“You seem sad,” Iris said, her knitting needles moving at an astonishing rate as she spoke.
“Do I?” I hadn’t realized I was being so obvious about it. Then again, I suspected Iris’s empathy barometer was more sensitive than most.
She hummed from her seat in the corner while Tilly dozed on the floor. Not for the first time, I admired how perfect Iris’s posture was—she looked like she was sitting for a painting at all times. “I know that we’ve been avoiding the subject, but perhaps now is the time for you to tell me where you went for those few days?”
I sighed heavily. “It probably is.”
“Good. You had everyone rather frantic, you know. Damen was my only company and he refused to tell me. He said he didn’t want me to worry.” She tutted softly. “I might have to tell him off.”
I choked slightly on my saliva. “Tell him off?”
“Yes—like how Nana used to tell me off when I was misbehaving. It’s unacceptable that he withholds information from me because he’s worried I won’t be able to handle it. I’m tougher than I seem.”
I couldn’t imagine Iris telling Prince Damen off. Or anyone off, for that matter. She was like one of the fairytale princesses in the movies my sister used to watch growing up. All soft tones andtinkling laughter. Even her hair looked like spun gold, now the patchy temporary dye had washed out of it.
“I won’t argue with that. And you’re right—it’s wrong of him not to answer your questions honestly. It would be wrong of me not to as well.”
Iris nodded. “It would. Now, you tell me where you were and why you’re sad. Did you not want to come back?”
“No, no, it’s not that,” I said hastily. “I definitely wanted to come back. I, um, went to the human realm.”
The silence as Iris paused for a moment, her needles stilling, was slightly eerie. After a few seconds, she resumed knitting, though at a much slower pace.
“Why?” she asked eventually, not a trace of judgment in her voice.
“Um. Well… I think I lost my mind a little.”
Iris nodded sympathetically. “Did you have an episode? My mother used to have them all the time.”
I wasn’t sure where to begin with that. Iris was incredibly calm when she talked about her past, but I suspected it was far more traumatic than any of us realized.
There was a high possibility that she’d be thrilled to know her parents were in jail. But there was also a distinct chance that she wouldn’t be. Families were complicated.
“Sebastian mentioned some of the Hunters he was working with on the negotiations… I recognized one of the names. It was a guy who’d… taken a particular interest in me.” I cleared my throat. “I was only seventeen. I didn’t want him, but it didn’t matter. When it all came out, no one believed me. I was kicked out, both out of the Hunters and my home.”
“So you heard his name, and you wanted vengeance,” Iris surmised, looking thoughtful. I hadn’t expected her to immediately connect those dots, which I guess meant I wasas guilty of underestimating her as everyone else was of underestimating me. “Did you get it?”
“Yes.”And then some.
“How does it feel?”
No one had asked me that question. I hadn’t even askedmyselfthat question.
Howdidit feel?
“Kind of good,” I said slowly, hyperaware of the fact that I wasn’t telling Iris the whole story. That I was leaving out a pretty significant part that impacted her directly. “But kind of hollow at the same time, I suppose. Maybe I thought that revenge on Randal Jackman would be a magic cure to all my problems, but it wasn’t—not really. Destroying him didn’t erase the damage he’s done.”
And I may have created a host of new problems in the process, I added silently.
Iris hummed. “Do you regret it?”’
“No,” I replied instantly, not needing a second to think about it. Yes, it had changed things in a way that I wasn’t sure could ever be reversed, and ruining Jackman’s life probably wouldn’t tangibly improve my own, but I still didn’t regret it. I’d returned to the shadow realm feeling more sure of myself and my place here. I was more in control of the ghosts that haunted me, and far more settled in my relationship with Verner—or at least I had been until he’d disappeared.
Perhaps the real revenge was the friends we made along the way?
And I’d leveled the playing field a little on the Hunter side, even if the king and the captain didn’t want to admit it yet. The Council may have been the devil we knew, but it was the devil nonetheless. Thiscouldbe a good thing. I was choosing to believe that it was.
We both startled at the sound of a knock on the door, and I quickly moved to open it, finding one of the palace staff standing there.