Page 32 of Ira

Ten new Hunters had arrived from the human realm—none of whom were particularly happy or healthy—and we’d all agreed that they should get Elverston House to themselves to acclimate to life here. Moving out had also been for my own protectionthough, since the last new additions to Elverston House had harbored a traitor in their midst.

But mygardenwas at Elverston House, and it was actually starting to produce some food now. I couldn’t just abandon it and start over. Both for practical reasons, and because it felt like the garden was all I had left. I’d put everything I had into it, and I didn’t want to let it fall by the wayside now.

Tallulah frowned. “I think you should just go and talk to the new residents, let them know that you won’t go in the house but you still need access to the garden. Everyone needs to eat, Meera. I’m sure they’ll be reasonable about it. Do you want me to come with you?”

It was tempting, but I shook my head. Tallulah was busy enough as it was—she was taking over the negotiations with the Hunters Council, working alongside a small delegation to come to a new and fair agreement.

All I had to do each day was grow my little vegetables. And I was spending time with Iris, wanting her to get accustomed to life here too, but that was definitely more for my benefit than hers. Without Verner for company, I was maybe lonelier now than I had been in all my time in the human realm.

“Is everything okay?” Tallulah asked softly.

“Of course.” I swallowed past the sudden tightness in my throat. Tallulah looked more content than I’d ever seen her. She was in love, and perfectly secure in that love.

And I was…

Jealous.

Yes, I was pretty sure that’s what that emotion was.

I could never have what Tallulah had. But I wanted it.

OrdidI want it? Did I just want what everyone else had? I didn’t even know how to make sense of my own thoughts anymore.

“Okay…” Tallulah said slowly. “You’ve been kind of tense recently—I was wondering if you were struggling with living in the palace now? It’s a lot more crowded.”

I exhaled slightly in relief. “Yes, it is. Um, it’s fine. I’ll get used to it. Or maybe I can move back to Elverston House later once the new Hunters are more settled?”

Tallulah pursed her lips. “Well, yes. But if the negotiations go well, then there might be even more new Hunters coming through eventually, right? We need to come up with a solution that’s sustainable for you.”

“For me?” I repeated, surprised. “You don’t have to worry about me, Tallulah.”

“We all worry about you,” she replied with a wry smile. “We’ve never really talked about what happened in the human realm,” she added uncomfortably.

It was very clear to me that Tallulah didn’twantto talk about it, either. That had been a terrifying moment for her, and she was only trying to revisit it now because she thought I needed to.

“We don’t have to,” I said firmly. “You really don’t need to worry about me, Tallulah. I’m fine. I’m doing great.”

She hummed, not looking particularly convinced. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come and talk to the new ex-Hunters with you? Honestly, I’d usually just invite myself along and put my best HR face on, but I kind of get the feeling that they don’t like me.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” I assured her. Though, I did wonder if they perhaps didn’ttrusther. It was Tallulah’s psycho grandfather who had sent them over here as sacrificial lambs in the first place. I imagined that they might feel a little less confident around her and Austin than me, for example.

“I’m still worried. I’m just going to keep being worried, you’ve offered me no reassurance whatsoever. Do you want to come andhave lunch with me and Evrin?” Tallulah asked, yawning as she stood.

“No, I’ll go down to Elverston House. And you need a nap,” I said firmly. “Make sure you’re not doing too much, okay? Growing a baby is hard work.”

Frankly, we had no idea what kind of work went into growing a human-Shade baby, or even how long gestation would take. At least Tallulah had a wonderful mate, who’d do anything for her and the baby. If he’d seen her yawn, he’d have probably carried her out of here already.

“Okay, okay. We’re going to come back for dinner tonight—Ophelia wanted to chat about some things, so I said I’d be there. You can tell me about how it goes at Elverston House then?”

I nodded, letting us both out of the room. “I’ll keep you updated.”

My new bedroom was on the ground floor, right next to Iris’s. It was nice that I could visit her easily, but the moment we were in the corridor, we were bumping into courtiers and palace staff going about their day. I hadn’t appreciated the peacefulness of Elverston House enough when I’d had it.

We parted ways outside the dining hall, and I headed outside, taking a moment to myself once I was free from the crowd. The manicured gardens outside the palace were bright with splashes of color throughout, and it took my breath away every time I saw it.

We’d done that. Well, maybe not me. I wasn’t sure I was contributing much, except radishes—I was contributing plenty of those. But the others had. They’d made their mark on the realm in such a profound way that we could all see it.

“Meera.”

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