Page 81 of Shroom for Improvement

“W-what would we do with all that money?” Oggy asked.

I shrugged. “Buy things you want, go on vacation, travel the Eight and a Half Kingdoms, take the CrossRealm train from the Mythic Realms to the Human Realms and back up again.” That’s what I would do. “You get holidays and time off, right?”

“Oh, yes, of course we do. Whenever we want it,” Oggy said.

“We’re rather partial to a spot of dilly-dallying, aren’t we?” Willow said, to no one but Oggy.

I nodded, smiled, felt slightly less like a complete shit. “Dilly-dallying is a fine choice for a recreational activity.”

“You’re telling me you don’t collect fees from your guests, but you want to pay staff? How exactly will you be doing this with zero turnover?” Mr Greene said.

“I don’t like this guy,” Jenny said. “Look at the way he’s sitting, taking up all your couch like that. If he spreads his knees any wider, he’ll dislocate a hip. I’m gonna fire that teacup right into his junk—”

“Okay!” I jumped to my feet, blanked on what to do or say next. As much as I disliked the guy, I didn’t want to watch a live castration. Or get pulled into an expensive lawsuit.

Mr Cope must have read the room because he also stood. “You don’t have to decide anything right away, of course. The house is now one hundred percent yours. We... Cam is merely offering you a solution to your immediate problems. One that could be a financial win for both of you.”

Mr Greene got to his feet as Sonny stood. “We’re happy to come to whatever agreement is the most suitable for your boyfriend and yourself.”

My boyfriend and myself. I almost laughed, but my thoughts tripped over themselves, and my mouth had frozen open. I waited for Sonny to correct the serpent shifter. He never did. Perhaps he’d been waiting for me to correct him, but now the moment had well and truly passed, and the word boyfriend hung heavy in the air between us.

I shot a look at Sonny, whose expression was unreadable or... oh no, was he horrified by the word?

Mr Greene continued as though he’d said nothing soul-splitting or ground-shaking. “If you want to continue living here, we can section the house off and reserve a few rooms for you both—” Mr Cope elbowed him. “A whole wing if you’d prefer.”

“Is Sonny your boyfriend?” Jenny asked.

“No,” I said, answering Jenny’s question, but of course, nobody else had heard the house. “No, that won’t be necessaryyet. I haven’t made up my mind what I’d like to do with the property. I think for now, it’s best to keep my options open.”

“Fantastic.” Mr Greene slapped his hands together. “Would you be up for giving Wes and I a tour? I could take some photos and digital measurements, and get back to you with some costs and rental projections? I mean, based on what I’ve already seen so far, you’re looking at...” He puffed out his cheeks. “Upwards of a hundred Gs.”

“A hundred thousand silvers?” I looked at Sonny, whose mouth hung open as he stared back at me.

“Easily. And that’s per year. This space is so large you could fit at least twenty apartments into it. Possibly more. Plus, there’s the rest of the land, and I’ve heard there are a few outbuildings, too.”

“Claude Stinkhorn, you traitorous bastard,” Jenny said. “You’ve made Oggy cry, you selfish, selfish man.”

“Listen, I haven’t decided anything yet,” I argued back to Jenny. I turned to Oggy, whose eyes were beginning to glisten, her face red. “What would happen to you guys if I sold up? What happens to sentry fae if they no longer have a place to watch over?” It was a question I’d been meaning to ask for a while, considering the chance of me fucking this ritual up was so astronomically high.

Willow shrugged. I only knew it was Willow because Oggy had her face buried in her hands. “We go into the ether.”

“The ether?” It sounded ominous as fuck. Bile crept up my throat.

“The fucking ether, Claude. You would send these beautiful childlike creatures into the ether?” Jenny said—shouted actually.

“Then I cannot sell.”

Mr Greene placed his hand on my shoulder, but removed it after Sonny glared at him. “Let me be frank with you. I’ve hadmy eye on this house for over two centuries now. This house was the entire reason I set up the flagship office in Agaricus. I’m not about to let something so easily remedied become a deal breaker. The sentry fae can stay. We will create new positions of management for them. Everything will stay as it is. It will be like nothing at all has changed except for a few teeny tiny signatures on a piece of paper.”

I closed my eyes. Tried to block out Jenny’s repetitive, “You bastard, Claude. You utter, utter bastard.” Tried to block out Oggy’s snuffles. The predatory way Mr Greene stood rubbing his hands together like a praying mantis. The thought of returning to Remy, to work on the U-train again. The thought of only seeing Sonny twice a day for three to five minutes each time. The sound of ancient Mr Cope’s ragged breathing.

I couldn’t make a decision right now, not under all this pressure.

But I couldn’t very well go into the decision-making process without knowing all the facts from all the options.

“Sure, let’s give you a quick tour.”

The Manure Room and Other Hidden Gems

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