Page 8 of Ira

“A balloon?” I repeated, my mind immediately going to balloon-animal-style tubes. Maybe that’s what she meant? That what they had was more…growthanshow.

Ophelia had offered us all an in-depth anatomy lesson. Astrid had vanished before she’d even suggested it, and I’d opted out, not knowing how well I’d cope with that conversation.

I was regretting it now, as it sounded like there was a lot to learn.

“It seems to be an optional feature. Like they can wedge it in there and supposedly it feels good, but I passed on that, and the knot—that’s what it’s called, don’t overthink it—stayed on the outside. It was still a great experience. Ten out of ten.” Verity paused, her palm still covered in lotion, tilting her head to the side. “Maybe nine out of ten because he was superquiet,and I like my dudes vocal in bed. Actually, possibly eight. Eight out of ten is still pretty good, though.”

“A very respectable score,” I agreed faintly.

“Anyway, I feel like I’ve ripped the bandaid off, and now Shade sex is on the table for me, which is nice.” She shrugged one should before resuming the lotion application.

Shade sex.

I’d been avoiding thinking about it, in all honesty. Even in the human realm, sex had been a complicated subject.

Complicated, as in I’d only done it once with another person involved, but I wanted it. But I didn’t trust anyone enough to let them touch me, and I couldn’t build trust without getting to know someone, and I never did that either.

Briefly, a vision of Verner—the Shade I’d met last night after dinner—flashed through my mind, but I quickly shook it away. He was the one Shade whohadn’ttried to get in my pants, and I’d really enjoyed how easy his company was last night. I wasn’t about to ruin what could be my first real Shade friendship with a ham-fisted attempt at seduction.

I grimaced slightly at the thought. What would that even look like?

Hey Verner. I like the way your horns curve inwards and nearly touch at the top. And your eyes are such a pretty golden color. Your shoulders are really broad. How tall are you, anyway? 6’8? 6’9?

I nearly threw up in my mouth at the thought. I’d never spent any time considering it, but I suspected I might have no game.Occasionally, drunk dudes had tried to pick me up at the bar, but I’d always been pretty efficient about rejecting them. It had probably cost me a fortune in lost tips over the years.

Verity clicked the lid closed on the lotion bottle, handing it back to me with the kind of smile that really should have been accompanied by a choir of angels and some stray beams of sunshine. “Ready for breakfast?”

“Sure.”

We headed downstairs together, Verity playfully tugging down her tutu while I solemnly pulled down my oversized t-shirt so that the entire top half of my thighs beneath my already-baggy jeans were concealed.

Tallulah was walking ahead of us, already making small talk with a Shade who had been undoubtedly hovering as close to Elverston House as he was allowed to get without provoking the ire of the Guard. Not that we ever saw them, but I knew they were nearby, watching.

Verner was the first guard I’d spoken to, and he’d been surprisingly kind. Or perhaps he was just a regular level of kind, and my view of authority figures was more cynical than it needed to be? They’d never given me any cause for alarm in this realm.

“Have you seen Astrid this morning?” I asked Verity, looking around. Theoretically, she lived here too, though she seemed to vanish into thin air if you didn’t keep eyes on her at all times.

Verity shrugged, unbothered. “Of course not. She’s like a cat. She pops up when she’s hungry and occasionally, if she wants human interaction. If you try to engage with her outside of those bounds, she may or may not hiss at you.”

“That analogy ended up being a lot more apt than I thought it would,” I admitted, making a note to grab some of the cholesterol she was so fond of at breakfast. Astrid was independent—there was no denying that—but I suspected there was more loneliness there than she’d ever allow anyone to see.

“How did Astrid contact you when she was shadow realm recruiting?” Verity asked curiously. “Did you use social media?”

“Absolutely not,” I replied, slightly horrified at the thought.

“Didn’t think so,” Verity said sagely. “Astrid slid into my DMs. And Tallulah’s. How’d she get hold of you?”

“She called me.” In the eight years since I’d left the Hunters—since I’d beenkicked out—I’d never changed my phone number. I supposed I’d naively hoped that my sister might reach out to me one day, and I wanted to make sure she had a way of getting in contact. It seemed rather foolish in hindsight. I’d wiped the device and thrown the phone away before I’d come here, wanting a clean slate.

“Is that something people still do?” Verity asked, sounding so genuinely surprised that I almost laughed. “I can’t remember the last time I used my phone tocallsomeone. I’m surprised you picked up.”

“So am I,” I admitted. “Even now, I’m not really sure why I did.”

It had been the weirdest conversation of my life, but Astrid had struck gold by calling me on that particular day. I’d been so on edge from my encounter with Adela Cooke that the idea of escaping the human realm had been immediately appealing. In fact, I’d already stuffed a few extra things into my go-bag and was contemplating taking the next bus to literally anywhere when my phone had rung.

I still felt guilty about it all, though. Like I’d let Adela down.

If nothing else, I could have just given her the documents I still had. It wouldn’t have been easy to get my hands on them—they were still at my mother’s house. But if I could have found a way, if I hadn’t been so terrified… Well, maybe it would have made a difference.

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