Page 59 of Unwrapping Deviance

“Whoa, slow down. That’s a lot ofwhat if’s. You are seriously overthinking this.”

I shake my head. “It took me months to convince her that she’s not going to lose me. Months of proving to her that I’m not going to die every time I left the apartment. I was late by five minutes texting her after getting to work and she was a hysterical mess. She still has nightmares almost every night. She wakes up screaming and I have to swear to her that I’m real. I’m almost terrified of dying because I don’t know what will happen to her. What if this need to fuck is just another part of that fear?”

Christian shrugs. “What if it is? What if this is exactly the thing she needs to finally feel whole?” He taps the sugar packet on the table a couple of times, expression thoughtful. “Is that why you’ve been pushing her on me?”

I blink, taken aback by the audacity. “Excuse me?”

“You were going to let me finger fuck her right where you’re sitting not fourteen hours ago. Back at the grocery store, not a single comment about what I did to her in the treat aisle. You want me to fuck her so you don’t have to.”

“No!” the word shreds through my teeth before I can stop myself, but the truth of the matter is, I have no backup defense.

He’s not entirely wrong, but he’s not right either.

I want Christian to rail Mira. I want him to use her. I want her to be our pretty fuck toy, but I’m terrified of being wrong. The consequences drastically outweigh the desires. I am happy dying with only my hand as company if I just have Mira.

“You’re wrong,” I try slowly and still fail.

My brother studies my face, his search level and too knowing. “You want to share her?”

My gaze drops to my cold drink because that’s exactly what I told Mira back at the diner.

Me. Christian. No one else.

I couldn’t have been clearer. Then the stuff at the table and the grocery store.

God, what am I doing?

“I don’t know. Adding a whole other person could make things worse. It could scare or confuse her.”

“Well, what the fuck do you want, Daniel?” Christian cries.

“I don’t know!” I snap back. “I don’t fucking know, okay?” I say again, lowering my voice when Clare gives a start behind the register and looks up towards our table. “I haven’t even talked to Mira about any of this. I’m ... I’m worried tomorrow, she’ll decide today was a mistake. I’m worried she’ll think I don’t love her because I let you touch her. I’m worried I let my own needs cloud my judgment and acted with the wrong head.”

“You need to stop thinking,” Christian mutters. “Instead, consider actually talking to her. She’s not stupid. She’s not a child. She knows what she wants and she’s been telling you. Eventually, she’s going to give up and move on to someone else. So, either stop being a little bitch and fuck her or get the fuck out of the way so I can.”

I stare at the other man, torn between acknowledging the truth of his words and throwing my coffee in his face.

“You know, this isn’t at all why I wanted us to come here and talk, right?” I grumble, unable to stop the grin I can feel creeping over my face.

Christian shrugs. “Honestly, it’s the only thing I wanted to talk about.” He settles back against the bench and stretches his arms across the back. “She’s fucking with my head.”

I frown. “Who?”

He shoots me a dry glower. “Who else? The little brat at home.” He raps his knuckles against the plastic. “She’s making me crazy.”

Despite the annoyance furrowing his brows, I almost laugh. “She does that. Gets you all twisted up and confused.”

Christian scoffs. “Pretty sure her smile alone can save the planet.”

I do laugh then. It bursts out of me at the irritation darkening my brother’s face.

“Don’t tell me you’re falling for my baby,” I only half tease.

The other man groans and rubs a palm over his face. “Ask me tomorrow. My crotch still smells like her pussy, and I can’t be trusted to make informative decisions right now.”

My heart claps in my chest. “Did you...?”

His gaze lifts too slowly up to mine, his grin mocking. “Put my cock in her tight hole? No.”

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