Page 35 of Acedia

Damen was such a natural, not just with children, but in front of a crowd in general. I couldn’t imagine being so comfortable with that much attention.

I startled at the feeling of something pricking at my legs, realizing they must be claws, though much less deadly than a full-grown adult’s. They snagged on the fabric of my borrowed skirt, scratching lightly at my skin.

Damen was back at my side in an instant, and I felt as he carefully removed the small hands from my legs. “Sorry, I think she was trying to climb up and sit on your lap.”

“She can if she wants to,” I replied, lowering one hand in her general direction. She immediately grabbed onto my fingers, and I felt Damen correct her hold so that her claws were away from my skin. After a moment, he helped lift her, and she landed softly on my lap, wriggling back against my torso in her bulky cloth diaper while still holding on to my thumb.

She was a lot sturdier than I expected. Then again, Shades appeared to be much larger than humans, so that made sense.

“She probably can’t speak to you,” Damen said, his voice softer now. “Or not very well, at least. Shades learn lots of languages—both ones from our realm and from yours. Her vocabulary is probably a bit of a mish-mash of all of them at this point, especially here at court. Infants who grow up in their home region might not learn any dialect other than their home language for many years.”

“Hi,” I whispered, carefully maintaining my grip on the wriggly Shade on my lap as she turned around and climbed up on her knees, releasing my hand so she could play with my hair. I was a teensy bit nervous at how close her claws were to my face, but Damen was leaning in so close that I could feel his breath warming my jaw. I knew in my bones that he’d intervene before I could get hurt.

“She likes you,” Damen observed. “Which makes sense since you are very likable.”

There was a strange fluttering feeling in my stomach that I’d never experienced before. “Am I?”

“Of course, you must know that.”

I’d never given the matter any thought. My family had mostly seemed annoyed by me, so I supposed, if anything, I thought that I was just an annoying person.

“I haven’t spent time around anyone other than my immediate family and a couple of staff who worked there over the years. Lucas was the first person I can remember interacting with outside of our family. I have no idea what kind of person I am.”

“A very likable one,” Damen said firmly. “Your kindness was the first thing I noticed about you. And your patience and gratitude.”

What a lovely picture he’d painted of me in his mind. I knew for a fact that there were moments where I wasn’t as kind as I could be, or I forgot to be grateful, or felt impatience. Nana had always made sure to correct my behavior, and I hoped I remembered to do the right thing in her absence.”

“But none of what I say matters,” Damen continued. “Nor does what your family may have said.Youdecide how you feel about you.”

“I like that idea,” I replied quietly as the little Shade on my lap brushed the ends of my hair with her claws. I didn’t know exactly who I was yet.

But I was going to figure it out.

Chapter 11

Today was the day, I could feel it in my shadows.

I almost always woke up feeling lucky, but I definitely felt luckier than normal. My sheets had stayed cool all night. My tea was the perfect temperature when it was delivered to my room in the morning. I managed to make my shadow covering look relatively nice, considering that I was trying to conserve my power by keeping it simple.

It felt like the forces in the realm were conspiring to make today the perfect day to propose, and who was I to argue with them?

Sure, Iris had only been here a week, and that was—in fact—less than a month. But it wasn’t like Allerick listened tomewhen it came to his romantic relationship. He’d have been amuch better husband from the start if he had, though he liked to pretend that wasn’t true.

I’d simply ask for his forgiveness later. All would be well once he realized how happy Iris and I were together.

I met Soren and Astrid in the corridor where they were waiting for me, and we headed to the private drawing room in the royal wing of the palace to meet Allerick and Ophelia for breakfast. I very much liked the idea of loudly announcing to everyone that I was going to be engaged by the end of the day, though, I didn’t need their boring doubts and questions spoiling my good mood. I’d simply tell them afterward, once the deed was done.

“Why are you so cheerful this morning?” Soren asked suspiciously.

“Is it so unusual that I’m in a good mood?”

“Not really,” Astrid deadpanned. “He’s always oddly cheerful.”

“Odd for us, not odd for him,” Soren corrected. “But he seems different today.”

“It just feels like a good day. Can’t you feel it in the air?”

“Not really,” Astrid grumbled. “One of the new members of the Guard said I was rude. Can you believe that?”

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