Page 42 of Ira

I hoped I’d never make him regret those words, though I wouldn’t blame him if he did.

“I’ll just write them a quick note in Elverston House,” I said, giving his hands a squeeze, not wanting to go back to the palace. “Meet you back here in ten minutes? Or are you meant to be somewhere right now?”

“No. I have today and tomorrow off. I’ll wait right here.”

Impulsively, I went up on my tip toes, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling him in for a hug. My lips brushed his jaw in another entirely inappropriate kiss—if he was any shorter I probably would have gone for his lips again without even thinking about it. What was wrong with me?He doesn’t want to kiss you, Meera!

Verner looked slightly shell-shocked when I let him go, his arms raised like he was going to embrace me again for a beat too long, but I was already jogging up toward Elverston House.

There were writing supplies in one of the upstairs storage closets, and I almost headed right for it before remembering that I was technically a guest here, and knocking on the front door after I’d already opened it.

“Meera,” Jade said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs and watching me warily. “Everything okay?”

“I, um, need to write a note for the palace. Is it okay if I go grab the writing supplies upstairs?”

Jade watched me closely for a long moment. “You’re leaving.”

“Not… not forever. There’s something I need to do.”

Shoot, our conversation had attracted a crowd. So much for getting out of here unseen.

“Can we help?” Patrick asked gruffly, leaning against the door jamb to take the weight off his leg.

“I was sort of hoping to get away without the others noticing. I don’t want to worry them, but I don’t know that they’d necessarily… get it.”

Jade nodded immediately, her expression fierce. “They’re different from us. Except Verity. They don’t know what it’s like.”

Part of me thought that I should object. That I should try to convince her thatyes, they were like us deep down. That we’d all suffered at the hands of the Hunters Council, though the degrees did vary. But I wasn’t sure I had it in me right now.

“How long do you need?” Patrick asked. “Maybe you don’t need to leave them a note. We could cover for you. Say you decided you wanted to stay here for a bit.”

That wasn’t implausible. After that conversation with Astrid, she may well believe that I wanted some space. It didn’t feelgreatto exploit that, but they’d barely know I was gone. I’d be there and back before Astrid even realized I’d left.

I couldn’t leave her with nothing, though. After finalizing arrangements with the others, I grabbed a pencil and paper from the storage closet and scribbled a quick note for Astrid.

I love you. I need some space.

I’m sorry I couldn’t explain it all properly.

I’ll do better next time.

- Meera

Chapter 14

The wait for Meera to come out of Elverston House was excruciating. I stood, half concealed by a tree, my claws tracing the spot where her lips had touched my jaw.

It was similar to that gesture that had made her panic last time, though not quite as intimate. Perhaps that meant she was less fond of me now than she was then? No, that didn’t seem right. I suspected I had no idea what that gesture meant at all.

Maybe I should have asked someone. Shades I knew were now mated to Hunters—I supposed I could have asked them. But it felt too intimate to share, even if it was with someone I trusted.

With each rustle of a leaf or quiet whoosh of breeze, I was startling, looking around for a member of the Guard to appear and demand that I explain myself. I hadn’t actuallydoneanything yet, and I felt as though I was going to be dragged away by Captain Soren at any moment and be thrown into the Pit.

It went entirely against my nature to rebel. But not helping Meera was a greater affront to my instincts.

If anyone else had asked me for such a favor, I’d have said no without question. I’d have reported them to the captain. I’d have followed procedure to the letter. But Meera needed me, and I wouldn’t disappoint her. Even if I didn’t entirely understand what we were setting out to do.

Vengeance, I understood. Why now and how she intended to accomplish it, I was a little less clear on, but I trusted that Meera knew what she was doing.

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