Page 80 of Acedia

“Yes. I mentioned to Verity that you had a penchant for flowy dresses and she had an abundance of spare ones on hand. Don’t feel guilty—I can see it on your face. She has a whole room devoted to clothing, and Astrid has been busy sourcing items for Elverston House. It may be a while before she can get you anything new.”

“I’ll just borrow Verity’s clothes until then,” I replied, chewing on my lower lip. It really did feel like a big imposition, and I hadn’t spent much time with Verity to develop a friendship with her.

“Sure,” Damen replied, a little too casually.

“Is it busier than normal?” I asked, noticing that the noise levels were much higher than usual. We usually filtered into the dining hall pretty easily, but we seemed to only be taking a step or two at a time today, with bodies pressed in all around us. Tilly was glued to my leg, and I scratched her between the ears in encouragement. I supposed the Shades who lived here must be getting used to her now since there were a lot lessoohsandaahsthan usual.

That was quite a nice feeling. She was becoming a fixture around the place too.

“Yes,” Damen agreed, suddenly sounding nervous.

I elbowed him gently in the side. “Are you not telling me things again?”

“It’s not like that,” he replied hastily. “The worry is for me this time, not you. I mentioned to Ophelia that it might be nice to have Ruvyn come in and present his findings from his research on Shades and the Hunted, and she made it happen a lot faster than I expected. And I guess the news may have spread… There are lot of Shades here from noble families who don’t actually reside at court. Calix is probably shitting himself at the sudden surge of extra mouths to feed,” he muttered, sounding faintly guilty about that.

It wasn’t like Damen to be so unsure. I wanted to wrap myself around him and cuddle those doubts away, but I wasn’t sure he’d appreciate that in front of all of his peers.

“I’m sure Calix knows you couldn’t have predicted there’d be so much interest.” Wasn’t this all ancient history now? I supposed I was interested in what had happened in the past, but I’d mostly been focused on what the future held.

“It’s more popular than I expected. Ruvyn and some of his colleagues at The Itrodaris have been uncovering and translating old documents that haven’t been seen before now. Apparently, they were looking in the wrong places before but they have a better idea of where to find things now.”

“That sounds like a good thing,” I replied, trying to figure out what the odd tone in Damen’s voice was. It wasn’t quite distress, but there was a note of discord.

“I guess it only occurred to me just now that whatever he has to say might be difficult to hear, and I’m the one who suggested it so I feel responsible. I’m not used to doing anything that has stakes. It’s a lot more pressure than I realized.”

I hummed in agreement, pressing my lips tightly together so I didn’t laugh at his bewildered tone.

“You’re smiling,” Damen chided affectionately, bumping me lightly with his shoulder. “Did that sound very spoiled and princely of me?”

“A little,” I admitted. “But I think it’s wonderful that you’re pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. And maybe whatever Ruvyn has to saywillbe difficult to hear, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hear it. No good ever comes from hiding from the truth—that’s what Nana always used to say.”

She’d always said it in a muttered, unhappy sort of a way, though. And mostly when she was mad at Moriah. In hindsight, I wondered if she hadn’t been referring to me. In her own way, she’d stuck up for me as best she could.

“I hope all the Shades in the crowd are as wise as your Nana.”

“You should probably hope they’re a little wiser than that,” I admitted, knowing that for all Nana’s mostly good intentions, she’d hated change and hated Shades even more.

Damen laughed, giving my arm a gentle squeeze. “You’ve got a real talent for cheering me up, you know.”

“Do I? You seem cheerful most of the time as it is.”

Damen hummed. “You might be right. I might be cheerful most of the time—that’s just my temperament, the same way that my brothers are always surly and miserable. Maybe what you make me feel ishappy. That’s something different.”

There was a fluttering feeling in my stomach, and I imagined my scent was broadcasting something sickly sweet and interesting for everyone to pick up on and analyze.

“Was Allerick supportive of all of this?” I asked, feeling suddenly flustered and wanting to change the subject.

“Yes,” Damen said, sounding surprised. “I guess I always knew that he thought I could be more industrious with my time, but I didn’t really expect him to be so supportive of it when I did. Maybe I didn’t give my big brother enough credit.”

I gave Damen’s arm a gentle squeeze.

Our quiet moment of conversation in the chaos came to an end as Shades greeted Damen, though a surprising number seemed to recognize me now and wanted to say hello.

“Would you mind terribly if we sat at the top table tonight?” Damen asked once we were already in the dining hall.

I blew out a long breath. “You couldn’t have mentioned that when were standing outside?”

“I probably should have.” He squeezed my arm lightly. “I don’t think I can get out of it—Ruvyn is technically my guest and he’s going to be up there. But I can walk you to where Meera and Verner are sitting if you like, and meet you afterward.”

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