Page 44 of Velvet Deception

Sofia sat with us, but she didn’t pitch in or offer her thoughts on the game like I did. Staring into space, absent and vacant, she looked a lot like she did in the aftermath of those men breakingin and wanting drugs, assuming she’d have some just because she was a nurse.

“Mama, I’m sleepy,” Ramon said after I beat him at the game.

“You really must be,” I teased as he stood. “You let me beat you.”

He smiled, so sleepy as he headed off to his bedroom.

“I’m going to…” Sofia didn’t even finish her sentence, distracted and in her own little world of worry to effectively communicate.

I sat on the chair and watched her trail after her son to tuck him in for bed.

Not again.

Not on my watch.

Watching over them was the job I wanted to have for the rest of my life. That was how much they mattered to me. I watched over Ramon at the market. I’d defend the home if anyone came here to try to take him away. A cursory look from walking around the building led me to the belief that the building wasn’t as safe and secure as it could be, but considering the poverty in this part of town, my standards were probably a bit too lofty to make proper security a reality here.

I would watch over Sofia, too, with no concerns about defending her like I already had. But as I walked into her bedroom to wait for her to finish tucking Ramon to bed, I prepared myself to watch over her and make sure she wasn’t spiraling into another funk or mood that she’d get stuck in. One of those trauma-induced lockdowns. Or another occasion of shock.

She came into the room after a long while. Wearing a towel after her shower, her hair damp, she shut the door after her. With her head hanging down, I knew this wouldn’t be easy.

“Diego…” she said softly, in such a woeful tone that it tugged at my heartstrings. She walked toward me as I sat on the edge of the bed.

“My angel. It will be all right.”

She shook her head, not making eye contact.

I would be damned if she spiraled like this again. I knew she was stronger than this. She was the bravest soul, overcoming what had happened to her and being resilient to keep her son safe. This gorgeous nurse was due her moments, but I was here to watch over her. It was my job to keep her from dwelling and being rooted so deeply that she couldn’t crawl back up to breathe fresh air.

“I…” She sighed, standing right in front of me.

I would be strong for her.

“I’m right here, Sofia. I’m not going anywhere and I swear to you, I promise I will protect you and Ramon.”

Still nothing.

“If the Cartel is increasing their efforts to look for him, I will not let them get you.”

She looked up now, showing me how unshed tears gathered in her eyes. “But what if they’ll just go after you, too, to finish what they started?”

“Sofia, we don’t know what happened to me. We don’t know if anyone tried to kill me or if I’d just been in an accident. Youare only assuming and speculating that the Cartel is to blame for why I was knocked out.”

“They are behind everything bad and evil here.”

I took her hands, tugging her closer. While I wanted her to grow and move on from her fears, I didn’t want to force her with a crass and inappropriate suggestion like telling her to just get over it. She needed to work through her past issues and her deep resentment of the Cartel, but no progress could be made if she stayed stuck in fear or shock.

She stepped toward me, standing between my knees.

Everything I said went unheard. All that I said went in one ear and out the other, and I knew drastic measures would be necessary to reach her, to pull her back to this moment. The first time we shared this bed, I had to continuously draw her back to the present, to stay with me and see me, not the memories that seemed to bombard her. And now, as she got stuck in fearing the future, all these terrible what-ifs that she envisioned of the future, she was still not living in the moment, to her fullest.

She would not be a shell.

Not on my watch.

“Sofia.” I reached forward to tug the bottom of her towel. The worn terry fabric dropped to the floor.

She didn’t move. Arms low, chin down, she didn’t seem open to reacting to me at all. If I didn’t know she was struggling to accept this increased fear, I would’ve guessed she was merely being stubborn and difficult, begging for a spanking. But she wasn’t. I respected that she didn’t want to be locked in fear like this.

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