Page 59 of Acedia

“I’m okay,” I murmured, stroking my thumb over his skin in slow, soothing circles to help him sleep. “I’m happy. Happier than I realized, I promise.”

Chapter 18

Astrange sound woke me up. A sort of impatient huffing noise that belonged nowhere near my luxurious bedroom. Fortunately, I caught myself before I startled, because if I had, I’d have knocked Iris clear off the bed and on top of Tilly, who was the source of the annoyed sounds.

She’d slept here last night? I hadn’t meant to fall asleep—we hadn’t even had dinner. Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised that I had. Holding Iris had been such a relaxing experience, no wonder I’d drifted off.

Tilly huffed impatiently, giving me the most pitiful expression I’d ever seen. I’d never closed the door last night, so she was able to get out at least. She was probably hungry.

What was I meant to do now? A member of staff would be arriving at any moment with my tray of tea. I didn’t want anyone seeing Iris in a state of undress except me.

As carefully as I could, I extricated myself from Iris’s surprisingly tight grip around my arm and slipped out of bed, intending to intercept the staff at the door.

“Oh. Good morning,” Iris said, sounding as surprised as I’d felt when I’d woken up.

“We fell asleep,” I said quickly, standing awkwardly next to the bed. What was Idoing? I was never flustered like this.

Then again, I didn’t usually have the most intensely intimate experience of my life—without even coming—with someone I’d proposed to and been rejected by. And that I very much still had feelings for that were absolutely not reciprocated.

I didn’t regret anything we’d done last night, but I did question the wisdom of my choices just a little. This wasn’t going to help me move on.

I didn’t want to move on.

Iris smiled, and it was a little softer and lazier than her usual smile. Her hair was a tangled mess, and there was a pink patch on her cheek where she’d been lying on it, and everything about her was a little more rumpled than normal.

It was adorable. I wished I could see this sight every morning when I woke up.

“I should go. Tilly must be starving.”

Tilly sighed loudly, apparently in agreement.

“Do you want to stay for breakfast? I can ask that they send a bowl of plain meat up for her.”

“You would do that? That would be so nice.”

It was really the least I could do, and I hated how grateful Iris sounded for it. She deserved to be spoiled. I should have been doing a better job of that—even if it was just as a friend.

A friend who knew how good her pussy tasted, but a friend nonetheless.

“I’ll go arrange our meal, then be right back,” I promised. “Do you need anything before I go?”

“I can manage.” Iris smiled, and I leaned in, instinctively pressing my lips to her temple before I let myself out of the room. I noted that Iris didn’t assume that she was interrupting anything this time, so I supposed she’d realized that I didn’t really do anything with my day.

Or I hadn’t, in the past.

Then again, the more involved I was becoming in things, the more I wanted to do. There was something surprisingly satisfying about… making stuff happen. It had never occurred to me that it was something I’d enjoy. It was just that I also enjoyed my afternoon naps too. Was it too much to ask to have both?

I jogged down to the kitchen, deciding to take some initiative and get things done myself.

“Calix,” I said cheerfully, wandering into the kitchen while he sharpened his carving knife, looking as though he was contemplating throwing it at my head. “Might I make up a breakfast tray to share with a friend this morning?”

“As in,you’llmake up the try?” he asked dubiously. “Don’t you usually send your staff down for that?”

“I’m trying something new.”

“Why?”

“Can I not try something new? Is that such an odd concept?”

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