Page 48 of Ira

It had seemed so easy to say whatever I needed to say in the dark silence of the van, not having to look into Verner’s eyes as I apologized. But I regretted it now. The lack of response was unnerving.

“Um. So, yeah. That’s all I wanted to say,” I mumbled lamely. “You’re the best, and I’m really sorry that I am the way I am. I’ll be quiet now.”

Chapter 16

I’d never felt so helpless in all my life.

Meera sat in the front of the moving contraption that was conveying us to wherever it was she wanted to go, while I hovered in the blackness of the room at the back, constantly moving to keep up with it since nothing could actually hold my form. It was blessedly dark back here at least. If it weren’t traveling so quickly, if I had a mate bond to track Meera through, I might have let my body slip back into the in-between like it was begging me to do. I’d never spent so long in this form, and it was wearing on me.

But if I lost sight of Meera for even a second, there was a very good chance I’d never find her again.

The farther we went, the more acutely aware I became of my weariness.

I needed to feed.

Eventually, there were no coherent thoughts going through my head. My only focus was keeping up with Meera’s conveyance—every drop of energy I had was devoted to not losing her.

“Whatever feelings I have for you… I mean, our friendship comes first.”

I heard the words as though I was underwater and someone was speaking above me. Honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure that I’d heard them at all. Perhaps my mind was merely playing tricks on me. Perhaps I was dying, and it had conjured up some pleasant thoughts for me to pass from this world with.

“Whatever feelings I have for you…”

That couldn’t be true. But I desperately wished it was.

The vehicle slowed, and I slowed with it. My shadows flickered dangerously as we came to a stop, and I clung to the sound of Meera’s footsteps to keep me in place.

“Verner?” Meera whispered, opening the door as little as possible and slipping inside before closing it behind her, blanketing us in darkness once more. “Are you here?”

I reached out, my claws ghosting over her skin.

The in-between was calling to me, dragging me back to its dark embrace. It was more effort to hold on to this ephemeral form than it was to shift back into my solid one.

Saying a quiet prayer to the gods that Meera would forgive me, I wrapped her in my embrace, and hoped she understood.

After a second’s hesitation, she crouched low in the conveyance, which was just long enough for her to take a few steps. That was all I needed to shadow walk us back into the in-between, and I collapsed onto the ground the moment my form solidified.

“Verner!” Meera dropped to her knees beside me, pulling my arm over her shoulders, visibly struggling under my bulk. “Oh my god. What is it? What happened?”

“I need to feed,” I rasped, struggling with just the effort of speaking. “I’m low on power. I need to get to the stores—”

“There’s no time for that. You can’t walk and I can’t carry you.” She helped me lie back on the cool ground before kneeling beside me, eyes worried. “I’m really regretting not having that conversation with you earlier. Can I… can I touch you?”

Touch me?

Was she offering to feed me?

“Meera, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking, I am. And honestly, I’m struggling with it a little because I very much want to make an executive decision here to save your life.”

“You always have my permission. You can touch me whenever you want. However you want.”

Perhaps I wouldn’t have been so honest if I hadn’t been half delirious, but in the moment it seemed essential that Meera know that I was hers. That she was everything to me.

“Just… let me take the lead, okay?” she asked softly, her scent sweetening.

“Of course.” Not that I could move anyway.

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