Page 114 of The Hopelessly Bromantic Duet

I don’t even know what to say to her. It’s all too much. Too Hollywood. Too unbelievable.

I thank her then slip my cell phone out of my pocket to snap a shot of the catering spread before I leave. I slide into the town car a minute later, my bones buzzing. When we’re on the road, I call Mason back. “So, what did you think?”

“I think armadillos suit you, and so does LA. You look happy, so I’m guessing you needed sunshine. And... Robert just called to say he’s sending a term sheet over tonight.”

This feels so unreal. But as the car slogs through traffic, I’m struck by one more revelation. Even though I usually keep this shit to myself, I want to tell Jude.

I want to let him know about my crazy day. Find out what he thinks about it.

But I also don’t want him to get weird like Flynn did. Or, really, like Jude kinda did on Sunday at the café.

Except, it should be okay if Jude has his own feelings about this maybe-kinda-sorta deal. He’s an artist. I get that. But he’s shown me his wounds; he’s opened up about his sore spots. If I want to be a damn good boyfriend, I need to share things in a way that shows I give a shit about his sensitive heart too.

Share in a way that says,Hey babe, what do you think?and not,look at me, look at me!

If there’s one thing I know about Jude, it’s that he likes fun, sex, books, and food he can eat.

And, well, me. He likes me.

I send him a text.

TJ:Hey, want to go to the Silver Spinner Neon Bowling Lanes and see if you can beat me? Then, sushi? Just the fish for you, though, babe. I’ll happily eat all your rice.

Then I follow with a second note.

TJ:If you’re very good, I’ll let you blow me after. Sixty-nine if you beat me like you did in pinball, you secret pinball wizard.

Jude:Fuck me. The shoot is running late. Can you please be naked and covered in sushi when I return later? Like, on a table and all. I don’t even require chopsticks.

TJ:Mark that down with things that will never happen. (Me covered in sushi, not me fucking you. The latter is of the name-the-time-and-place variety.)

Jude:Someday, you’ll be my sushi feast. But for now, can I trouble you to order me some yellowtail rolls for takeout? Wait. Nope. Fuck me again. I mean yellowtail and edamame. Do not tempt me with rice. Seriously. Promise me you will never bring rice near me. I might want rice more than your cock at the end of a long day.

TJ:You said, “fuck me twice.” What I hear is you want double-sex tonight. Got it.

Jude:At last! He gets my order right! Yellowtail and a long cock!

But when nine p.m. rolls around with no sign of Jude, it’s clear neither sushi nor dick is on the menu for him tonight. His next note comes with a crying eggplant emoji.

Jude:I hate everyone. Hollywood time is a bigger lie thanIt must have gone to my spam folder.

TJ:OrYour hair looks nice?

Jude:Wait, are you saying you don’t like my hair?

TJ:I like your hair all the time, especially when my fingers are tugging on it and your lips are on my dick.

Jude:It’s sooooo late. I’m hallucinating about eating white rice off your dick. Send help soon.

TJ:Fine, fine. I’ll be covered in yellowtail when you return.

Mason sends me a term sheet a little later, and it still seems too good to be true, so I go to bed.

It’ll be there in the morning to sign, after all. Then, I can try again to share my news with Jude, maybe invite him to go to Amsterdam with me, and then finally ask him to be my top-notch boyfriend.

39

SHOW AND TELL

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