Page 77 of Unwrapping Deviance

Against my will, my gaze shifts to where I can just make out her small, pale face in the glass. Even from here, I can see the furrow in her brow, the anxious chewing on her lip. I would give my soul to ease the hurt I caused her, but I look at my brother.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” I tell him slowly, turning my attention back to him. “You’re teasing me with her but won’t let me touch her. You leave the door open and let me watch you but won’t let me take my turn.” I shove five fingers back through my hair. “I want her, Danny. I fucking shouldn’t, I know, but I can only take so much and this morning, seeing her like that, knowing she knew I was watching her and still she...” I pull in a lungful of crisp, morning air. “What do you want from me?”

To his credit, Daniel doesn’t shut me down right away. He turns his head in the direction of the diner.

“You hurt her. She thinks you hated what you saw—”

“I didn’t!” I snap, a surge of panic closing around my throat.

“What did you think it would look like, Chris? You stormed off, wouldn’t acknowledge her, snapped at her...”

He doesn’t need to finish. He’s right. Of course, she’d think that. I should have fucking realized instead of getting my head stuck up my ass.

“That isn’t...”

“I told you she was fragile and this is all new to her. She doesn’t know you, doesn’t know what you’re like. Right now, all she knows is that she let you see her at her most vulnerable and you threw it back in her face.”

Fuck.Fuck!

“I didn’t! Daniel, you fucking know...”

“She doesn’t,” he stresses. “She’s the one you need to talk to and fix it.”

I’m ready to charge back into the diner and set shit straight. I even start forward. Daniel blocks me. His light, brown eyes meet mine.

“I love her, Chris,” he says at long last. “I’ve never loved anything or anyone the way I fucking love her. I would die for her.” He rubs his brow with four fingers. “I will kill anyone who hurts her.” The message is clear, and I don’t argue it; I would kill anyone who hurt her, too. “Anyone.”

I get it.

Me included, and I don’t blame him.

“I never meant to hurt her. I never would. I don’t love her, but there’s ... something. I can’t explain it. When I look at her, it’s not,” I pause to think of the word, “I want her. I want to taste her and feel her under me, but I feel stupid when she smiles. I want to protect her and hold her, and take care of her. I’m weirdly obsessed with that dimple in her chin and the way she’s so tiny but vicious when she’s angry, like a wet kitten. It’s insane because I don’t even know her last name. I met her a day ago. She’s literally a stranger, but I’d commit murder for her.”

The corner of my brother’s mouth quirks. “I don’t know how to tell you this but that’s love, little brother.”

“No—”

He cuts me off. “She’s not Lucy. She’s everything Lucy wishes she could be. If you’re sure you want to be in this, she will give you everything. She will love you with every piece of her soul. Granted, she’ll try to take it back immediately after.” He chuckles when I frown in confusion. “She thinks if she tells people she loves them, they’ll die. She thinks she’s cursed and I’ve tried to tell her, her therapist has tried to tell her, doctors, literally everyone has tried to tell her it’s not true, but she’s as stubborn as she is amazing. So, she will tell you not to love her, but she makes it fucking impossible not to.”

I thought about that a long moment, seconds while I try to absorb what he’s telling me.

“I want it,” I decide firmly. “All of it.”

Daniel seems unsurprised. Fucker probably already knew I can’t walk away from her.

“Slowly,” he says. “I mean it, Chris. I know what you’re like. You’ll push too hard, come on too strong and you’ll scare her. Slow.”

Anything I say won’t make a difference. Words can be broken. Forgotten. It will all depend on my actions from this moment.

But I give him a nod that I understand. I accept. I will protect her with my life.

Mira sits up straight when we return to the booth. Her gaze moves between us, questions barely restrained. Two mugs of coffee and a glass of orange juice rest on the table.

“Christian’s going to stay,” Daniel tells her, sliding into the spot next to her while I regain my seat.

I don’t miss the way she scoots into Daniel’s side the moment he’s settled. I don’t miss the smile he gives her or the palm he smooths over her hair.

I want that. I want her in my lap, face in my neck while we watch TV and I rub her back. I want her curled up in my bed, the scent of our sins hot in the air. I want her to light up when she sees me, not glower the way she is now.

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