Page 73 of Ira

Nothing was adequate. But I was done flailing in silence, forever fighting to articulate myself and giving up when it got hard.

“You’re the love of my life,” I said simply.

Because maybe the words didn’t have to be perfect. They just had to be true.

Verner exhaled as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, pulling me in tightly against him. “Thank the goddesses for that.”

I moved my hands up to his chest so I could rub soothing circles into his skin with my thumbs. “Did you ever doubt it?”

“Perhaps a little.” He squeezed my waist reassuringly. “I didn’t doubt that we’d be together—that seemed certain. But that you’d love me the way I love you? That didn’t seem possible. And if you ever did, I thought I’d have to wait years.”

I was shaking my head before he’d even finished speaking. “Even when I was convincing myself that I could never be in a relationship, that I wouldn’t know how, that I wouldn’t be good at it, I always thought… but if I did, it would be you. You’d be my first and only choice.”

Verner pulled me into him again, pressing a firm kiss on the top of my head. I wanted to do a lot more than forehead kisses. I wanted to solidify our union, ideally with a mating bite, but the fact that we were surrounded by his entire family was keeping my libido—and hopefully my scent—in check.

“I willnottolerate this!” Verner’s father said, slamming his hand down on the table hard enough to make me jump. “You will ruin this house. The family name. Our legacy. Verner, how can you be so selfish?”

Verner sighed heavily, tucking me into his side as he turned to face his parents. His shadows wrapped around me like a comforting blanket, and I wanted to wear them every minute of every day.

“I see now what a waste of time these talks have been. It was foolish of me not to see it earlier—there is simply no middle ground where we can meet. You want me to give up Meera, and I will not. There’s no halfway.”

I didn’t mean to cling to Verner like a koala bear, but just hearing the fact that they’d been telling him to give me up had me wanting to wrap myself around him and never let go.

“What is it that you’re proposing then,my lord?” his father asked with a pointed sneer.

I sucked in a quiet breath. Verner had already inherited his family seat? When and how had that happened?

Verner hummed thoughtfully, gently cupping my cheek and pulling my gaze up to his. The claw of his thumb drifted lightly over my skin as he pushed my sweaty hair back off my face, and I dreaded to think what I looked like right now.

“I wanted all of this to be ours,” he said quietly. “You deserve the best, Meera. You deserve a life of luxury, and I wanted to be the one to give that to you. But I also don’t think they’ll ever accept us here. Is the luxury worth it if we don’t have happiness?”

I blinked up at him, baffled at his line of thinking. “Of course it isn’t. And I don’twanta life of luxury—I want to work. I want to be busy, and to feel like I’m contributing. I want my garden.” I hesitated for a moment, clearing my throat. “Verner, this is a beautiful home, but I don’t even think I’d survive in this climate. It’s sohothere.”

Clearly, I’d been gone from the mother country too long. I’d adapted to Denver’s semiarid climate.

“You don’t want to live here?” Verner repeated, sounding suddenly hopeful.

“I mean, not to sound ungrateful or anything—it’s beautiful. But I don’t think I could be happy here, away from court and Elverston House and the garden.”

And surrounded by your hostile family,I added silently. That part probably went without saying.

I’d never had the desire that Austin, Verity, and Tallulah all seemed to have to get away from the palace. I had no desire to lead, but I liked being in the thick of things, even if it was just to observe them from the outskirts. Would they let us stay there, though? Verner had been fired because of me—I had no idea what his current relationship with the king or the captain looked like. Surely, they wouldn’t kick us out?

“You’re not welcome in the palace,” a female Shade snapped. Perhaps his mother? “Unless you are staying in the family apartments as the Earl of Sunlis.”

“Heisthe Earl of Sunlis, for Godwin stepped aside,” Theon drawled, sounding desperately bored with the proceedings. “How fortunate for you all that Verner seems to care about accommodating you all rather than simply telling you the way things will be now that he is in charge.”

“Some of us are more tyrannical than others, honey,” Verity said cheerfully before turning to face us. “If tensions are high at the palace, then you guys should come stay with us for a bit—we’ve got heaps of room at Lindow. I’m sure the king will get over his temper tantrum eventually, and then you can move back there if you still want to.”

Theon made a sound of annoyance, and Verity narrowed his eyes at him. “I know you’re not objecting, pookie. We have literally hundreds of rooms. Even if they live there forever, it wouldn’t be a problem for us. I hope you do—I’d love the company.”

“Weusethose rooms,” Theon objected.

Verity raised an eyebrow. “You can use me in any of the other rooms, darling.”

Verner patted me firmly on the back as I choked on my own laugh. Living with the two of them would certainly be an experience. It was a generous offer, and I was grateful for it.

“What do you think?” I asked Verner. “How do you feel about a fresh start?”

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