Page 31 of Acedia

“It’s just darkness as far as the eye can see. It’s considered somewhat oppressive.”

I’d been so busy staring at Iris that it took a moment for Evrin’s clumsy words to set in.

Shit. Of all the people to complain to about the dark being oppressive. I scrambled to come up with something appropriately charming to break the heavy silence, but Iris spoke before I had a chance.

“Endless darkness can be very tedious. I hope they’re not all glaring at you for pointing that out. Just because I’m always in the dark doesn’t mean others aren’t allowed to express their discomfort. It’s not a competition.”

“Of course not,” I agreed clumsily, not wanting to let the silence draw on. If I hadn’t been in love with Iris before, I definitely was now.

She’d been sweet, calm, assertive, and compassionate all at the same time. On a good day, I could maybe pull off one of those things.

Fortunately, the conversation moved into safer territory—with the exception of Evrin referencing our idiotic youth, which I didn’t think would impress Iris, and I swiftly moved the subject along.

The joy she felt at the very concept of friendship was a heady thing—it perfumed the air around us. It was as intoxicating as that hint of her desire had been, though in a different way.

“What did you do after your nap?” I asked Iris, wondering if she also spent it jerking off like I did. Probably not.

I didn’t even know why I was asking, in all honesty. I was usually fairly ambivalent when it came to asking questions about other peoples lives—presumably they did things, and I didn’t really see why I had to know about them. But with Iris, I was curious about every single second that I wasn’t in her company.

“I spent some time with Meera and Tallulah. They sort of caught me up on everything and how it all works. The king and queen are going to visit tomorrow,” she added in a hushed whisper. “Tallulah said I don’t need to be nervous about it and that they’re really nice.”

Was my brother really nice? He was sort of nice. Nicer to the ex-Hunters than he was to me, of course.

I should accompany them for that visit to make sure Iris was comfortable and Allerick wasn’t rude. It was really the only solution.

“Is the king your father?” Iris asked, making me almost choke on my wine.

“No, my brother.” I cleared my throat. “The previous king was my father. I’m the heir for now, presumably I won’t be forever.”

I watched to see if Iris would have any kind of reaction to that, but my prospects of ruling—or lack thereof—didn’t seem to interest her either way.

Tallulah cleared her throat loudly, and I glanced up to find her looking at me.

“Stop staring at her,” she mouthed, frowning.

“I’m not,” I mouthed back, though I wasn’t entirely confident that was true. There were definitely times when Iris seemed tofeelme staring, and I always looked away then.

But the fact that I could admire her so openly for long stretches of time was a temptation, and I never really bothered to deny myself those.

Chapter 10

Meera had kindly come and helped me get ready for my royal visit this afternoon, picking out clothes and showing Tilly and me the way to the sitting room I was meeting them in.

“I’m a little nervous,” I told her honestly.

“I understand why, but you don’t need to be,” Meera assured me. “Ophelia always does all the talking where the ex-Hunters are concerned, the king is just there for show. And she’s very friendly, I promise. They’ve probably made it seem more intimidating than it needs to be by formally inviting you to have tea with them in a private sitting room,” she added disapprovingly.

“Did you not have to do that?”

“It was a group event since a few of us arrived at once, and it was in Elverston House where we were staying so it didn’t feel quite so… structured.”

I wondered if they were handling me a little more gently than they’d handled the other ex-Hunters. I really didn’t want them to think they had to. I wanted to be able to contribute meaningfully the way everyone else did.

“We’re here,” Meera said quietly, giving my arm a squeeze. She wasn’t speaking quietly to avoid drawing attention to us, I didn’t think. From what I’d gathered, she was just a very softly spoken person. Her voice was very soothing to listen to.

“Are you coming in?” I asked, a sudden flutter of nerves taking flight in my chest.

“I was going to, but I see Damen is hovering in front of the doorway, waiting for you,” she observed, sounding curious about that fact.

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