Page 18 of Ira

I laughed in surprise. “I’m glad to hear it—and I hope you’re armed at all times. If you’re not, I will procure you some weapons.”

I didn’t think I could address the first part of her sentence out loud. Though, I wondered if she’d be interested in hunting me…? I certainly wasn’t opposed to the idea.

Behave, Verner. She’s looking for a friend, nothing more.

“All of our weapons were confiscated when we moved here.” Meera shrugged, pausing for a long moment to chew on a carrot. “It’s fine, though. I feel safe here.”

“You barely leave Elverston House,” I pointed out gently. “And never alone. If a few silver throwing knives will bolster yourconfidence in moving around the palace complex, then I will argue with the king on the necessity of such a thing until he sees my point of view.”

I watched as discreetly as I could as a fetching color crawled up Meera’s face. It was, perhaps, the most enchanting sight I’d ever seen, and I was desperately glad thatshecouldn’t smellmyscent. It might make things uncomfortable if she could.

“You don’t need to go to any effort on my behalf, you know. I mean, it’s so kind of you.Sokind. I want you to know that I really appreciate everything you do for me.” She held up the bowl of vegetables as though to illustrate her point. “You really don’t need to go out of your way for me though. I’ll be okay.”

I hummed, not disagreeing but not agreeing either. In many ways, Meera reminded me of Levana. Levana often suffered unnecessarily in silence, but I was coming to realize that it was borne of self-preservation rather than stubbornness. If she handled everything on her own, then she never needed to be dependent on someone else, and risk disappointment.

Meera did the same. If she ever asked me for help, I’d know that the situation was truly dire because she wouldn’t do it lightly.

“I’ll be okay,” Meera repeated, possibly aiming for a firmer voice but finding a more wobbly one. “I’m very independent, you know. I’m good at doing things on my own.”

“I appreciate that. But you don’t alwayshaveto. You’re navigating an entirely new world, Meera. If you ever want help, I’m more than happy to provide it. We’re friends, after all.”

I was impressed at how convincing I’d made that sound. It hadn’t been a lie, after all. Wewerefriends. I couldn’t switch off the attraction I felt for Meera, but surely it would lessen with time the more diligently I ignored it.

“Thank you, Verner. You’re really amazing, you know?”

“No. This is the bare minimum—you don’t get to thank me for that.”

“I’m going to anyway.”

“That’s okay, we’ll work on it.”

Meera almost laughed again, catching herself at the last moment.

“Have you noticed any color in the garden?” I asked, giving her a reprieve by changing the subject. “There’s been sightings of pinks and golds and blues around the realm, you know. It’s quite the topic of conversation.”

Meera tipped her head back against the tree, smiling softly. “I haven’t seen any here yet, but that’s lovely. Well, it’s lovely for me. I’m sure there are some Shades who aren’t so fond of such a visible reminder of change,” she added wryly, giving me a pointed look.

“My parents are struggling a little, yes,” I agreed, certain that was who she was referring to. “They’ll adjust in time. It doesn’t help that my cousin, Osric, is constantly in their ears, buzzing about how dire everything is,” I grumbled.

“You two aren’t close, I take it?” Meera teased, bumping me lightly with her shoulder. Something fluttered wildly in my chest, and I did my best to ignore it.

“No. Osric prides himself on being everything I’m not, which means he is the ideal heir. The kind of son my parents want me to be.”

Meera frowned. “I don’t understand how any parent could not think of you as basically the perfect child, honestly. You’re kind, generous, respectful, principled… If I had a son someday and he turned out like you, I’d think I’d done something very right.”

I didn’t even know how to respond to that. It was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to me.

“That’s…” I cleared my throat. “Thank you, Meera. That means more to me than I can say.”

She flushed a deep shade of red, but her scent sweetened as though my words had pleased her.

“Um, that’s okay. It’s just the truth. Will you visit home again any time soon?” she asked, resuming eating. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was still hungry or if she just wanted something to do with her hands.

“I hadn’t planned on it, but perhaps I will. If only to get more ojurac.”

“Not on my account,” she said sternly. “But if you’re visiting anyway andhappento get some…”

“You really liked the ojurac?” I asked, wanting to make sure she hadn’t just been claiming to enjoy it out of politeness.

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