a pretty town... Nothertown, of course, but still quaint. And charming in its own way.

“So, you got disciplined, and then what happened?”

Rheo sighed, annoyed. “How come I have to answer all your questions, but you don’t answer any of mine?”

“I do,” he told her, sounding firm. “Think about it.”

Rheo tried to recall Fletch refusing to answer a direct question. He hadn’t. He hadn’t volunteered any information, but he never ignored a direct question. Damn, how annoying.

“What made you want to be an explorer?” she demanded. He’d opened the door and she intended to walk through.

“I spent two months in the hospital when I was fifteen and was housebound for another nine. I escaped into books about expeditions and adventurers, real and fictional. I vowed I would explore the world one day, and nothing would hold me back.”

Oh...oh,wow. Fletch was so vital, energy crackled off him, and she couldn’t imagine him being sick for so long, living without any spark.

“Did you have cancer?” she quietly asked.

He shook his head. “I got strep throat, then I developed rheumatic fever. I got over that but couldn’t shake the extreme tiredness, joint and muscle pain. They eventually diagnosed me with chronic fatigue syndrome.”

He rubbed his jaw, then the back of his neck. “When I was sick with CFS, I felt confined and hemmed in, by where I lived, my staid parents, and my illness. I promised myself I’d never be that person again. I developed a profound need to chase freedom and to see what was over the horizon.”

Fletch lifted his coffee mug, sipped, and his piercing stare pinned her to her seat. “My turn... So, what happened after you were disciplined?”

He wasn’t letting this go. “I choked, I guess. I started overthinking and overanalyzing, and I couldn’t put it behind me. How can I make you understand?” She hesitated, trying to find an analogy that worked. “Have you had a cracked tooth?”

He nodded.

“Your tongue keeps going to it, right? That’s how it was with me. I kept niggling at it, and the more attention I gave my mistakes, the more I screwed up. Anything and everything made me second-guess myself, and my work suffered. I was corrected twice during a live translating session, was weepy, and couldn’t concentrate.”

“But why did you flame out so quickly? How did you go from making a few mistakes to needing to take six months off? I’m curious about your lack of... I don’t want to upset or offend you...”

After all this, she could take it. Her hide was marginally thicker these days. “Go on.”

“I’m wondering why you weren’t more resilient, why you couldn’t accept the mistake and shrug it off. Why couldn’t you learn from it and move on?”

Rheo thought she might as well tell him. Maybe if she explained it to him, it would make more sense to her.

“It’s because I don’t make mistakes,” she replied. She waved her hands in the air when she noticed his frown. “I’m not perfect, that’s not what I’m saying. I plan my life to ensure I make as few mistakes as possible, and when I do mess up, the mistakes aren’t big ones. I’ve spent a lot of time formulating the life I want, working out the steps, the desired outcomes, how to climb over or skirt any obstacles in my way.”

“That’s a project management plan, not a life.”

Precisely.And it worked.

“If I know what to expect, what comes next, then I don’t make mistakes.” Rheo dropped her shoulders and rolled them back, trying to ease the tension in her tight muscles. “Also, when you live a rigid life, when you do what is expected of you, live a life in a certain way, you don’t have to cope with the unexpected. I don’t like the unexpected. I find it extremely stressful.”

Rheo played with the leather and copper bracelets on Fletch’s strong wrist. “Our childhoods made us who we were. You felt hemmed in. I was given too much freedom, and my childhood was nomadic and unstable. My parents, like you, thrive on the unexpected.”

“While my life is exciting, a lot of what I do is carefully planned. While it looks like I—and my crew—take huge risks, we’ve calculated the odds, and they’re heavily in favor of us succeeding. I don’t have a death wish, Rheo.”

Maybe not, but he did spend most of his time dancing with nature, and everyone knew how tempestuous and fickle she could be.

“Thank God for Paddy. I went to live with her when I started high school. I look up to her a lot. She was, is, demanding and has high standards. She fully supported my dreams for a stable life, a different life from my parents’.”

“Keep talking, Rhee. I like listening to you.”

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