Page 28 of Ira

He wasn’t.

I’d totally misread this situation.

“I’m so sorry,” I gasped, scrambling upright so fast that I scraped my hands in the process. “I’m so sorry, Verner.”

“Meera, wait—” he began, climbing to his feet and reaching for me, but I was already gone, sprinting through the empty garden beds back toward the safety and privacy of Elverston House where I could wallow in my humiliation in peace.

What had I been thinking? Why had I done that?

Way to go, Meera. You’ve ruined everything.

Chapter 9

Iknew before I even left the palace the next day that Meera wouldn’t be waiting for me at lunchtime. It was my day off at least, so I didn’t have to hear Andrus’s complaints as I stopped by the kitchen to pick up food for Meera and made my way toward Elverston House.

The garden was empty, of course. I’d come back at night and disposed of the heavy shrub Meera had been wrestling with, and she’d clearly been out at some point to sweep the paths free of dirt, but she wasn’t here now.

Tallulah made a quiet sound of surprise as she appeared on the pathway, reeking of sex as she often did, though I only knew that because I was regularly in this part of the grounds. I doubted the other Shades at court had noticed.

“Could you give this to Meera please?” I asked, handing her a bowl. Calix had been trying some new meat-free recipes with ingredients Astrid had sourced from the human realm, and I was eager to ensure Meera could have some.

“Sure,” she squeaked, her cheeks blooming an impressive crimson color.

“Thank you.”

I inclined my head respectfully before heading back in the direction of the palace, hoping the worry I was feeling on the inside wasn’t showing on the outside.

How were we going to talk about what had happened yesterday if Meera kept avoiding me? I didn’t evenknowwhat had happened. Everything had been fine. We’d been talking. She was in a good mood. Her scent had been magnificent.

She’d pressed her lips to mine, and I didn’t know what it meant or what she was trying to achieve—it was almost certainly some kind of human action that I didn’t understand. Perhaps some kind of… gesture of friendship? Though it was a very intimate one if that was the case.

I adored Meera, but I also knew that she hadn’t handled that well. There was nothing the two of us couldn’t get through if we talked it out—that was one of the things I treasured most about our friendship. If she hadn’t run off, we could have discussed it. I could have asked her for an explanation of what the gesture meant, and how I should reciprocate accordingly.

But I couldn’t be angry at her, even knowing she’d put our friendship in a difficult position. I knew Meera well enough to know that she was probably panicking right now, and almost certainly blaming herself. I just wanted to be there for her. When she was ready.

Instead of returning to the palace, I made for the portal instead. Perhaps more cake would help? If nothing else, it mighthelp Meera feel certain that I wasn’t angry or upset, and she could come to me whenever she felt comfortable talking.

Rather than going straight to the market like last time, I found myself heading in the direction of Sunlis instead, stepping out of the entry room near my family’s home and immediately being weighed down by the thick humidity in the air.

No good was going to come of this visit, I already knew that. This was undoubtedly some form of self-flagellation for not reacting better yesterday, even though I didn’t know what I was meant to be reacting to.

“Oh,” Morcant, the steward, said as I arrived at the doorway. “I didn’t realize we were expecting you, Master Verner.”

“You weren’t. I thought I might visit with my parents awhile.”

Morcant fussed unnecessarily, his shadows flickering in irritation. He was clearly struggling to come up with a suitable response, but he was saved by Mother, who rounded the corner at that moment.

“Verner!” Mother said, freezing when she saw me. “Were we expecting you?”

My smile grew tighter at hearing the question again. “No. I thought I would stop by. It’s my day off.”

“Oh, I see.” Mother’s shadows flickered restlessly.

“Is that okay?”

“Morcant has only set out tea for your father and me,” she fretted. “And if we don’t drink it now, it will go cold.”

“I’ll sit with you while you take your tea. There’s no need to make any accommodations for me,” I assured her.

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