Page 12 of Acedia

“I’ll help,” I said, more seriously this time. “I’vebeenhelping. With Theon. Remember?”

Soren grimaced, but declined to respond. He wasn’t particularly fond of Theon at this moment, or ever. I dragged my feet slightly as I followed them into the breakfast room and took my seat, wishing I could return to the cheerful oblivion of last night instead of the cold reality of today.

Chapter 4

The living room smelled awful.

The boys had all come back here again last night—this time with more beer—and they seemed to be sweating it out in their sleep in the most repulsive way. They also all snored like nothing I’d ever heard in my life, and I didn’t think that Tilly and I had gotten even a second of sleep, despite the fact that we’d been in the bedroom.

The twins were meant to sleep in the other room, but it seemed they all passed out in the middle of their awful game. The TV had been making irritating sounds all night.

Lucas had brought over tacos this time, though. I couldn’t decide if I liked tacos or pizza more, everything was so delicious. I would miss the food from this trip when I was back in the attic.

I moved around the kitchen as quietly as I was able to, feeling my way across the bench to get myself a glass of water. When were they going to leave? Surely, Moriah would send for them at some point.

Was that the sliding door? I paused. Maybe someone was already awake? I heard Tilly’s claws tapping on the floor, so at least she was getting to go outside. Before I could grab the glass, a hand clapped over my mouth, muffling my scream.

“Shh, I just want to talk. It’s okay,” Lucas whispered urgently. “I just want to talk. Don’t scream.”

He lifted me around the waist with one arm like it was nothing despite my struggling, keeping his hand pressed firmly over my mouth. A door shut behind us, and I guessed that we were in the spare bedroom.

“I just want to talk. Please don’t scream,” Lucas pleaded, setting me down gently and slowly removing his hand from my face. “You know it won’t help anyway—your brothers wouldn’t come to your aid.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I rasped, fumbling around for some semblance of my bearings. I was confident that Lucas was standing in front of the door, but I edged my way beside a dresser, keeping the piece of furniture between us.

“I know you won’t believe me, and this is going to sound insane, but I’m genuinely trying to help you. One of the options the Council is considering is opening up a portal and sending through a negotiating party to discuss sending Verity back. I’m not sure if those discussions are in good faith or not, but they clearly see an opportunity for bargaining here, and they’re going to take it.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

Lucas hesitated. “I’m sure you know your brothers aren’t overly fond of you.”

“I’m well aware,” I replied, surprised at the bitterness in my voice. It seemed silly to be bitter about it at all at this point, it had always been this way.

“They see the portal opening as an opportunity to…” he trailed off with a noise of frustration, like the words were too awful to get out. But I didn’t feel that way. A sense of perfect calm and understanding washed over me as I saw the future laid out in front of me that I should have always predicted.

“They see a chance to get rid of me. They want to push me through the portal. Into the shadow realm.”

Lucas cleared his throat. “Yes. Or into the in-between, at least. It’s a dark nothing space between the two realms, and it can be difficult for Hunters to navigate. Your brothers seem to think that because I reported Verity’s existence to the Council that this would be something I’m interested in helping them with.”

I didn’t care to question that. Lucas was clearly offended at the slight against his honor, but I had more pressing concerns.

Moriah and Giles wouldn’t help me if I asked them to protect me from the twins. They’d probably throw me through the portal themselves on principle. But also…

Would that be the worst thing?

If there was one thing I knew from the conversations I’d heard through the vents, it was that the Hunters who went to the shadow realm were disgusting harlots who got by there by using their bodies. Something about the Shades being able to feed off of our lust, rather than human fear like they did in the human realm.

I experienced lust. Oh, did I experience lust. That part of me worked just fine.

If there was one job I could absolutely do, it was contribute lust.

Maybe being a disgusting harlot there would be better than being my brothers’ punching bag here? Or maybe I was being naive, and I’d be walking into a situation much,muchworse.

Lucas let out a sigh of frustration. “I kind of feel like… like I fucked up. Sorry. I mean, that Imessedup.”

“You can use curse words,” I assured him. I wasn’t a little girl, despite the sheltered life I’d led. I was twenty-six years old. And with Justin and Travis for brothers, I’d heard plenty of curse words.

“Right. Okay. I fucked up. In hindsight, reporting the Hunter who defected to the shadow realm might not have been a good call.”

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