Page 12 of Turkey Trouble

She pulls the phone from her ear and sets me on speaker. “I’m writing up an invoice. For every minute of my time you waste, I’m charging you five hundred bucks. Then I’m charging Phil the Dill, too. Because it’s clearly his fault we’re out in this cold.”

“H-how does she know my name?”

I side eye the man and chuckle. “She knows everything. Listen, Soph. Phil is having a bad day, so he’s contemplating jumping and smooshing his face on the concrete.”

She stands silent for a beat… then, “So?”

“So he has a daughter who deserves to say goodbye. I obviously don’t have her number, but I figure…”

“Yeah, I got you.” She taps at her phone and does the thing she does. “We’re in minutetwo, by the way. And research costs more. I’m itemizing this invoice.”

“Stop.” Phil shudders and folds back, away from the ledge. “Tell her to stop!”

“Erin Welling,” Soph says anyway. “Only daughter of Phillip and Alana Welling. Seventeen years old. She has her license already, Phil. Good for her. She could probably drive the hearse if you spell that out in your will.” She glances up at us. “You have a will, right? Those are important.”

“Malone!” He tries to yank his hand free of mine. “Stop!”

“I’m texting you her number,” Soph continues. “He’s about to be on prime-time news, though, so you better hurry and make that call before she finds out the hard way.”

I smell her first. I feel her in the air. My lips curl into a smile completely other than everything else happening around me. Then finally, I hear her.

“If you jump, I’ll have to saw your skull open, Mr. Welling.”

Together, we turn as one. But because of his panic, Phil nearly yeets himself off the building in terror.

“Dude!” I yank him back. “Be careful, or you might fall.”

“Intracranial hemorrhage means you’ll be bleeding inside your skull. Even if you live beyond the fall, the pressure will kill you in a few days, anyway. That means I’ll have to take off your skull cap and remove your brain.”

His face turns green in an instant.

“When I’m done and I’ve written the final reports, I’ll have to sew you up again. Because people get really upset when Great Grandpa Joe’s skull falls off during the open casket. It’s happened.” But then she scoffs. “Not to me. But I hear about it in the industry.”

“Y-you’re the coroner.”

“Medical examiner,” she corrects. “Not exactly the same job. But for now?” She wrinkles her nose and nods. “Essentially, yeah.”

“You’re not wearing shoes, Mayet.” I look down at her painted toes, turning blue from the cold. “I’m not pleased.”

“Well, I’m not pleased we have a whole family reunion sizzling over at the apartment. Especially considering the plans Ithoughtwe had for the night.” She looks to Phil and firms her lips. “We were going to drink and make out. But now we’re out here in the cold and I think the mayor heard me talking about inappropriate sexual things. Actually,” she looks over the ledge. “I might jump too. Way better than looking that man in the eyes again and thinking about the things I said.”

“You’re not jumping.” I grab her hand, much like I did Phil’s, and yank her away from the edge. Then I look to my captive and try for kindness. “Please do the right thing. Erin deserves better than to watch this shit play out on the news.”

“We’re on minute four, Malone.” Soph’s voice echoes through my phone. “That’s five thousand dollars.”

“You said it was five hundred a minute!”

“I also said research costs more. You knew what would happen when you began this thing.”

I look to the man and grit, “You’re costing me a fortune. I could have given you that money to offset medical bills. Now we’re freezing our nuts off and my ass hurts. Please, can we get down?”

“Your daughter deserves better,” Minka croons, oddly serious and just real enough to tug at my heart. “She deserves answers and a father who loves her enough to not do this.”

“I love her so much. I feel like Ihaveto do this.” He breaks, his shoulders slumping and his breath exploding on devastating sobs. “I love her so much, I want to take away the pain I know she’ll feel when she watches me waste away in the hospital.”

“Well…” Minka considers for a long beat, glancing my way with eyes warmer than melted chocolate. Until finally, with a sigh, she crouches and meets Phil’s stare. “As a girl whose father committed suicide without ever explaining why or leaving a letter or allowing any kind of closure at all…” She gently takes his hand, twining their fingers together so if he jumps, she’s coming too.

That reality almost beats out the stunned devastation strangling my heart.