Page 34 of Velvet Deception

She narrowed her eyes, doubtful. “Becauseyousay so?”

I mirrored her, narrowing my eyes right back and scowling. “Yeah. I do. Whatever the fuck I did in my life before I was knocked out gave me this power. I can’t explain how I could fight them as well as I did. I don’t know how to understand that it all just came to me, like muscle memory.”

I couldn’t go so far as to tell her that I feared I was a bad person before that night she encountered me in the alley. I didn’t want her to push me away after her open admission that she was determined to shelter and protect herself and Ramon fromallmen.

“But you saw. We all three saw that I could handle them.”

I can handle so much more.

“I did see that,” she conceded as she again tried to look away as if facing me directly was too much of a challenge to ride through, “but?—”

I brought her chin back to where it was so she’d look at me. “But nothing. I will protect you, Sofia. As long as I’m here, I vow it. Iwillprotect you. I didn’t have to think about it. I didn’t have to strategize or make up my mind. The second I realized you and Ramon were in danger, I acted.”

How could she not see that? How could she be skeptical that I could protect her, even from her deepest fears?

“I’m not asking you to?—”

“You don’t need toaskme.” I smoothed her hair back from her face, imploring her with my eyes to believe me, to hear all that I was trying to convey to her. “It is my honor to protect you. You, the angel who risked herself to save me. I will never be able to repay you for saving me first.”

“Oh.” She bit on her lower lip, seeming too testy and combative for my liking. “So it’s just payback, huh? I did you a favor and now you did me a favor? I guess we’re even then.”

“No! That does not make us even and this isn’t some contest or tally of who does what. I want to save you each and every time you need it.”

Her eyes shuttered as she frowned at me, and I knew I was pushing too far. But I couldn’t help it. She had to understand. “I realize now how little faith you can have. After what you went through, I can see how you would prefer to be independent and fight your own battles because you’re the only person you can trust.”

She lay there, still and quiet. In the depth of her eyes, I saw how much she was struggling to deny it. Then she snapped to attention and shook her head.

“I refuse to believe that.”

“Sofia…”

“No. You will remember who you are one day. One day, someday, there is a big chance that it will all come back to you. I’m confident you will remember who you are one day. That you’ve had a life before that night you were knocked out. That you had a purpose and an existence before me.”

But what if it was all bad? What ifIwas bad?

Since killing those men, I had to seriously believe there was a chance that my previous life wasn’t one of good standing. That I could’ve been mixed up with dangerous things.

“Someone has to be missing you.” She stroked her hand down my cheek, gazing up at me with sadness. “And you’ll return to them. To who you were before.”

Not if it was bad. How could I?

“I don’t think you’re right. I’m not sure that there is some grand life that I left behind.” I tried not to shiver at the soothing caress she gave me, running her hand down my face, almost like petting me, but not. “Ramon and I were talking earlier, and he said something that stuck with me. I can see how perceptive he is, but at first, I was skeptical, thinking he was just talking nonsense.”

She furrowed her brow. “What did he say?”

“That I would know if I had someone. If I were missing someone.”

He’d explained it as a roundabout way of saying he didn’t think he had a dad. With the backstory Sofia had just given me, I saw how he didn’t. That bright, brave boy was the product of rape, but that wasn’t a father. The sick old drunk who Sofia said had raped her was just a sperm donor. One she hadn’t wanted.

Anger sparked anew in me at how she’d confided that she was a virgin before she’d been taken. It didn’t matter who the man was, what they did, or what he called himself. It was a crime, a grievance that she didn’t deserve to ever suffer. I prayed I could find her rapist and kill him ten times over, just to wring out every last drop of justice.

“He said he would know if something ever happened to you. In his heart. And he said that if I had a wife or girlfriend, or a child, my heart would know even if I don’t know myself right now.”

“That’s a fantasy. Just talking about wishful thinking.” She shook her head again, stubborn not to hear me and believe. “You came from somewhere, Diego. You came from someone. I know he can be a daydreamer like that, but it’s not proof that you aren’t missing. I see how badly you want to remember who you are, and I wish that for you. Even if it means that when you do recall who you are, you’ll go back to that life.”

“No.” I hovered over her, putting my weight on my forearms. “No, my angel. I won’t.”

“That’s nonsense. You can’t know that.”

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