Page 11 of Fall at Once

Was I subconsciously hoping to run into Madi today?

Unfortunately, yes, I was.

All night long, I had been thinking about her. Instead of getting her out of my head, my brain had latched on to her, dissecting, remembering, and appreciating the vivid colors of her hair in the sun, the heady scent of her perfume in the cab, the wayher cheeks would blush pink with a shyness I found absolutely riveting. I didn’t know her well enough to like her this much—yet. Damn it, noyet.There could be noyetbetween Madi and me.

She was Gigi’s granddaughter.

She was too close to home.

Above all, I wasn’t ready, and neither were my kids, no matter what they said.

It was too bad she was unwittingly about to become part of my daily routine as I, along with most of the firefighters in Cozy Creek, spent a lot of time at the Confectionery. Her coffee was terrible, but her breakfast sandwiches and protein shakes were the best. Plus, it was only a quick walk around the corner from the firehouse.

I was off work today, but that didn’t mean I didn’t need to get a workout in. After dropping Evan off, I swung into the firehouse parking lot to meet up with my buddy Pace and youngest brother Tate for a run. Both were also firefighters.

“Hey,” Tate said, already warming up. “Pace isn’t going to make it today. It’s just you, me, and the fascinating text Gigi sent me last night. Madi, huh?”

“What?”

“You and Madi. You two are a thing now? I think it’s great.”

My eyebrows shot to my hairline. I was taken aback. Had someone been reading my mind? “There is nothingbetween Madi and me.I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You sure about that? I didn’t believe it, but I do now. You’re being kind of defensive.” He paused to wait for my reaction,frowning when he didn’t get one. “Anyway, Gigi said to ask you about her and report back. I’m letting you know upfront. I’m no matchmaker. I’ll tell her whatever you want me to.”

“That’s good. I’m glad to hear it. Thank you. I have no desire to be match-made.”

His lips quirked up at the corner. “No matter how gorgeous she is, right?”

“That has no bearing on anything. Can we run?”

He swept an arm out in invitation. “Be my guest.”

I took off down the street faster than my usual pace. The light breeze whipped across my skin as my feet flew across the paved sidewalk. I couldn’t get away fast enough.

“Wait up.” Tate huffed at my side when he caught up. “It’s almost like you’re running from something.”

“I’m running from you.” I shot him a sidelong glare. “I’m not interested in being match-made by you or anyone. And I’m not interested in being psychoanalyzed either, for that matter.”

“Touchy this morning, are you?”

“Nope.” I ran faster as he burst into laughter behind me. He knew me too well, the ass.

We took our usual path down the center of town and through the park, with him hot on my heels as I deliberately outpaced him. I was in no mood to talk. But ever since the divorce, I never was.

Since my marriage exploded, I have kept everything inside.

Who could possibly want to know how much I still wondered where I’d gone wrong?

Or how much I wish I had done things differently?

Or especially, how deep down, I was glad she was gone.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

She was the mother of my children, and when I realized her cheating upset me for all the wrong reasons, I was ashamed of myself. The hit to my pride felt worse than the hit to my heart.Shedidn’t break me, but having everyone know what she did to me almost did.

What kind of husband feels that way?A terrible one.

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