Page 45 of Acedia

Andrus escorted me and Tilly on the long walk to Orabelle’s rooms, careful not to touch me the entire time and speaking as little as possible. He was often stationed near my room andalways volunteered to guide me wherever I needed to go, but I also got the impression that he didn’t particularlylikeme. Or, at the very least, he was wary of my company.

It made me miss Damen even more.

“Here you go,” Andrus mumbled, a door creaking as he pushed it open.

I held on to Tilly’s collar, depending on her to lead the way since Andrus hadn’t given me any direction. Fortunately, the room seemed to be flat and entirely clear of obstacles—unlike most of the non-corridor rooms in the palace.

“Ah, here she is,” a voice said, startling me. It was very clearly an elder female voice, and there was a pang of grief in my chest for Nana.

“Are you Orabelle?”

“I am. And you’re Iris. The famous Iris.”

I laughed uncertainly. How could I be famous? I only went between my room and the nursery, and barely spoke to anyone.

“Hmmm. What to make of you?” Orabelle murmured. I felt her circling me, taking me in from every angle, and I couldn’t decide whether to stay perfectly still or ask Tilly to get me out of here. “You’re the one who has my Damen all in a tizzy.”

“I don’t know about that,” I replied slowly, trying to remember who Alyndra said she was. “Are you Damen’s mother?”

“In many of the ways that matter, I suppose. He didn’t come from my womb, his own mother died on a feeding trip to the human realm shortly after she gave birth.”

A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed past it painfully. How awful for Damen to have to grow up without his mother. How awful for his mother, to have her time with her child cut so very short. Then again, perhaps she’d been a mother like Moriah? It was difficult to reconcile the romantic view of motherhood that I’d always heard about in movies with my own experience of it.

“I’m very sorry to hear that,” I rasped.

Orabelle leaned in close enough that the tip of her horn brushed the side of my head and inhaled deeply. She must be much shorter than Damen.

“You are, aren’t you? There’s no lying about your intentions when you’re a Hunter. Ex-Hunter. Whatever you lot call yourselves. There are no polite, empty apologies. When you feel sorry, you smell like it. That must be a strange adjustment for you, being so easy to read.”

“Not really,” I admitted. “I’ve never been very good at lying about my intentions. My nana always encouraged me to be kind and polite, and I try to live my life accordingly.”

Orabelle hummed again. “Interesting. I’ve never put much stock in kindness, personally. It seems like more hassle than it’s worth.”

“It seems like more effort to ruin someone’s day than to bring joy to it.”

I’d said the words without thinking, and they took me by surprise. Usually, I wasn’t so quick to disagree with someone. Especially my elders.

Orabelle snorted. “I can assure you it’s not. But perhaps it would be for you—you’ve got this… inherentgoodnessabout you. Like any form of unkindness would require special effort. It’s not something I’ve ever encountered before—I can see why Damen is so fascinated by you. I hear he proposed to you and you told him no.”

I winced at the reminder. “It was very unexpected—”

“You don’t need to justify yourself to me,” she cackled. “He’s a headstrong lad with an ego as big as this palace. You’ve done him an enormous favor, really. It’s good for him to have to actually work for something—someone—he wants for a change.”

I didn’t think he was doing that, but I decided against arguing. Damen hadn’t visited after I’d rejected him. Clearly, a relationship wasn’t something he was interested in any longer.

Which was completely reasonable—I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I put myself out there like that and the person I asked said no. Of course, that idea was now off the table.

“He hasn’t gone around telling the court that he proposed, just so you know. He hasn’t even told Allerick—he knows what a bollocking he’d get for it.” Orabelle laughed to herself. “Silly lad. He’ll learn. There are lots of secrets at court lately,” she added slyly.

“Are there?” It seemed like she wanted me to ask follow-up questions, but my limited social experiences hadn’t really prepared me for this.

“Oh, yes. You’re one of them.”

“I’ma secret?” I frowned, running my fingers through Tilly’s fur. “But I’ve been to dinner in the dining hall and everything.”

“You’d better sit down.” I startled as she grabbed my forearm, dragging me a few steps to a seat. “I’m going to tell you this because I disapprove of the decision not to.”

“Okay.” I folded my hands in my lap as Tilly lay down on the floor with a long-suffering sigh.

---